ExP not disclosing contact details when with dd

[buddhasbelly]

My ExP has our dd for overnight contact (she is very young under 1 years old) and whilst it wasn't stipulated in our court papers that he was to take her to a family member's house every week (he has no fixed accommodation) it was assumed by the sheriff and both parties that this is what he would be doing.

When he collected our dd a few days ago, he stated that yes he was going to the family member's house. After he left I tried calling his mobile (on an issue I had forgotten to check with regards to our dd) which went straight to voicemail. I then called the family member's home to which they said no, your dd and him are not here.

I emailed my solicitor as I was worried that I did not have a way of contacting him in case of emergency, however his attitude is such that I had no right going to the solicitor and we should have handled this between ourselves. My stance is such that as I didn't have a way of contacting him, I didn't have the option to resolve this between us. He has been found to be a consistent liar as well so I felt if I went straight to him on his return, he would have made up excuses at the ready.

I had agreed with him that yes the court papers do not say that he has to take her to the family member's house - it was the fact that he gave an elaborate explanation about taking her to the family member's house when he clearly had no intention of doing so.

So AIBU? he seems to think that as our dd was with him there was no reason to mention this issue to my solicitor and felt that (until pushed) he did not have to give the address of where he was taking her.

viviennemary I have tried to avoid more court actions and tried to arrange things via mediation but as he has gone against his word, I feel it may come to this. I struggle to understand someone that says one thing and does another.

Why didn't you ask for the Court to specify that in the Court Order? You can't know what they assumed.

I was informed by my solicitor and the sheriff that this was the case however it was stated by the sheriff "and we trust x will be staying at x location that child is familiar with" as we were leaving the room.

as that was his residence at the time sheriff said the above. Since that date the relative has said he can only stay there when dd is in his care, the rest of the time he has to sort out his own accommodation and is now of no fixed abode.

Have you a social worker perhaps you can sort out access that way I do think you should go back to court you only need to know your wee girl is safe he is seeing as a slight on him and his parenting he isn't taking your concerns seriously and that imo is detrimental to the baby he isn't putting her needs first just his own to prove a point