to be pissed off at "friend"

[wheresthelight]

I am probably being over sensitive but please give me some perspective...

I have a friend "Paul" who I have known for about 15 years, purely platonic but always been close. he has messaged me tonight just to chat and we got onto him asking about my dsc's (they have met him and think he is awesome for taking them on some stupidly scary ride at the fair) and he made some comment about dp's ex and whether we got on. I said no not really but I am civil because of the kids. Paul then says "well you stole her husband so no wonder she hates you".

I am not and was not the OW, dp's ex was the one cheating and kicked him out when one of her affairs became serious. I am absolutely livid that someone I classed as a close friend thinks so little of me

am I over reacting or should I metaphorically slap him with a tyre iron wet fish

the jealousy might be right, his marriage is in trouble, but I don't think he has feelings for me - i am the complete opposite of his type.

I am giving him a few days to wind his neck in, he needs my help on a work problem so he will need to apologise eventually and then i will ask him wtaf he thinks he is playing at and why he thinks I am that sort of person.

he is a good friend so I would sooner not wipe him out my life

I would ask him where he got that information. I wouldn't try and prove anything to him and would tell him that you shouldn't need to prove it isn't true, and as a friend he should certainly have realised that you wouldn't do something like that, and indeed if you did do it, a real friend wouldn't be so rude about it.

Sorry not clear, I meant as in a joke / cynical 'well, you did steal her husband', something that you obviously know not to be true but thinking maybe she had twisted reality to suit her own purposes. (if that made any sense)
However I see from your update he hasn't apologised so my theory clearly doesn't work and I shan't try to find excuses for him! YANBU.

It's so odd to suddenly come up with this and effectively accuse you of being the other woman when he knows it's not true. Do you think he could be projecting something going on in his marriage onto you? Could he be cheating or might he suspect his wife?

Hmm I wonder if he thinks his DW is having an affair but he is projecting onto you?

Very odd and unpleasant!

I hadn't thought about the projection of what he thinks is going off in his own marriage, and thinking back to a few conversations recently he may well think his dw his having an affair or at least thinking about it.

I guess I need to talk to him when I have calmed down a bit more and am feeling less emotional about what he said to me.