husband very ill and i am sad /scared

[aprilanne]

hi i realise this may be in wrong place ..my 47 year old husband was diagnosed with bi polar /manic depression at the start of the year after a very long time of being ill then some recovery .well i thought we will cope as best we can .he lost his job everything after 30 in same firm .the only job he ever had .he now gets sickness money from government ..the poor man has been getting worse no memory /aggression .getting lost on simple journeys /terrible shaking .well on wednesday he was diagnosed with early onset DEMENTIA.i am shattered i just feel terrified for the children not babies thankfully .late teens .but i feel he is a young ish man how the hell are we going to live with this .he told me just to leave him .not that i would after 25 year but no point kidding .i don,t feel angry at what my life will probably become .i think i am sad because my mum died just last year so my life seems to just collapsing about me .my inn laws are just trying to ignore the fact .they just make a joke of it all .i know there is nothing i can do to change the situation but i am so scared .any advice from anyone would be greatfully recieved thanks .

What a terrible time for you all. Sending a big un mumsnetty hug..

On a practical level, my friend's dad has dementia and lives in Scotland and the care and support has been excellent. Don't rush things, you will be learning a whole new landscape and language and you must ask for help as much as you need it. Do get in touch with adult SS for respite etc if you need it.

Secondly you will probably have a lot of form filling to do. Get help with this because it's all in the wording. I have Ill Health Retirement and it's been such a fight. And taken forever. So get as much help as you can.

Good luck and take care.

thanks everyone .i thought no one would respond because it such a rare condition .it makes me feel better that you all took the time .thanks never heard of admiral nurses .only mcmillan i will enquire about this .whatever 5 thanks because you obviously have your own health problems .

May I add my sympathies and suggest that your husband and you make a Will each (if you haven't already done so).

Please accept a BIG virtual HUG from me, from reading your post you are a loving, caring and brave lady. .

As other posters have advised please put in a PIP claim asap as there are big delays in processing them. When you receive the form please contact an organization called Fightback, you can find them on Face Book, they will help you fill out the form, as they are a pain and a half to do, they do not charge a fee all they ask for are donations. They have loads of advice and help on their site, so worth giving them a look.

Contact the Alzheimer Society they will have loads of help and advice.

I would get the financial side of things sorted asap.

I don't know a lot about this, but get as much advice as possible.

Make sure you get all the help you need.

Sorry you are going through this. My nan has mixed dementia and she is a shell of her former self