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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not make my son write christmas cards

13 replies

AllOutOfNaiceHam · 08/12/2014 18:57

My 5yo y1 ds has started to get a few christmas cards from his classmates this month.
He likes getting them, but hasn't expressed an interest in giving out any himself.
He probably wouldn't enjoy writing them, judging by the drama we had when I asked him to sign his name in a card for DH a few weeks ago.
We don't really do cards often anyway.
My SIL and FIL are aghast at the fact I'm not buying a cheap pack of tiny cards and "just quickly make him write names in them" because that's the polite thing to do.
this is the same FIL who sulked for months because he got a phonecall and a gift but no card for father's day

AIBU?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 08/12/2014 19:00

Can you get stickers or stamps and let him do it that way? I don't think cards are a big deal really but if he likes to receive it would be nice for him to reciprocate.

ilovepowerhoop · 08/12/2014 19:01

ds has decided he won't do cards this year. I have suggested he does one larger card that is addressed to the teacher plus the whole class. Saves paper and means he is making a small effort.

AlistairSim · 08/12/2014 19:03

No, not unreasonable.
My DS is 7 and was really not interested in writing cards last year, we compromised and he did one large card to the whole class with some chocolate coins.

SweepTheHalls · 08/12/2014 19:03

DS is the same age, I bought him a match attax book as a reward for when they were done. I thought it would be a real battle, but he wrote them brilliantly.

feetheart · 08/12/2014 19:04

I usually buy my two a pack of cards each, will help them do a list if they want to and then let them get on with it, or not.
DS is now 9 and has decided this year that he wants to do cards, previous years he has maybe done one or two and then forgotten to take them in Hmm We will see what happens this year but It Is Not My Problem :)

MrsWembley · 08/12/2014 19:05

If he likes getting them, then it's only fair that he sends them too.

My DD has just done her whole class, the first half unprompted (Shock), the second half was like pulling teeth...Hmm

Cornettoninja · 08/12/2014 19:06

If he likes receiving them I think you do need to encourage reciprocation. There'll be someone who noticed and leaves him off next year which might possibly lead to upset.

Cards were 'a big thing' all the way to secondary in my day.

It doesn't have to be a huge job - a few a night till he can take them in.

Sparklingbrook · 08/12/2014 19:06

I think doing Christmas cards in Primary is all part of joining in. Posting your cards in the post box and them getting delivered around the classes is really nice.

Topseyt · 08/12/2014 19:10

I would be torn. I am the world's biggest hater of writing / sending Christmas cards and am currently looking for any excuse to knock three quarters of my list on the head this year.

On the other hand, I suppose at 5 years old you are still trying to get through the message that there should be giving as well as receiving. Maybe he could just do a handful for any of his special friends.

I wouldn't push it though. It is possible that he gets comments from the other children eventually, and that may get through to him better than anything you could say or do.

FunkyPeacock · 08/12/2014 19:10

Life is too short IMO

Encourage him to write them but if he really doesn't want to then I don't think it's worth having a battle over. My DS usually just writes half a dozen or so to his best friends.
I suspect no one notices as he is now in Y5 and still gets given way more cards than he gives out

Pancakeflipper · 08/12/2014 19:12

Oh the lure of that postbox - posting/emptying/being the bossy one who gets to waltz around the different classes to hand them out....

My DS1 hates writing so does a little cartoon in each card, usually relevant to the recipient - it's part of his Christmas build-up now.

TheMuppetsSingChristmas · 08/12/2014 19:17

We always have plenty of cheap cards at home and if either of the boys want to write some they can, but I refuse to get involved in playground politics! You want to sit down and write, then go right ahead son, knock yourself out - but I am not doing it for you!

Bulbasaur · 08/12/2014 19:40

I buy my cards with name signed as part of the print. No writing required.

Can you do the same for him and just have him hand them out?

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