to want to give dd my dp's guitar.

[lemisscared]

So my dd1 (grown up) wants an accoustic electric guitar for xmas. They start at £150 and it is really pushing my budget and the quality will be not brilliant. I really could do with not spending that much money if i don't have to.

Thats the thing - i don't! !

Dp has a guitar that he has had for years and never really used. Bought back in the time when we could afford luxuries. It was over £300 and a lovely instrument. Sitting in the corner of my bedroom gathering dust.

I would like to give it to dd and whilst dp says i can i can tell he isnt overly happy. He says he will not be able to replace it but he never touches it.

Its such a waste. My dd has just taught herself to play and it seems she is pretty good. Has even got a gig booked sometime in the summer.

I am really torn. It seems a shame the thing is never used and having to fork out £££ i cant afford for something not so nice.yet i also share dps reticence about letting sonething go we bought in easier times.

Ah. Sorry, i see that he is not so keen and he is not her father.
No you should not give her the guitar. He could give her the guitar but it is not yours to give.
You cannot afford to give her an electric acoustic guitar this Christmas. That is the issue you need to come to terms with.

But lying, she is in a similar boat to us really, her and her dp have alot of rent etc to pay out, he has an ok job, hers not so much so she doesn't have the spare cash.

Am starting to think i wont give his guitar away though...i might look on ebay, trouble is i know nuthin about guitars

Men are weird about their guitars. They still imagine they may be rock stars one day. It's tedious but I guess it's like giving away a fabulous dress you wore in your twenties but really wouldn't get away with now.

I think you're spending too much on your daughter. When I left home presents got much smaller - a jumper and a pack of socks or something. The big items I may have wanted I would save for and I asked for money towards it and never got more than £40. I'd hate to think of my parents having to scrimp like this for me.

I would give her some money towards a guitar, she needs to decide herself which kind she needs and put a lot of time and thought into it. That said once you know it's easy to pick up second hand guitars for a reasonable price , you do need to know exactly what you're looking for though.

I'm surprised that your dp hasn't said this though

I'm going to repeat, please don't spend what sounds like a fortune to you on a guitar without getting a complete specification from your DD. It will be wasted money and "the" guitar will be on her list again next year.

But, I agree with others, at best give her some money towards it. At 24 with no real commitments she can get a 2nd job if she wants/needs a guitar so much, she certainly shouldn't be leaving her mother short.

Your household has already bought your DD an expensive present.

Never heard of a couple buying presents separately, for child DCs, adult DCs, or anyone else.

And absolutely don't spend £150 on something you know nothing about. I'm bemused that you're buying it at all, but if you feel you should, then I suggest a picture of a guitar in an envelope together with a note that she needs to choose the one she wants up to the value of whatever.

I feel i need to spend similar £££ on both girls though arggghhh

skylark, not buying seperately, just that i have a cleaning job that im using the money for to buy christmas presents. So im buying for both girls. and dp, but there just isn;'t that much to go round :(

No you don't, the rules for adult children are completely different to "children"

e.g. I have lot of nieces and nephews. Only those under 18 get presents. Your older DD has already had her share of "children's" presents.

arrrghhh, we just missed a bargain on ebay, £70 for what looks like one that cost £££ new, fuck.

I'm a guitarist, and was a guitar teacher to many, many students until a few years ago. My advice would be: ask him to lend her the guitar while she saves up for one of her own. She will learn so much over the coming year or two about what she really wants and needs from her instrument - somebody else's is unlikely to cut it, and a new one for under £300 is unlikely to do so either unless you're very lucky (and willing to try lots, and potentially pay extra for an expert set-up and replacing things like the nut, machine heads, etc).

My female (and slightly-built male) students often got on really well with the Taylor GS Mini (semi-acoustic), which sells for between £400 and £500 brand new. A second-hand one could go for anything from £150-£350, depending on the circumstances and the condition. I have one, and chose it after an exhaustive search for a

P.S. I would never, ever buy a guitar without trying it first - especially if it's second-hand. It has to fit her well, and there are lots of condition issues (e.g. warped neck, splitting/splintering fingerboard, dead frets) which can only be spotted in person and are either very expensive or impossible to fix.

One of the best parts of getting good at playing guitar is spending months researching and trying out all of the possibilities, saving up, and buying something that really excites you and brings out the best of your playing ability. It's definitely worth holding out and waiting for, rather than spending half the budget on something nowhere near as satisfying.

Money isn't that short for them if her boyfriend has just bought her a new iPhone. It's just not.

The guitar isn't yours to give away. So you can look for another one, or give her money towards one, but at some point you'll need to face up to the fact that you can't afford to spend big money on her. You need to decide your total budget by the people you have, and you have to stick to that.

Thank you so much MsTwanky - thts really good advice. Me and DD are going to go and look on tuesday, but that was my concern that spending only £150 isn't going to be enough and its a lot of money for me to spend.

She already has an amp but its for an electric guitar, will that be ok for an accoustic?

A loan might be betterer, some kit and the promise of a decent one for next year when hopefully i will have a proper job

What a shame her boyfriend bought her an iphone (unless she really wants one of course0

i also think that £150 is madness if you can't afford it.

give her what you can (£50 for example) for her to put towards a guitar that she chooses.

Am starting to think i wont give his guitar away though...i might look on ebay, trouble is i know nuthin about guitars

But your DP does, so get him to look

But don't give her his one.

Am going to look at guitars with DD on tuesday, but told her i wont be buying that am looking on ebay. I always feel i need to spend the same on both girls. My DD1 felt terribly jealous of dd2 when she was born and i have to admit im a better mum this time around - older, wiser and settled, was only 19 when i had dd1.

diddl, i think the phone is a "cheaper" way for her dp to get her a present as he ony has to pay for the contract, don't get me started on the short sightedness of that. She does need a new phone as hers just died but iphone 6? really???

She is a bit spoilt my dd, gets it from her mother but seen the error of my ways now

You're welcome - please do PM or bump the thread if you want any further help. I'll admit to being a bit evangelical on this topic - I've seen too many parents spend gut-churning amounts of money on the wrong thing, and too many students putting on a brave face to spare their parents' feelings while struggling with a guitar that may be good but isn't right for them.

When she goes to try this guitar, make sure that she does the following:

• Tunes it accurately;
• Tests every single fret on every string for buzz or deadness (and don't buy it if any frets are more than slightly buzzy or don't make a sound);
• Checks the fingerboard and all sides of the body for any splits (grained texture is normal, deep grooves or splits are not);
• Holds the guitar level with her eyes, and looks down the neck (from the bridge end, towards the headstock) to look for any twisting of the neck (if there is anything other than a slight angling-back of the neck at the headstock end then don't buy it);
• Feels the tuning pegs to see if they're sturdy (if not then don't buy it or it'll go out of tune on stage);
• Gives the guitar a damn good strum to check how well it holds its tuning (it may go out of tune if the strings are very old or new, but shouldn't otherwise);
• Gives it a shake to check for any rattling inside (if yes, investigate);
• Checks the electrics if there are any - bring an amp for this;
• Plays if for long enough to be 100% sure whether it's comfortable for her, thinking about the neck shape and the body shape, and whether she likes the sound.

Both of you, remember - this is just one of many second-hand guitars available, and you won't be "missing out" if it's not the right one for her. You're only saving money if she sticks with this guitar until she's ready to buy her "forever guitar" - otherwise, you may as well mentally add £150 to the price of whichever guitar she upgrades to in between. If you wait long enough and keep saving, she'll find a good second-hand Taylor GS Mini or another great guitar going for not much more than you're prepared to pay for this one.

Lots of guitar shops do second-hand instruments for reasonable money. Gumtree, ebay, preloved, and the ad sections in the back of Total Guitar, Guitarist Magazine etc are all great places to find intermediate-level instruments that people are selling in order to upgrade to something more expensive. In every case, putting in the time to find the right one (where possible negotiating on the price), can make a huge difference to how far the instrument will take her.

Regarding amps - which one does she have? Some "electric amps" are fine for acoustics, others are not so much. It's not necessarily an issue for bedroom practice (although a good amp makes it a lot more fun), but it's definitely something to consider when playing live or jamming with other musicians and at open mic nights etc. I recommended the MicroCube because it's very sturdy, mimics lots of different types of amps and effects (which is super-fun), is equally good for semi-acoustic and distorted electric guitar playing (which may serve her well in the future) and is always handy as a super-portable practice/jamming amp. None of my students ever "outgrew" theirs, and neither have I.

In her position, I'd rather have a borrowed guitar for a year or two and a kick-ass practice amp, than an unsuitable guitar and a limiting amp. It's also better for your budget - I got mine for about £70 a few years ago, and loads of my students bought them for similar amounts of money.

Give her what money you can and let her put the rest to. Im getting £30 towards a dress i want from my parents this year.

Oh, and a few more things:

• Ask what brand and gauge of strings are on any guitar she buys (she'll need to know in order to replace them with equally heavy strings, otherwise it'll cause buzzing and she'll have to pay for a new set-up);
• Make sure the guitar has a truss rod on the headstock above the nut (if it does there will be a little plastic cover, usually triangular in shape - the truss rod allows you to change the angle of the neck, which is handy if the strings are too hard to press down or if they start buzzing);
• Ask in a neutral voice how the guitar has been stored (definitely don't buy anything that's been stored in very cold, hot, humid or parched conditions, exposed to steep temperature changes or lots of sunlight - it's no good for the wood or the glue);
• If it's mildly buzzy or the strings are a little hard to press down, factor in £30 for a professional set-up at a guitar shop (should be £20ish plus £10ish for new strings, but I must emphasise that this is only a good idea if the guitar is otherwise great and the strings are only very slightly buzzy in a few places or a tiny bit too high for comfort).

It's fine for her to write all of this down and take a list.

ooh blimey Mstwanky - thats a lot of questions and all really useful (although im very confused now). buzzy is a worry!

Sorry, that should be "truss rod cover on the headstock above the nut" - it's a little triangle or rectangle of plastic or wood at the base of the headstock, which you can remove to access the truss rod.

"My DD1 felt terribly jealous of dd2 when she was born "

Yes, but she's 24 & living away from home now.

You can't give what you can't afford because she felt bad in the past or because generally you can afford more for your 2nd (if that's the case)

And imo you shouldn't feel it necessary to spend the same on both.

Sorry, Lem - it sounds complicated, but it's not too bad for somebody who's used to guitars.

If you can print out or copy this list, it'll be easy enough for your daughter to work through:

1. Tune the guitar to concert pitch, using an electric tuner. Don't tune it to itself - you need to know that it can hold concert pitch without lots of buzzing, or you will struggle to play songs in the right key/along with other people. Wiggle the tuning heads. Do they feel loose or flimsy? Are they easy to turn? Once you've turned them, do they stay put?
2. Individually fret every note on every string, working from the lowest note on the thickest string up to the highest note on the thinnest string. You're hoping for no buzzing at all, and no "dead" frets. If there's any more than a slight buzz in a few places, or any frets don't make a sound, walk away unless the seller is prepared to fix it before selling it to you at no additional fee. It may be fine, but you won't know until it's had a set-up, by which time it may well be too late for a refund. A guitar tech should be able to fix a little bit of minor buzzing in a few places with a set-up, which will cost about £20 for his time and a further £10 for new strings.
3. Look carefully at the fingerboard and all sides of the body for any splits (grained texture is normal, deep grooves or splits are not). Does anything concern you? If so, walk away.
4. Is there a truss rod? You're looking for a little hole at the base of the headstock, just above the nut, OR a plastic cover where that hole should be. If you can't find it, ask. If the seller can't show you it, walk away.
5. Carefully, give the guitar a little shake. Is there any rattling? Can you find the source? If the electrics or interior struts are coming loose, walk away.
6. Plug in and play - do the electronics work okay? Do you like the sound? Look in the battery compartment - is there any corrosion to the battery terminals? If so, walk away.
7. Play for as long as it takes for you to know whether you're comfortable with the guitar. Is the neck shape good for you? Can you play barre chords on it comfortably? Is the body shape good for you? Can you sit with it comfortably? Is it light enough to play standing up?
8. Check the tuning again - has the pitch remained stable? If it hasn't, are the strings really old or really new? If yes, have another look at the tuning heads - if they seem strong and strong enough to "stay put" when tuned to concert pitch, you should just need to change the strings. If you have doubts about the tuning heads, don't buy.
9. Look at/ask about where the guitar has been stored. Guitars don't tend to like spending lots of time in places with direct sunlight, big temperature changes, very hot, very cold, and very humid and or dry places.
10. If you like it, make sure you ask what gauge and brand of strings the guitar has on it. You will need to buy the same next time in order to avoid the appearance of new buzzing, dead frets, etc.

As I said before, feel free to ask if there's anything else you'd like to know!