To think it's fine not to answer my door if I don't want to?

[TimelyNameChangey]

As mentioned in a thread yesterday, I have a neighbour who knocks on my door too much.

4 times or more yesterday.

Just got in from school with DC...we live in flats and her front door is opposite mine...very little privacy.

Anyway...I hear her knocking just now while I was getting DD2 ready for her school performance later and DD1 is sick on the sofa so I chose to ignore it.

She then knocked quietly around 5 times...pausing for a long time between each time.

I felt bloody harassed!

Anyway...I now want to nip to the shop but feel if I do then she'll see me!

Was I wrong to ignore her? Should I just go to the shop? What shall I say to her if she pops out?

Yanbu to not answer if you don't want to.
I hate feeling I have to answer my mobile because it is, well, a mobile, and thus expected. Gets my goat.

Yanbu at all. Like you don't have to answer the phone if its not convenient, same for the door. Its an intrusion.

You're going to have to tell her that you don't want her to knock all the time, she is obviously not going to get the hint if you just don't answer.

Next time, ignore her the first time she knocks. Then when she waits and knocks a second time, answer the door and tell her that you ignored her knock because it's not a convenient time for you right now. Tell her in so many words that if you don't answer then it's because you don't want to be disturbed. Don't help her anyway, or have a conversation about what she wanted, just say goodbye as it is not a convenient time for you.

Do not hide away or make excuses, otherwise she will never learn what you expect i.e. you don't want to help her out and be disturbed by her coming round five times a day. TELL her!

You are not obliged to open your door. Of course it is awkward if she knows you are in. You can just ignore her, and next time you see her say you were busy with the kids. Not in an apologetic way, just a factual way. That is probably more effective than opening and saying you are busy every time.

I do feel sorry for her though, I've been very lonely before and used to hate it when my flatmates went out, it must be horrid to live on your own if you are lonely. Not to make you feel guilty as you can't sort out everyone's problems. But are there any suggestions you can give her to encourage her to go out more and make friends? Local groups and clubs? Church? You could drop it into conversation when she next asks for some sugar!

I thought she was in her 70s or something op.Just open teh door and say its not a good time.There is no point making exscuses as she prob have a rhinos hide and wont take the hint.

How odd. What were the 4 times yesterday for? Is it always a quick thing - borrowing stuff? If so i wouldn't put that down to loneliness.

Fluffy borrowing things. But as DH says he feels that she really is just looking for an excuse to call round. For some reason her wanting a "spare" transformer has enraged me! Who the feck has a spare one!?

I don't...they're like golddust in this house! Go and bloody buy your own!

Saw your thread yesterday. Think you need to keep ignoring her.

It's all very well saying to confront get but I'd hate to do that. Ignoring her and refusing to help is the best way.

I don't want to completely cut her out. She is nice.

I am just very frank in these situations. I say don't mind me, I don't always answer the door or phone if I'm busy!