He just got home and we talked about it. I've been trying to talk to him about this for a while but it has always ended in a row, but tonight it didn't, partly because his team won by 3 goals I suspect!
We worked out what it was. Since we moved for his job he has also been travelling more for work- it's gone from being away for a couple of nights away a month to being a couple of nights away a week, plus usually at least one early start (6am) and one late finish (9 or 10pm) as well. So we have been seeing one another a lot less. And when we do see one another he is usually too knackered to do anything but watch the TV. Last couple of months there has also been work stuff on either Saturday or Sunday a couple of weekends a month too.
I have just been miserable missing him when he is away. He said he is finding it hard too. So he feels he doesn't have any time at all and I've been feeling like he doesn't have any time for me. So I think it was easier to talk to him tonight because he'd had some time for himself today too.
We got so wrapped up in being in a new town and trying to cope with that (moved house twice in last 12 months, not knowing where anything is, not knowing anyone here) we just kind of didn't notice how much the extra travelling was creeping up and making a difference. There's also no rhyme and reason to it- it could be any night he's away or back late and out early. He does normally know the week before, but there's no chance of a routine.
I didn't mind it being football (I go with him a couple of times a year and we watch it on TV together a lot, well, we used to) and I didn't even really mind the money, I just wanted his attention. The coat cheered me up no end and then the ladies gave me some attention so bingo, I bought the coat. I think a bit of it was "hey, look at me" to him, either through the coat or spending 5 times what I would normally spend when I get something. Also think him being away all day this Saturday just made me be like "now, this needs sorted now".
The coat does look a lot better than the photo. It has a blue metallic thread though the material part so it's a bit sparkly too. It's going to sound weird that when I tried it on I was also wearing a white, turquoise and purple paisley scarf, a navy top and a navy skirt with navy & bronze sequins and a pair of navy and silver glitter knee high wellies. Plus I will be 40 next year and I'm a 5' 4" size 12 not a skinny youngster. Sounds totally nuts but it kinda works. And he likes it. Turns out he gave me his credit card today so I would do something like that as he felt a bit guilty being away all day. I kind of knew that I think but thought he was expecting me to spend £20 not £145.
We're going to make sure we spend some time at least one night a week doing something where we have to switch off the TV (we'll just get the supermarket to deliver the shopping to make the time), and he is going to organise a night out for us both every now and then. He's dropping hints about some kind of meal out before Xmas. The new work pattern has ended up in a promotion and a bit more money so it will be worth making it work in the long run. It's not the worst problem in the world, given so many people don't have jobs and he's secure there and doing well.