AIBU or was this gynae appointment normal? Sorry long and maybe TMI.

[StandByYourTesselators]

Had an unsuccessful trans-vaginal ultrasound appointment - unsuccessful in the sense that the radiographer said he couldn't continue and will rebook me with the hospital.

Now, I do have anxiety with these kind of appointments, and for the last smear and gynae exam I've been prescribed with diazepam which has allowed me to relax enough for the exams to proceed. Without being specific, I've told my GP that an incident in my past makes these kind of intimate exams difficult for me, and the GP has been very understanding. This is kind of why I can't tell whether my anxiety is clouding my feeling about this appointment or whether it was actually not quite right.

I've been having a lot of pelvic pain for about 18 months, had a clear smear and scan last year, but as the pain has got worse, I was sent for another scan.

At every gynae appointment I've ever had before - during pregnancy, miscarriage, routine tests etc., the procedure has been roughly the same. Female practician, carefully arranged to preserve modesty as far as possible, screen, locked door, blanket over naked lower half. Pretty much the whole exam takes place with your bits never being fully exposed. I've had a colonoscopy before and the doctor was discreet and lovely and the patient's comfort was paramount.

So I get a letter saying come to the clinic (in the supermarket!). Gynae appointments have been outsourced to a private company which has been set-up specifically to take an overflow of NHS patients. The clinic operates in the evenings out of office hours, so great from a convenience point of view.

I turn up for the appointment, and am called within 5 minutes. All good and efficient so far. The exam room is very small. The light is bright and glaring. There is a corner desk with a male radiographer (a very obviously post-retirement gentleman) sitting at it which was a bit of a shock. Both the chaperone (female) and the radiographer sense my shock and ask if I mind being examined by a man. Erm, I do actually, but as I'm more concerned with finding out what's wrong with me I say it's okay. I've always been informed before if there's likely to be a male examiner and given the choice to wait for a female one - even at the GPs. They explain that the clinic only have one male radiographer, so it's not possible to offer patients a choice.

Then they pull a screen back, and behind it is a very short exam couch with stirrups attached to the end. As the room is so small, the end of the couch - basically where my arse would be - faces the door (which faces the waiting room!), and the chair where the radiographer is sitting. About 2 inches from his face. He specifically said that my bum should be hanging slightly off the end.

Every other exam I've ever had, the bed has been against a wall, with a blanket or sheet for covering up, and the radiographer sits to one side in front of the ultrasound machine and gently inserts the probe, expertly with no need even to look what they're doing.

I have a massive problem with stirrups. I have a massive problem with my entire rear end being exposed with legs akimbo with my bum hole 2 inches from someone's nose. Facing the door. With the lights on. Not so much Fanny by Gaslight as Fanny by Floodlight! I've had so many gynae exams during my life, and not one of them, EVER, has required to me to be so completely exposed and so close to someone's face.

I explained that I didn't feel comfortable being so exposed and that my sciatica would make being in stirrups very difficult (this was at least true), so the radiographer agreed to take them off and I could just lie on the bed, feet together knees apart just like a smear test. He inserted the probe and the test seemed to be going just like all the other ones I'd had, when he just suddenly stopped and said he couldn't do it this way and that I'd have to rebook with the hospital. He explained that some radiographers do it the way I'm used to, and some do it his way. I seriously feel for any other girl or woman who does it 'his way' as I feel it's so intrusive and unnecessary.

I just can't shake the feeling that something wasn't right. Is my perspective completely skewed by my anxiety and experience, or was this exam a throw-back to the pre-enlightened days of female medicine?

Whenever I had a transvaginal scan I have never been in stirrups and my life half has always been covered and door locked. Tgat radiographer should have been experienced enough doing it both ways.

YANBU, it's sounds an uncomfortable set up to say the least,
Having said that, I had a colposcopy and mirena coil fitted and a little bald indian man did it. He was very pleasant and there were 2 female chaperones but I had to out my feet in stirrups and when I looked up it looked as though he was almost sitting on the floor.
All I could see between my legs was a bald head, as though I'd just given birth to him
As I'd never had anything done before (apart from a smear) I just accepted it, but it was strange!

Maybe he didn't lock the door as that could have looked quite intimidating. take your knickers off and ill lock you in?
I think i prefer medical people to be efficient than pandering to me.

He wasn't able to do his job because the OP wouldn't let him continue in how he normally does it. He did try her way. Different medical schools/different times of teaching teach different ways of doing things. i would prefer him to do it the way he has been doing for decades to get a proper examination and be uncomfortable for a few minutes than ask him to do a new way and risk him missing something.

dignity this doesn't really exist when someone is sticking something up your fanjo.

If your anxiety is so bad that you can't get through a medical procedure then i think there is an obvious need for some counselling to get past whatever happened in the past.

And you have no idea what kind of life i been through Bulb, not everyone who has had bad things happen to them spends the rest of their life having panic attacks when being in a room with 3 professionals.

Blimey

And you have no idea what kind of life i been through Bulb, not everyone who has had bad things happen to them spends the rest of their life having panic attacks when being in a room with 3 professionals.

Oh, so it's the childish "Everyone should react the same as me to trauma" mentality then.

I've been assaulted to, and I don't get panic attack either, but I certainly wouldn't be so arrogant as to assume that everyone must react the same. It's sort of a bitter mentality to think "I never got support, so they damn well better not either. Look how fine I am".

Stirrups ensure the practitioner is not booted in the face.

Cheese buster you are being way OTT. You try having a complete (male) stranger stick something dildo like up your fanny as high as he can get it and thrust and waggle it around and around, and see how you feel about it, you may surprise yourself and not be so big and tough as you thought you were. I am most certainly not a prude, but this was too much for me, that "line" was crossed.

OP there was a female in the room, but she was sat with her back to me and the sonographer writing reports, so chaperone is not the term I would have used to describe her ??

Cheesbuster, I work with people who have been abused - people react in all sorts of different ways for all sorts of different reasons. A little empathy goes a long way - you may want to consider that.

I wouldn't have been bothered by the set up you described but you were so maybe if it happens again it would be better to voice it. i don't think he did anything wrong but you aren't wrong to feel uncomfortable either

Stirrups ensure the practitioner is not booted in the face.

Windchime that is an excellent point :) But to some women who have been assaulted or who have issues with gynae treatment, it also feels like being restrained. I have major difficulty with stirrups for this reason as it reminds me of a time when my knees were forcibly held apart.

I refuse stirrups unless in case of absolute medical necessity for this reason.

Given how many women are sexually assaulted in the UK every year, survivors of rape/ child abuse/ assault will constitute a statistically significant minority of patients for anyone involved in gynae care (GPs, surgery nurses, sonographers etc etc) and it's not acceptable that their needs aren't thought about when planning care.

That said, the man in question was clearly doing his best in a set-up he didn't design and he sensitively stopped rather than put you through more. I think he made the right call in the circs.

This sounds like an inadequate set up. I have never experienced anything like this. Were there not curtains over the door to stop people barging in? If they cannot set it up in a patient-friendly dignified manner with privacy, I would question the rest of the work really. I just had a breast screening appointment with a male radiologist and they are very, very careful to preserve your dignity and keep out of the way during the getting dressed and undressed bit

I am not impressed by the way he could not finish it either. He must not have enough experience in gynaecology. He will need to be coping with much more than people with sciatica.

I would write down what you have said above in a point by point factual way and discuss it with your GP and if necessary go further. It is not good enough and all health services will go this way if people just accept it.

If you're gonna be charging the NHS big bucks to provide a service, then it should at least be fit for purpose.

They WERE 'fit for purpose'. It just wasn't the way YOU wanted it.

I think he 'called it' very well by stopping the examination tbh.

Whenever I have a smear test or similar, the couch does actually have stirrups, and the doctor last time did actually "strap a torch to [her] head". To say I was surprised is putting it mildly! At least it was a woman. I don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable. I'm not in the UK though (I'm in Denmark, before someone thinks it's some third world country!)

Stirrups are actually better for tv scans. I've had many many of these as had multiple ivf's and stirrups according to the gynaes give the best positioning of the pelvis for viewing.

You weren't comfortable but if you had just done it the way he had set up it would all be over and you wouldn't need to go and have a repeat done. That might be harsh but that was a wasted appointment which costs the nhs money.

I've had a lot of exams like this sowouldnotconsider them unusual or inappropriate, however if these conditions upset you I think it's perfectly reasonable to ask for different things. Were you able to express your preferences or did you feel too uncomfortable?

I saw my GP today and mentioned it to him. He suggested I write to the clinic in the first instance and see what they have to say. He said it doesn't sound good, especially as the clinic was set up for the sole purpose of gynae scans.

Just to reiterate, there was no option of waiting for a female sonographer as they don't have one. They have only employed ONE sonographer, who is male. Every single woman to goes to the clinic will be seen by this man, in this method.

Cheese I don't think I'm fussy , or prudish in any way. I've had a (male) doctor poke around my bumhole I didn't mind because it was wholly necessary. But 10+ fanny examinations where a quick glace was sufficient to do the job is vastly different to having my entire joy deparment parted and on display inches from some guy's face.

But on the other hand, he could be the best, most skilled sonographer who gets brilliant results this way, and I'm just projecting my issues onto this situation.

I'm confused which I guess is why the opinions and experience of other people is so helpful.

I had a colposcopy a couple of years ago... I was lying there with my bum hanging off the edge of the couch, feet in stirrups, when the lightbulb in her machine went, and she left me, legs akimbo, while she went off to look for a replacement. Bum pointing towards the unlocked door.

That's probably the least fun I've had in stirrups (until the forceps delivery of my little boy!) but I've had several smears and genito-urinary examinations in similar situations (stirrups, bum pointing towards the door, no lock etc). It doesn't bother me but I've never been assaulted. After the birth of my son, I had an infection in my stitches, and had to be examined by my male GP, and while I didn't ask for a chaperone, I would have preferred to be examined by a woman.

I've had several tv scans during ivf and it sounds normal to me. (I actually find stirrups more comfortable than lying on a bed with your bum hanging off the end, and me having to sit on my fists so they can reach my retroverted cervix.) It sounds like he acted in an appropriate manner.

A quick update. Had the re-arranged appointment today, and it was a completely different experience.

Lady radiographer, dark room, no blanket but a giant piece of paper towel. She sat at the side of me, with the lights off and didn't even need to look where she was pointing the wand. Exam carried out without any exposure of pantal region, apart from the brief walk from the chair where I left my clothes to the bed.

Only embarrassing bit was after the exam when I walked back to the chair inadvertently clutching some soggy paper towel between my buttocks