to feel upset family don't "do" Christmas pressies?

[BurbGirl2013]

OK so I have a rather frivolous attitude to money, I admit I love having it, spending it (not into debt) enjoy lovely things in life and get excited by treats and even more so- buying gifts for others.
I love Christmas. my mum and younger brother on other hand are totally opposite- question cost of everything, constantly talking about things being rip off's/over priced/saving £2 off something/ not buying anything new and my brother ruins restaurants looking at menu saying it's all overpiced & he could cook cheaper at home etc..... realise none of these is perfect but some way in middle.

A few years ago my mum decided, with my younger brother (naturally) and my uncle & aunt who join us at Christmas to have a “no present policy”… My mum still gets us a little something and we her- but that’s it. Complete. For all gust. I feels sad hearing everyone else excitedly talking about buying their gifts/what they want and sit there feeling our family is just really sad and odd in this formal, set no pressie policy!!

Its part of Christmas and pressies don’t even need to be expensive? I had a DS last year and really don’t want him ever hearing about this weird boring policy and feeling Christmas in our house is different because of it. Gifts under tree/ everyone ripping open wrapping paper open and excitedly looking at new gifts is now a distant but much loved memory of my younger Christmases.
What do you think?

I also wish people didn't bother with presents for adults. Most people just want to buy and choose their own stuff when they want it and not have to find appropriate presents on an appropriate budget for other people.

I don't have the time or inclination for endless shopping and just pick up bottles of fizz or chocolates/fudge etc with normal shopping - much easier.

If you really want to do all this, second the suggestion to buy for the local refuge or food bank. There's various charities that donate presents to children who might not otherwise get christmas presents.

Or you could just buy extra presents for yourself and immediate family. I think a lot of Christmas present angst would be lost if, for adults, the norm was that everyone bought themselves a present.

You set the budget and buy yourself exactly what you want, and you still get to talk about it and show it off on Christmas day with your relatives and everyone gets what they want, no-one resents unequal present spends with others and nothing is wasted because it is not liked or wanted.

No presents for siblings and partners this year, £10 token for parents

No presents for partner, only buy for 1 nephew, 3 others get money and a further 3 get nothing

Don't buy for extended family and only buy for one friends child

Christmas isn't supposed to be about the presents, it is lovely to get and give obviously but not doing presents doesn't half cutdown on the stress!!

I'm not mean and our family are happy with how we do things, I think that's the difference,

Oh I'm sorry

You are not being unreasonable to think this way, but it doesn't make someone stingy or grinchy or Scroogey or mean not to do it

To be honest, something small and imaginative with a bit of thought put into it is a lot nicer than receiving something more expensive that you probably wouldn't have chosen yourself and that was bought during a fraught shopping trip when all the buyer really wanted to do was go home and put the kettle on.

I don't understand why you love spending money. I just don't get it at all. Why would someone love spending money, especially on expensive gifts that the recipient probably wouldn't want or need. The adults in our family just get 1 or 2 small presents each, maybe about £15 total

Er, Christmas was originally about the giving-God giving his son to the World and the Kings and Shepherds giving gifts to the baby J. In reply to the original poster, my family have started saying this to me and my husband and we just ignore them and buy them gifts they like anyway. We don't care if we don't get anything back. They can afford it, just prefer to spend money on other things. We just don't want the annual lectures from them about their saving the planet by giving second hand stuff to their kids and buying new everything for themselves-but I'm sure that's another thread!

My sister and I have birthday's quite close together. Some years, we agree to each buy ourselves a present, rather than each buying for the other. Its bliss, and makes me feel soooo grown up.

Finallyhere my mum and aunt's birthdays are about a week apart and they now buy themselves a present rather than for each other. For a while they were sending each other presents and then vouchers. It was all a bit silly. Now they get themselves something they know they want!