We always had real trees but got an artificial one when we had crawling DCs. We kept it until a couple of years ago when we had family visiting from abroad for Christmas and thought we had better get a real one to make it a "proper Christmas."
I was SO excited. Once again our house would be filled with that beautiful Christmas tree smell, it would be FANTASTIC.
We went out on a cold morning to get the tree. We spent ages choosing one. Then paid for it £25 QUID
When did they get so expensive! Then we bought a stand as we remembered that our old stand was a Vindictive Bastard. The stand was £16. At this point I may or may not have remembered that we had a tree we could put up for free sitting neglected and possibly bewildered in our loft.
We wrestled it into the car, where it covered the interior in needles and dirt. We manhandled it into the house, during which process it covered the carpet in needles and dirt.
We put it up , only suffering a few second-degree scratches, which remembering Vicious Bastard Trees I Have Known was actually quite encouraging. Hmm. It looked nice. Bit spindlier than I had thought when we had chosen it but hey. We decorated it. Lovely.
I didn't notice any Christmas tree smell though.
I had particularly chosen the type we had as children as they smell the best. But hey, no smell is GOOD, really, isn't it? Isn't it? They only smell when they are dying and dropping needles.
Except, um, well, what are those green things on the floor, Balloon? Am I being a bit picky or are they needles? A LOT of needles. Hmmm . . . .
I watered the pot meticulously, to keep it alive. Oooh! I can smell something! Is it pine? Um no, it's the water in the pot gone manky. Can we empty it out like you do with a vase of flowers? Well, no, not unless you have a friendly giant on hand to pick the tree up and hold it for you while you empty the pot.
By Christmas Day it had been renamed "The Christmas Stick." I shouted at anyone who brushed against it. "Mind the bloody tree!" was my catchphrase that year.
Despite this, the tree kindly saved a few thousand brown needles to decorate the carpets and stick in our hands as we took it down.
I can honestly say that tree gave us the most pleasure when we:
a. were thinking about it
b. were choosing it
c. were burning it
The year afterwards we went back to our trusty artificial one, and it looks mighty fine.
And this year I have discovered that Yankee Candles do one which almost makes the house smell like you have a real Christmas Tree. That's from a distance - close up it smells like Toilet Duck. But hey - life is full of disappointments. 