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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think there are better presents for a one year old than...

64 replies

guiltynetter · 09/12/2014 07:33

a tablet?

this isn't exactly a TAAT but i was reminded of it. when I asked a friend the other day what she was getting her 11 month old (1 in January) for Christmas she replied 'a tablet so he can play games on it, he loves playing on mine'

AIBU to think this is just sad? all of the wonderful toys he could play with at 1...train sets, mega blocks, etc etc and he's getting basically a computer! I keep looking at toys and being disappointed my daughter is too young to play with them (she's 4 months) it's none of my business but after being around my niece who from the age of 4 wouldn't play with 'toys' only an iPad, compared to my other niece who has a brilliant imagination and plays for hours with dolls and ponies. I think it's rubbish.

maybe I'm old fashioned...

OP posts:
canweseethebunnies · 09/12/2014 09:19

Apparently Steve Jobs agreed
mobile.nytimes.com/2014/09/11/fashion/steve-jobs-apple-was-a-low-tech-parent.html?referrer=&_r=0

SaucyJack · 09/12/2014 09:25

I wouldn't buy mine a tablet but I think feeling "sad" is a little dramatic.

My nine month old loves all those noisy, flashy V-tech things. I doubt a tablet is really any different.

quietlysuggests · 09/12/2014 09:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OneSkinnyChip · 09/12/2014 09:27

YANBU, even though I can see that it's up to the parents to control the use. I feel a bit uncomfortable about how prevalent they are, especially with very young children. Some friends give them to their toddlers but are very strict with their usage.

I notice them most when we are out in restaurants. Toddlers seem to be given them to keep them quiet while the parents eat. I can totally understand the temptation but I do think that children are missing out on the chance to learn good social skills, table manners, chat and just people watch. They are very helpful where children have some special needs and would find the restaurant a bit overwhelming but being out and about is a learning experience in itself for many kids, if you give them the chance to absorb it.

Neverbuyheliumbalonz · 09/12/2014 09:39

One of my lasting childhood memories is of 'The Christmas We Got A Commodore 64'. My parents were never stingy with presents but we certainly were not over indulged either. This computer was something we had wanted for a long time, and that morning we came downstairs and it was on its computer stand covered in wrapping paper, is one of my happiest childhood memories!

If a kid gets a massive load of expensive gifts every year pretty much from birth, they are never going to have that feeling of excitement that comes from getting something really 'special'. They will just expect an orgy of ridiculously expensive gifts every year as standard and anything less than that will be disappointing. Why would you want to set yourself up for that, even if you could afford it?

MrsHathaway · 09/12/2014 09:43

I don't wring hands over toddlers' use of tablets - there is an Innotab in my house, although we didn't buy it and it's scarcely used - but I do feel that buying one specifically for a first Christmas is a step way too far.

I agree it isn't so much the tablet per se as the alternatives - show me an 11mo who wouldn't rather have an enormous cardboard box! £100 (say) on a tablet would be far better spent on a couple of gross motor skills chunky toys, a warm waterproof playsuit for when s/he starts walking outside, and a That's Not My book or two. ::grump::

TheIronGnome · 09/12/2014 09:44

YANBU I also think it's sad, as well as damaging and inappropriate.

AugustaGloop · 09/12/2014 09:45

We got our 10 and 11 yos IPod touches last year (then 9 and 10). We had to think quite hard about it even at that age. Access is restricted. Before then they used my IPad from time to time but not if I wanted to use it. I think if a parent is not able to stop a child pinching their IPAD when the parent wants to use it,their are going to have even less control in relation to a child's own device.

fuzzpig · 09/12/2014 09:48

YANBU

Fudgeface123 · 09/12/2014 09:50

I think it's very sad, parents should be playing with kids with proper toys rather than plonking them on the sofa with an iPad.

notagainffffffffs · 09/12/2014 09:51

Yanbu, my two yo is obsessed with ipads etc- we dont have them but she sees other children with them etc and would desperately love one but I know it would result in her sitting on the sofa in silence. Atm she has a great time running around outside and playing trains and dollies and I want to cherish it now

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 09/12/2014 09:56

Yanbu. Very sad indeed.

DoJo · 09/12/2014 09:56

Why does having a tablet meant a child won't play with other toys?

GaryShitpeas · 09/12/2014 09:57

YANBU

Let kids be kids ffs, cant stand this staring at screens all the time

my eldest is nearly 9 and its only this xmas that i am RELUCTANTLY buying him a tablet

Fudgeface123 · 09/12/2014 10:00

Because I've seen it happen DoJo, my friends kids (1 and 2) both have iPads and they scream and cry when they are taken away. They sit there eating their dinner with their iPads, they go to bed with their iPads. Any suggestions of going out to play or with other toys just gets screams.

They are babies FFS, let them play and socialise instead

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 09/12/2014 10:03

A one year old does not need a ££££ toy. Especially one that needs restricting or only used occasionally. If I ever buy dd a ££££ gift I want her to get my moneys worth out of it.

At one, the absoloute most they need is the odd few minute play on one that belongs to someone else. If that.

DD will be three this christmas and it wouldnt even cross my mind to buy her a tablet, let alone an iPad. We have a Samsung tablet somewhere in the house but use it very very infrequently and dd hasnt played on it.

Maybe when she gets to about seven or eight she may want (and we may allow) some sort of techy game toy, in which case we will buy the one that best suits, whether that is a (cheap) tablet or a ds or similar.

A tablet of their own for an 11mo is ridiculous - they will probably enjoy the box more.

Discopanda · 09/12/2014 10:15

YANBU, my little girl was 10 months old on her first Christmas and was more interested in the boxes than the toys :-) I think it's a waste of money personally, you can get toy laptops and phones if they want to be like mummy or daddy

AdventCaroline · 09/12/2014 10:27

There is no way I would buy a tablet for a pre-teen for their own exclusive use, let alone for a baby!

I really don't understand why they can't just share their parents tablet for odd occasions, if they have one. It is just totally unnecessary for a young child to have their own.

And if the household didn't have one, I'd be buying it for the whole family to share.

TimelyNameChangey · 09/12/2014 10:28

yanbu I won't even get my 6 year old one. She shows no sense with regards to the time she spends on her sister's...think massive tantrums when told it's time to get off...I will get her one when she shows she's old enough and self controlled enough to cope.

Neverbuyheliumbalonz · 09/12/2014 10:33

A one year old does not need a ££££ toy. Especially one that needs restricting or only used occasionally. If I ever buy dd a ££££ gift I want her to get my moneys worth out of it.

Yes, this.

Aeroflotgirl · 09/12/2014 10:36

I would not, I think that the i pad has much better apps than android tbh, that is ££££££. Let him use yours, but they could break it, damage it. My dcs have my I pad 1,I have downloaded some wonderful educational apps that my ds nearly 3 plays, and dd who has ASD does. Some include: Reading Raven, Splingo, Reading emotions app, Counting app. I found since ds has started sitting with me and doing some apps, his concentration is so much better. They don't go on it all the time, they get bored after a while.

magpieginglebells · 09/12/2014 10:38

I don't know. Agreed that 1 is young but if it's for occasional use, for journeys etc I don't see a problem, especially so the parents can keep their tablets for themselves and don't have to worry about restrictions etc,

Computers and tablets are not terrible things. The children who are taught code at home (the provision at school is limited) will have a huge advantage in the job market. It is forecast that in 20 odd years time there will be a huge shortage of computer specialists, as everything will be run by computers.

Sorry- went off on a tangent.

TwelveLeggedWalk · 09/12/2014 10:45

I have an iPad, and I've happily used it with the DTs from a young age, but in very short sharp specific bursts.

So googling nursery rhymes to singalong to when they were babies, for example.

We have a few videos - Peppa, Thomas, DipDap - on it, which are a godsend when unexpectedly delayed. Earlier this summer I was involoved in an RTA and stuck at the side of the road, with two 3yos strapped into carseats in an unsafe vehicle for 1 HOUR 45 MINUTES. The only way we got through it was by watching back to back tv on the iPad. I uttered a little prayer to Steve Jobs that day.

I also have a sketch pad app which they love drawing with, and has the great advantage of being mess free in waiting rooms or restaurants.

There are a couple of brilliant CBeebies apps - an interactive story telling one, nad a games one which lets you design and feed your very own dinosaur.

I also use it for googling stuff - so the other day DS was asking me about Red Arrows (he'd seen them in the summer for real) and I was able to call up some pictures to draw one with crayons with him from, and watch some videos of their stunts. Used like this I htink they're brilliant, and I am sometimes tempted to buy a cheap/second hand one 'for' the kids so I don't have to be precious about the screen getting scratched on mine.

BUT we only use it occasionally as they are VERY addictive, getting DS to put it away after he's been watching something that gives him instant gratification (like You Tube 'trains') is hard. And it's mine. They know they can share it, occasionally, if they treat it with respect and are being good.

No way on earth I'd give a 1yo - or tbh under 8yo - their own to use freely.

crazykat · 09/12/2014 11:10

I think a proper tablet is too old for a 1 year old. I've bought 2 year old ds2 a play tablet that has letter keys that say the letter iyswim as he keeps trying to nick mine.

I'm not against technology for kids when its age appropriate. Kids use computers much earlier now - my 3 year old uses basic programmes at nursery, I'm mid-20s and didn't use a computer at school till year 6. However 1 year old is too young IMO but its each to their own.

Fanfeckintastic · 09/12/2014 11:31

It IS sad when we are so obsessed with screens that it's even an issue that people have the problem of having theirs pinched, so you'll both just be sitting there like zombies, face in a screen?? That's an absurd problem to be faced with to be honest!

I'm not being old fashioned but what happened to actually playing with your children? Lego, jigsaws, imaginary games, play dough and then when you want your little break to catch up on your own cherished screen, stick cbeebies on for a bit?