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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to be exempt from present buying at 7 mos pregnant?

55 replies

BigCatFace · 08/12/2014 20:09

I'm from a big arse Catholic family and have spent £200 in order to spend our last Christmas baby free with them. That's 13 hours travel each way as we're getting the boat to Dublin then up to Belfast. We're doing this as flights became too expensive and I'm pretty uncomfortable already.

My son is due in February and I am trying to save as much as I can til then. AIBU to not buy my 6 immediate family Christmas presents this year? I feel like I am...

OP posts:
Original poster
BigCatFace · 08/12/2014 20:51

But I'm balls at small stuff. I always go stupidly overboard with gifts because I worry about getting shite ones. I feel like giving a soap set or something is inadequate.

OP posts:
Putthatonyourneedles · 08/12/2014 21:08

I did the final Xmas present shop at 39+5. It nearly led to mass murder but it's done now.

Get people small gifts, be it smellies or nibbles.

BertieBotts · 08/12/2014 21:12

£20 is quite high for a "small" gift, you can get nice token things for much less than that.

BertieBotts · 08/12/2014 21:13

Agreed let us shop for you, we'll find stuff you can order online and it will be done! We can find ace things for you for under £20 each, maybe even less.

Putthatonyourneedles · 08/12/2014 21:15

Look on firebox.com there are some brilliant gifts on there .

BertieBotts · 08/12/2014 21:15

Doesn't have to be soap sets - what are those four people into? I wouldn't get anything for your mum if you've chipped in for the tablet. Maybe a case for it or something if you have to take something.

greenfolder · 08/12/2014 21:18

get some photo frames and put childhood pictures in them of you all together.

Original poster
BigCatFace · 08/12/2014 21:18

Trying to shame myself has just given me this rush of inspiration, especially for my brother who I was really struggling with. He's just started a genetics degree- he'd love this and it's under a tenner!

www.giantmicrobes.com/uk/products/stemcell-petri.html

OP posts:
frumpet · 08/12/2014 21:21

Nice try OP but no biscuit Grin Buy them a shed load of cheap tat and blame it on your pregnancy hormones , but DO NOT turn up without a gift !

Original poster
BigCatFace · 08/12/2014 21:24

firebox looks ace, thanks!

OP posts:
temporaryusername · 08/12/2014 21:25

Actually if someone in my family told me, even last minute, that they couldn't give gifts, I wouldn't mind. I'd still enjoy giving what I have got well, will be getting with any luck for them. Also, you are giving generously with the other financial support you've given.

It sounds like you'd feel more comfortable giving at least a token gift though. £20 a person is a decent budget, I don't think you even need to spend that. I agree that you making the effort to be there is by far the most important thing. Have you checked out the bargains threads at all?

Light/possibly reduced at the moment - scarves, or a necklace/bracelet. Things you could get delivered - toiletries, books, a selection of 2/3 of their favourite mags with one of their favourite food things. There are loads of really nice things for less than a tenner. If you post in Xmas especially with any details...

SoftSheen · 08/12/2014 21:26

I can only afford £20 each if that but it feels stingy.

I don't consider myself skint but usually spend a bit less than that on my siblings/adult relations. If you don't have any better ideas there is nothing wrong with a nice pair of socks or gloves.

frumpet · 08/12/2014 21:26

The thing is with the little bleeder's , they have no idea whether you spent £2,000 on their cot from Harrod's or £20 from a local face book selling group ( and to be fair , where i live i have seen some amazing expensive cot's go for peanuts on these groups ) . Save your pennies till they actually do care Grin

Waltonswatcher · 08/12/2014 22:29

Op
You simply send a really nice personalised card to each before you get there. In it you say how much you're looking forward to seeing them but hope they'll understand that this year there won't be a gift .
For gods sake it's not about gifts . Your pregnant and obviously this is a time of huge expense . I'm telling you no one will mind , family will just want you there.
If anyone thinks that's a stingy attitude , they're materialistic and grabbing .
Token gifts are great if they are something worthwhile ,but often token gifts end up in land fil .
I'd rather have your company .

whois · 08/12/2014 22:33

£20 each is loads! Nice book, nice candel, something from boots, chocs. Loads of easy wins.

BertieBotts · 08/12/2014 22:37

Grin that's cute! Now what are your sisters/sister-in-laws into?

Bulbasaur · 08/12/2014 22:39

Are you good at DIY type projects?

Cheap but nice The coasters would be a good gift.

FoulsomeAndMaggotwise · 08/12/2014 23:19

I'm also due in Feb with DC2 and beyond skint. (Haven't worked since having DC1 and just moved house etc etc.) But I'm still doing presents. I'm not actually buying anything though, I've made chutneys, fudge, honeycomb, pickles, marmalade, infused alcohol and that sort of stuff. Is this an option for you?

Original poster
BigCatFace · 09/12/2014 00:06

I am pretty uncreative and uncrafty. They're also not that into food and alcohol is banned in our house. That I thought £20 wasn't enough gives you an indication of my tendency to go overboard. So I guess I worry people expect loads.

But thank you for suggestions- my DH always makes me something and I'd like to try for him this year.

OP posts:
Discopanda · 09/12/2014 00:12

We have 9 kids and our own to buy for this year plus another due in April so I'm making presents for grown ups this year. Doing a few batches of shortbread and gingerbread and some glitter glasses as well. Two kinds of glitter and mod podge came to around £10, I already had lots of wine glasses so could use some and still have some left and the edible presents are costing around £15 for about 6 batches. A token handmade gift means a million times more than a present that you couldn't afford

Discopanda · 09/12/2014 00:14

Ah, just saw your reply about them not likely food and alcohol. Homemade bathbombs or bath salts? They work out so cheap and it's the thought that counts.

fluffymouse · 09/12/2014 00:28

Could you ask the family to do secret Santa to save money? It might be a bit late notice now though.

eastmidswarwicknightnanny · 09/12/2014 02:00

As you have to buy groceries when there anyway why not make up a hamper of luxury food n drinks as a family gift to all that way you have done the present n hopefully save some money on groceries when there

maddening · 09/12/2014 03:39

Just take selection packs for the dc of the family - you can usually pick up for a £1 each. everyone will understand and be glad you made it over to see them.

differentnameforthis · 09/12/2014 03:45

If they are adults, they can do without.

They have said not to worry, and immediate family will probably see you as being there enough in itself.

If you feel guilty, perhaps a box of choccies to share on the day, or biscuits?

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