To be annoyed about the lack of seat belt?

[divafever24]

Pil brought dd (3 yrs) home last night in their car from their house. Granted we live maximum 2 minutes away in the car, I was quite horrified when dd walked in saying " grandma says I didn't need to wear a seatbelt cos we weren't going far!" Not wanting to cause a scene I kept my mouth shut but secretly I'm fuming. Dd has recently moved into the next group of seat where she has the seat belt across her. I've been trying to teach her how important it is for her to wear it and not press the red button whilst in transit.

1. should I say something to pil?
2. how do I explain to a 3 year old I do not think this is a good idea
3. aibu to think it doesn't matter how long you are in the car, accidents happen?

When my son was 4 we had a car accident

Police could not have made it clearer to me the following day - we were incredibly lucky to have not been seriously injured as it was - basically a stroke of luck saved our lives. However, if I had made the choice to not use his car seat then he would, regardless of our 'luck' the investigating officer was certain that my son would be dead or seriously injured.

Our journey was 2 mins from home - personally I would never allow my child in a car with them ever again.

I'll also add that I was on the drivers side (obviously) and son was on passengers.

I was off work for five months and 4 year later still have issues. Son - thanks to side impact seat - had no ongoing issue

Thanks for the link selfconfesed, I've just had a read. I think they just don't realise the risk and consequences as seat belts weren't compulsory when dh was a toddler. Having said that I was transported by my mum and dad as a baby in a carry cot behind the seats but they are more than happy to ensure dd is in the correct seat in their car so no excuse really. Had a good chat with dd and asked her to make sure they put her in her own seat next time with the belt on. I will keep drumming it into her over the next few days and speak with mil at weekend.

I agree with other posters re having a word with them. When i was six years old i was in an old Morris Minor being driven home from school by a friends brother. He met a tractor on a blind corner and braked sharply. I was thrown from the back into the front (tip up seats) and smacked by head on the dashboard.....

A friend of mine was involved in a car accident a couple of weeks ago. The driver had to be cut free and my friend sustained a broken collar bone. They had been hit by a speeding car that had appeared out of nowhere.

Your PIL might think he is a safe driver, but you can't assume all other drivers are.

Gosh sorry to hear about your accident dayshiftdoris and so glad you were alright. I am reassured that I am not being unreasonable, and will be making it clear too them no seat belt no trip. In fact I think I will be collecting her myself next week rather than them bringing her home. Dd has been lucky this time, but what could have happened doesn't bear thinking about.

I would say to MIL and FIL that if they ever drove dd unrestrained ever again, it would be the last time I left her alone with them.

Agree with think I've been hacked.

My MIL had an accident with DS in her car just last week (no other vehicle involved just a stupid and reckless momentary lack of judgement), he was in his car-seat and thankfully everyone was unharmed.

The car was fucked

Its simply not worth the risk and I'd be having strong words with PIL that the children are belted in or else they will never travel with them again, not even 2ft!

I have the same dilemma
Found out tonight that DD has been driven to an after school activity since September without a seatbelt.I had no clue.The lady that takes her has 2 children of her own and they both wear belts.
Now need to think of alternative way to get DD there

You should have said something when your DD first raised the issue - 'oh no Granny's wrong, you always have to wear a seat belt to be safe in an accident. It's the law'

As you hand her over to mil say loudly 'now remember DD you have to wear your seatbelt as we don't want you to get hurt if mil has an accident'

Some people still don't believe seat belts are important, particularly those of a certain generation where seat belts didn't exist or weren't used when they were younger

I regularly drive a car with no seatbelts but I believe it is illegal to carry a child below a certain hight/weight.

Sorry but isn't your dd too little for a seat belt. At her age a seat belt could be extremely dangerous with out a stage 2 seat. I think it is to do with the positioning of the belt versus organ and neck positions.b

anothernumberone are you talking about stage 1 which is 9 mths to 4 years or 9kg to 18kg?
Car seats and seat belt guidelines are given in weight and age approximations. I have a nearly three year old who is tall and weighs 16kg. He is of the weight for a high back booster which is 15kg to 36kg (stage 2) but doesn't meet the age approximation (4yrs to 12yrs). But it is just an approximation. The new guidelines for car safety rules come into effect in 2017/18 (cannot remember the exact year) but are currently running alongside the current legislation and have done since JUly 2013, actually guide by height of the child.
A few years ago when DS was only six months old and in an infant car seat, FIL was trying to put the car seat using the three point belt in the car. The belt was actually too short. I said I would follow in my car (journey of five miles) and FIL looked and asked if it really mattered because it was just a short distance. I flipped and reminded him that acidents happen due to negligent driving and can happen even in the same street as your house NOT due to the distance that you travelled!
Could be a generation thing. I have bought MIL a high back booster set for her car to pick up DS from nursery even though the distrance is actually less than a quarter of a mile. She claims the distance is too far for her to walk (it isn't but she fears DS would run out into the road) due to her 'disability'. This woman manged an entire 6 hours shopping trip to our local City and actually we had to find her in M&S because she cantered off so quickly!!!

anothernumberone dd is almost 4 and weighs enough to go in a high backed booster seat which you feed the normal seat belt through. Thanks for your concern though.

it will be a group 2/3 seat that the OP is using and will have guides near the headrest to feed the seatbelt through so it sits in the right place. It is suitable from 15kgs but ideally you should wait until the child is 18kgs before using it (the upper weight limit for the group 1 seat)

If the car has seatbelts (a few very old ones do not) it is illegal not to use them

If a copper in a bad mood saw them with a passenger without a seatbelt, THEY would get points, even if there was no accident

I've found it's easier to teach DC to enforce the 'no seat belt no ride' rule as you just can't rely on adults. They can still be polite and just have to say 'mummy says I always have to wear a seat belt, no exceptions'. DD had to say it twice when going home after school for play dates and the mum put their DD in the middle without a proper seatbelt instead.

Shanks313

What's the driver's rational - "my kids are safe - yours is fnucked" O.M.F.G.

A driver will not get points for passenger not wearing belt provided passenger is over 16, the driver is only responsible for ensuring minors agree wearing seatbelts. An adult passenger not wearing belt is responsible for themselves and they will be fined not the driver, you can't get points on licence as passenger but you can be fined.

But the passengers in the thread are children ......
If more adults realised that they face the penalty, they might wake up

The cut off is 14. After 14 a passenger is responsible for their own seatbelt use, before that age it's the driver's responsibility.