AIBU to not call this a class present

[Whatdoesaduckdo]

I was asked by the principal of my daughters nursery school to organise a retirement present on behalf of the parents for the class nursery teacher who is retiring at Christmas for health reasons.
I have received 2 donations from parents in the class (£30) and 1 donation from a parent in the other class (£5).
To give the full picture I have had 4 children at the school previously and am also on the board of Govenors which is why I ended up with the thankless task.
There are 26 children in the class some have had older siblings at the school also taught by this teacher - she is lovely.
On the letter I sent out I did say I appreciated it was a difficult time of year but a donation of any size would be appreciated.
There was also a free option of adding a message or a picture drawn by the child to a book that was being compiled - there have been 2 pictures and 1 message all from the same families that donated.

In light if all this it really does seem hard to call this a class present but what do I say I feel mortified that I am supposed to present this on Friday - her last day.

AIBU to say here is a present from a few parents?

Is it just about the money, Trend? would a request for your child to draw a picture or write a note to a teacher retiring through ill health have fallen on deaf ears too?

Maybe in your reminder you should put the emphasis on the personalised contributions and then say you now have x amount to spend , with which you plan to buy flowers and maybe a nice diary/address/note book on behalf of parents and if anyone else would like to still contribute please do so by Wednesday pickup. Presentation will be at x o' clock on Friday.

IMO this is the reason class presents shouldn't be done. Either the school/ teachers club together & give her a lovely memorable present or leave it up to the parents to decide if they want to give.

Not everybody will want to give money to someone (god knows I certainly didn't give a second thought never mind money to certain teachers when they left for various reasons).

However as other posters have said, to protect this woman & save yourself the embarrassment I'd say it was from the whole class.

Trendstopper - when ds1 was in year 1, his teacher retired at the end of the year, and somehow I ended up organising the present from the class. I did do a collection, and we bought her something nice, but I think the thing she appreciated the most was the album with a picture of every child that they had drawn themselves, and their names.

I honestly can't remember if every parent donated money - and I didn't chase people for it - but I did make sure that every child's had done a picture for the album - was that wrong of me, and would you have refused to get your child to do a picture?

The teacher should have some PPA time away from the class which could be used to do the drawing. That would be far more effective than asking parents. Kids are shattered at the moment out of school.

So, have I got it right, you don't have children at the school ATM and haven't had any in the nursery class for some time? How well do the parents know you? I wouldn't recognise the governors at my Dc's school if I walked right into them. I think a request for a class present would have been better organised by a parent of the class IYSWIM? Coming from a governor, it seems like the school asking for money again

Some of the parents may have decided to by their own presents instead.

I do think the art book should be done in school. She can't be in class all day everyday.

I would buy either a big and impressive bunch of flowers or an expensive scarf. and i would say from all the class.

it is what it is. the book thing sounds tricky to organise and if people have not donated they may be a bit shamefaced about doing it.

you have had 6 kids taught by her but lets face it, most families will only know that she has taught their kids for a month or so

Story to clarify I have 2 children at the school this year (twins) I had a child there last year and the previous three attended at 3 yearly intervals.
I know some of the parents from previous years and some from the primary school playground. I always try to chat and be friendly in the cloakroom at drop off.
From what I can tell she is in the classroom all day but I will talk to the assistant in the morning.
I have sent out an email this afternoon reminding parents about the book and hope that some will decide that as it's a miserable very wet day it could amuse anyone stuck inside today.
This is honestly the one and only time I will ever allow myself to be put in this position.
I had quite bad Pnd and anxiety issues after having the twins and helping out at the nursery last year with the help of this teacher really gave me my confidence back and it's been a year since my last anxiety attack but this is starting to stress me out now.
I will give up asking for money and instead I will head to the local antique shops as I know she loves vintage brooches and haggle haggle haggle to get a good deal.
Thank you all for your suggestions

I think a previous poster made a good point. The parents from the nursery class have only known her a couple of months and (maybe?) if she's been unwell hasn't been quite on top of her game. They haven't had time to become attached and perhaps are glad to have her replaced?

Greenfolder you are right I am perhaps over invested in this due to the size of my family and the help and support she has given me personally.
I could half fill the book with contributions from my own children

Definitely have a word with the Head and ask if the children can draw their pictures during the teacher's PPA time. I doubt the Head would say no if you explain. The present, I don't think matters as much but I wouldn't do a 'from', just give her the present. No need to let her know that nobody contributed!

I feel so sorry for you being put in this position, OP.

I do think three separate presents from staff, governors and parents over-complicated things. It might be better in future for the school to put out a notice saying that it is contributing $X for a retirement present for Mrs Y, and any additional contributions are welcome. Then pool it all together for one big gift, to be presented at an assembly.

I also think the other teachers should have made time for the pictures to be done in class.

Ask the head to organise cover and take the teacher out for an hour for some spurious reason. The cover can then supervise the pictures being drawn. I would say that is the most important thing. Tbh I wouldn't expect much from parents if I also received a present from the staff and the governers. A token gift (flowers/chocs/wine) is fine. Try not to let it stress you OP. Easier said than done I know. My brief stint organising leavers gifts in my last school was nearly as stressful as the actual teaching!

I think a reminder is best.

Fwiw, I feel that the monetary value of a present isn't indicative of the value the person has in the minds of those who know her.
Maybe they've all made other arrangements and haven't kept you in the loop.

Maybe they feel that as the teacher isn't working voluntarily, that she is indeed paid, they would rather keep their own money for their own family presents, especially if there are school fees involved - why pay twice?

Two weeks isn't long to arrange things, so I would remind, and then proceed with a present with a signed card from those who did donate. Maybe others have already given a card/ appreciation - not up to you to include them in the thing you're organising if so.

And fwiw, I think vouchers are the best gift. Who needs another vase, or clock or other knicknacks.

I dont buy teachers presents either - and if you asked me to donate £5, you'd be getting the letter right back

If I were at your school I would have been one of the parents who contributed neither money nor child's signature so why don't I respond on their behalf.

As many have already said, I feel there are too many demands for money from parents, whether it's things like being expected to buy a £5 book of raffle tickets, or contribute £5 for teachers as it's Christmas, end of the year, or they're leaving (half way through the year, leaving your child in the lurch) or going on maternity leave. When you have more than one child it really mounts up. Plus I just don't see the need. It's not like these teachers are my friends or work colleagues, I barely know them. When someone leaves their place of work it is their work colleagues (i.e. the other teachers) who should do the whip-round. And by the way, many many teachers have posted on here saying they don't want and feel embarrassed by an expensive gift or bundle of vouchers from parents, they much prefer a home-made card or small gift from the CHILD.

Re the signature, I tend to assume you collectors don't want children's signatures unless their parents have "paid" for the privilege. If you send out another email making it clear you'd like signatures and pictures regardless, you might get some more.

The OP made it clear that the drawing / signature was independent of any financial contribution. As for "leaving your child in the lurch" - how inconsiderate she was not to time her ill health retirement for the end of the school year.

Parakeet I did state clearly in the letter firstly that there was a book and that we would like messages and pictures from all the children.
The request for a monetary donation of any amount no matter how small would be very much appreciated.

I do not feel she has left anyone in the lurch she has received a very serious life limiting diagnosis she will begin her treatment in the new year but this is not common knowledge. We are fortunate that as the principal is a teaching principal we have a part time teacher who provides regular cover when the principal has admin or courses etc she also covers the retiring teacher when she is on courses etc. this teacher is therefore well known to the children and will sub in the full time role until the post is advertised permanently in the summer.
Every effort has been made to minimise the disruption to the children.

Sorry I left the second paragraph hanging as my brain was working faster than fingers
The monetary donation was a secondary request and I honestly did stress that I knew it was a difficult time of year and certainly didn't ask for any set amount.

Parakeet - when I organised the album of self portraits of the children, there was never any suggestion that parents had to pay, if they wanted their children's picture in - we did it precisely because we wanted to have something that everyone could contribute to. And noblegiraffe is right - she has reminded me that some of the pictures were done surreptitiously in school, with the connivance of the TA.

I have heard stories on MN, where it has been made pretty obvious that only financial contributors could sign a card, and I think that is rather unpleasant.

I'm a retired primary teacher, and I'd be horrified if parents were asked to contribute to a leaving gift for me. People are hard-pressed to find extra money nowadays, and especially near Christmas. I would have adored just some little hand-made cards/drawings from the children.

I appreciate that it's very sweet of the OP to wish to have a collection and get a gift, and it's sad that the retiring staff member is so ill, but it's obvious that most parents don't wish to participate. The best thing (as others have suggested) is to sign the card in a general way 'from parents and children'. A bouquet or book token would make a nice gift.

Surely the staff can organise the children to draw in the book etc during their time at nursery. Logistics are very sortable on that. Take a small group out at a time, or get this teacher to swap classes for an afternoon on some pretext.

I would like toknow more about the letters thrown at you - that may be at the root of it. Also I always tend to get round to thesethings on the last day so there may be an element of that. Also... and it's a horrible thought... by sayingpeople could leave money in your DTs' drawers, you have told every parent where there may be money stashed, essentially unsupervised. Is it even slightly possible that someone's been stealing the envelopes? it has happened a few times at my workplace.

The letters thrown at me now there is a whole issue.
Basically the children pay £2 snack money per week this covers break of toast fruit and milk and also helps cover the cost of visitors, Christmas party's etc.
however as is required by the education board it is called a "voluntary donation" this has never in all my time at the nursery caused a problem but this year two sets if parents have decided as it's voluntary they shall not be paying it, this is not I feel a decision made for financial reasons both sets drive new top of the range cars with personalised regs, husbands work, we do have families that are single parents or low earners and very much on the breadline but they pay without fuss.
The 2 mothers quite happily get their take out coffee from the cafe beside school at £2.50 a go on a daily basis but chose not to pay towards the nursery.
They had recently sent a letter to the board of Govenors saying they would perhaps contribute £1 a week if there back dated debt was wiped clean, this request was denied the week before the letter about the retirement was issued.
I can only surmise that this is what led to the letters being thrown at me.

I agree a TA or parent helper needs to do the book. It doesn't matter if the teacher is there. The children can be taken out of class in little groups. The teacher will know what is going on but not exactly what and it causes a bit of excitement. I had the most lovely card with little individual pictures on for my wedding. It didn't matter that I knew something was going on because I didn't see it finished until I opened it at my wedding.