To write total filth in my DHs card?

[grottielottie]

MIL always reads all of our Christmas card and often comments on them.

Normally I write about our year and hopes for next year. This year has been a bit of a roller coaster for me and I would like to write and thank him for his support but I also don't want her commenting on it.

Would IBU to write something so rude that will totally stop this in the future and if so can I have some suggestions?

I want to thank you darling for all the things you do.
Christmas comes but once a year,
Unlike me and you.

You should know just how much
I love your hands and tongue
And who knew that strap ons were such fun
You were right, the best type is Long ;)

So merry Christmas 'name'
and thank you for this year
I'm looking forward to 2015
And keeping the lube near.

MrsP that's great!

Thanks Mad

Jingle balls jingle balls
Jingle all the way
I can't wait till you deck the halls
With cum on Christmas Day

ha...this is making me snigger.

You could blank out a few words to make it more of a festive parlour game for her.

"I want to take your huge - and put it between my sweaty -- and then rub your meaty -- all over my moist -"

could be filth, could just be cooking instructions for the turkey. she'll never know

Can you get one of those ones where you record a message? So when it opens there are sounds you screaming "OH YES!!!! GIVE IT TO ME HARDER BIG BOY!!!"

Ooh.. Nice idea Bogey. Or just heavy breathing culminating with a When Harry met Sally number?

Bogey that just made me snigger out loud in the office, at work

Puny!!!!!!!

Good for the wallpaper.

Errr that should have said NOT good for the wallpaper. (One-track mind kicking in here)

On the first day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Some lube and a pack of three

On the second day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Two purple vibes,
Some lube and a pack of three

On the third day of Christmas
My true sent to me
Three hot men
Two purple vibes
Some lube and a pack of three

On the fourth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
Four horny texts
Three hot men
Two purple vibes
Some lube and a pack of three

On the fifth day of Christmas
My true love sent to me
FIVE COOOOCK RINGS!
Four horny texts
Three hot men
Two purple vibes
Some lube and a pack of three

Etc

puny that's brilliant

LOL at the five cock rings...

There all brilliant! I will be pinching one! Do it!