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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not offer to pay tutor for missed session?

47 replies

ILovePud · 09/12/2014 17:14

My kids have a tutor on a Tuesday, I completely messed up and forgot that they are at a school event tonight. I rang the tutor, who is lovely, reliable and great with the kids as soon as I remembered this afternoon. She's going to ring me back and see if we can reschedule for later in the week. If we can't should I offer to pay for the missed session? We don't have a written contract so I'm looking to see what the consensus is on what to do.

OP posts:

SauvignonBlanche · 09/12/2014 17:38

I offered to pay for a missed session when the tutor turned half a hour after I'd been taken away in an ambulance. It's not the tutor's fault if you cancel at short notice. She didn't take the money in my case.

PongPong · 09/12/2014 17:40

You do have a contract, she tutors your DC, you pay her for it. The biggest myth ever is that if it's not in writing, there's no contract.

listsandbudgets · 09/12/2014 17:45

Agree with testtesting - either reschedule and pay for that session or pay for the missed session. No reason tutor should be out of pocket because you forgot something

On the flip side, we turned up to DD's violin lesson lasst week to find the teacher had had to cancel (she had phoned my mobile about 40 minutes before hte lesson but I didn't hear it) She's refunded us the cost of the lesson.

Original poster

ILovePud · 09/12/2014 17:56

I said we don't have a written contract PongPong, the lack of anything in writing means that it's not clear whether cancelled sessions need to be paid for or how much notice would be needed not to incur a cancellation fee and we've never discussed this beyond her saying that there's no problem if I need to cancel a session just to let her know. However because I only gave her a few hours notice I will offer to pay and will have a chat about how we can manage cancellation/rearranging in the future. Thanks for all the replies.

OP posts:

RawCoconutMacaroon · 09/12/2014 18:03

I've had various tutors (and driving instructors) for the older DS's and it's always been my rule that other people don't pay for my screw ups.

If we forget, or have something come up at short notice we pay - although often a tutor will reschedule if they are able to.

If it's a planned break in the routine (holiday, school break), we don't pay but that's because it was discussed at the start.

Marylou2 · 09/12/2014 18:27

Definitely pay her. It was your error.

irregularegular · 09/12/2014 18:31

You should definitely pay if you can't reschedule. I'm surprised you hadn't paid in advance.

WooWooOwl · 09/12/2014 18:32

If you rearrange for later this week and still go as normal next week, then you will just be paying for the sessions you use.

If you miss a week completely because the weeks session can't be rearranged, then you should pay for the missed session because of such short notice.

I don't think it all comes down to whether or not there is a written agreement or contract, it comes down to having morals and being a decent human being.

Iggi999 · 09/12/2014 18:38

Yy woowooowl

Original poster

ILovePud · 09/12/2014 18:42

Tutor has agreed to rearrange, she's a gem and I need a family organiser!

OP posts:

AsBrightAsAJewel · 09/12/2014 18:48

My friend tutors now and people mess her around no end, regardless of written contacts. Luckily she is very popular, so if they do it more than once she cancels the contact and takes on someone from her waiting list! If the tutor is good you want to keep them happy to hang on to them. If you don't have a contacts it cuts both ways, so maybe a special thank you for rearranging and messing her around at short notice would go down well.

editthis · 09/12/2014 20:30

Definitely pay her, though if you reschedule I wouldn't say you need to pay her twice.

I'm a tutor and I spend a lot of time planning sessions as well as getting resources together and printing worksheets out; so, depending on your arrangement, it's not just a matter of the time she has set aside for the lesson (plus the time she factors in getting to your house).

LapsedTwentysomething · 09/12/2014 20:38

So you've made the initial mistake, the tutor is offering to reschedule, you're not sure if you're able to and you're don't feel inclined to pay?

If you can afford tuition for two children you can afford to pay for your own mistake.

Mollymoofer · 09/12/2014 20:42

Yes, you should pay! She may say no but you should at least offer.

RojaGato · 10/12/2014 03:42

You should pay. If she is gracious enough to insist that she will only accept payment for a rescheduled appointment later this week, buy her some chocolate or something similar as an joint Xmas/thank you for being so reasonable gift.

Original poster

ILovePud · 10/12/2014 06:45

Eh LapsedTwentysomething, where did you get that from? We've rescheduled now and if she hadn't been able or willing to do so I'd said I'd have offered to pay for the session cancelled at late notice. I will get her an extra nice Christmas present for being so flexible and understanding though.

OP posts:

Mehitabel6 · 10/12/2014 06:48

You may not have a written contract but you should offer to pay.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 10/12/2014 06:53

Pay her for the missed session, the rescheduled session and compensation for the mix up.
You should probably publish an apology in the local paper (or the Times if you are of significant standing - hint, this would be if you say "what" rather than "pardon" upon missing something someone says to you-)
Then take yourself to confession.

Original poster

ILovePud · 10/12/2014 06:59

TheRealAmandaClarke

OP posts:

welshpixie · 10/12/2014 07:10

I would offer to pay, we had this happen with my DD. We offered to pay but the tutor would not accept the money, so I am planning to give her a nice bottle of wine for xmas. She is also a friend and we are getting mates rates so feel really guilty now.

ilovesooty · 10/12/2014 07:53

Some tutors evidently don't value their time sufficiently and don't set clear contracts. It makes them their own worst enemies if they aren't businesslike.

You wouldn't expect a plumber or similar not to charge.

musicalendorphins2 · 10/12/2014 10:13

It is unfair to have them book their time and not get paid.
Once my son forgot he had a driving lesson, and we had to pay the lesson anyways. Time is money.

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