dh sleeping

[JamaicanMeEatMincePies]

I suspect I am, which is why I want to be told either way before o get rants at him

Dh had an operation 3 weeks ago. He is fine and is recovering well, but is sleeping a huge amount. I understand that after an op you sleep a bit more but he has been sleeping very late (as in he is still fecking asleep now!?) and has this week missed 3 appointments with the nurse to change his dressing because he couldn't be arsed.

My patience is starting to wear a bit thin now, I don't think he needs so much sleep and it feels like he is milking it. Plus I am pretty pissed off that he keeps missing these appointments, his dressing hasn't been changed in 2 days now and he seems to think it's fine and told me he has some spare dressings (which are meant for the district nurse to use over the weekend) and that I can do it for him!

WIBU to give him a bollocking 1. for being a lazy bugger and 2. for not thinking about his health and wasting the surgeries time by cancelling appointments less than an hour before he's due to be there?

I fully accept that perhaps I would be thanks

He seriously needs to get his dressings changed on time.

Our family has a lot of experience with pilonidal sinus problems, and dressing and repacking are vital if the removed sinus was large. If he gets an infection, or the wound heals incorrectly, the operation could be for nothing.

When I had mine removed, which was smallish, I slept a fair amount the first week because moving around was so tiring ... but if he is sleeping a lot still, and the wound is significant, well, it could indicate a problem with the wound or something.

I don't know whether you know much about dressing wounds using aseptic technique op? I know it's not rocket science but if you don't it could cause and infection in the wound, so he needs someone who knows what they're doing and has the proper equipment and sterile gloves etc.

People like him are one of the reasons the NHS will end up charging for visits. Every time someone cancels or doesn't turn up to an appointment the argument for charging patients gets slightly stronger :-(

wobbly that wasn't especially helpful, but I get your point. As I have stated already I don't agree with him missing the appointments and I have stressed that to him already. It's also why I've been making him call to cancel rather than not show so at least the nurse can get on with her list instead of waiting about.

This is what I'm concerned about, knowing him I'm assuming it's laziness as he does like to sleep long hours if he can, but what if it's not that? I am trying to get him to go to get the thing changed but he just doesn't seem to care, or possibly doesn't see how important it is.

I don't know, maybe I need to speak to him some more about how he's feeling? He's usually pretty motivated and does a huge amount around the house and has a very busy job, is fab with the dcs (who are away just now, so not an issue atm) but he's just been pottering for the last few weeks and maybe he's lost his motivation or something

TheCow yes I know how to change the dressing properly and use the correct PPE etc but I don't have any experience of this particular wound and what to look for in terms of what the packing should look like when removed (colour etc) or any fluid that shouldn't be there. A few years ago my son had an op for a preoricular (sic) cyst and I had to be shown how to change the dressing then as ds (who has Aspergers) would not let the nurses near him without a fight so the actual changing is okay but I wouldn't know if something was wrong iyswim?

Yes I see what you mean. So you could do it in an emergency, but he needs to get his arse out of bed and go to the clinic doesn't he. Tbh I would be the same if I didn't have to get up! Without routine and structure I stay in bed for ages

I could do it in an emergency, yes. But don't think I should as it's just encouraging him plus I don't even have enough dressings etc.

Can't you start making loads of noise in the morning, hoovering the bedroom and flinging open the window to let fresh air in etc? If he leaves it too long presumably the flesh will start to heal around the packing, and it'll stink before long too. Does he not realise what could happen? It could be pain putting him off going, might be worth suggesting he takes some painkillers an hour before to take the edge off.

I don't think it's pain, he says it doesn't hurt? And sadly all that being loud will achieve is him talking nonsense at me in his sleep tried that

On the plus side I managed to get him up before midday over the weekend. On the down side the bloody district nurse never actually came so I ended up having to change the damn thing anyway