AIBU? MIL gift

[polpeck]

my partners mum has just got us tickets to a Hyde park British summer time gig in June next year for his birthday. I'm pregnant and due 28th of this month. its a lovely gift but not only will we have to pay £40 each to get there on the train, we will either have to leave early and miss the main act or stay in London at extra cost that we can't afford because of train times. the first thing she said was that she will baby sit..I don't want this as I wont want to leave her over night and not comfortable as mil isn't respectful of the way other people do things plus she lives a little way away so picking up LO would be awkward but I have thought about taking her with us anyway. but the main thing is my OH has taken the week off that week because we planned to visit my parents who live over 4 hours away and I rarely get to see/wont see the baby much, she knew this yet she has still brought the tickets...am I being unreasonable being a bit annoyed? I get on with my mil but just cant help but feel theres some sort of ulterior motive..

Also, can't your DH just rearrange his leave - it's months away!

'That's very nice MIL but we won't be here that week'.

It's a "nice gift" that has cost the MIL £140 to buy but will cost OP and her DH around an extra £200 to use

So? If they want to go, they have the tickets for free. If they don't want to go or can't afford it, "sorry, mil, we really can't afford it now /have already made other plans, do you mind if we sell the tickets? We would have loved to go, it's just not the right time."

What is the big deal? Why believe there is some ulterior motive behind it? But maybe I'm just the gullible type and should have questioned my Mil's motives for giving us tickets to Disney on ice this year.

Something else to consider, I wouldn't have wanted to leave my baby overnight at six months old. I wouldn't have enjoyed a night away, at that age, whatever I was doing and whoever was babysitting.

I was buldozed into letting him sleep in my parents room, just down the corridor, in a hotel when he was 14 months (long story) and didn't even like that. I trusted them completely but still felt on edge all night (baby was fine!)

Everyone is different and you might be fine with it but I would be giving the tickets back for that reason, let alone anything else!

(By the time he was two, I'd have happily sent him to stay with them for a month!)

It maybe a well meaning present or it may havery an ulterior motive, either way don't make it your problem. Keep the exisitng plan with your parents and let your partner deal with his present from his parents.

If your DP doesnt really want this then use it as an opportunity to set some new ground rules with MiL.

DP can reply something along the lines of 'It is a lovely thought but we cant do it, next time it might be better that you check first' then give the tickets back.

It's so obviously a manipulative present - I'm generally a naive, assume everyone means the best kind of person but this stinks to me. Take tickets, smile, then sell.

mil isn't respectful of the way other people do things

This would be ringing alarm bells for me.

I also think MIL is being really manipulative here. I suspect things are going to become much clearer once LO is here.

I would tell her there is no way you are leaving your new baby overnight with anyone, and express surprise she could have thought such a thing. Also I would raise "concern" about her "memory" as she knew you couldn't go to a gig that day as you will be away at DMs.

Sell the tickets on ebay ( and start thinking about how you are going to deal with this situation once the baby arrives.......like moving far far away

Best of luck with your Christmas Baby