I just wanted to gage opinion on this one. I realise I can be a bit over sensitive at times so I'm not sure if I'm overreacting.
Apologies it's also a bit long! I did also find the whole situation a bit scary so I'd also be interested to get other people's thoughts on how they would have handled this situation in case something like this happens again.
Last night I went to an evening work event. I live about a half hour train ride out of town and took a commuter train back at the end of the evening.
The train was crowded but I got a seat. I'd had a long, tiring week at work and just started quietly reading a book and relaxing. Just before the train was about to depart a crowd of people jumped on and a middle aged man came and sat next to me. He had clearly had a few drinks and was a bit loud and jolly. I wouldn't have at immediately thought he was very drunk though.
He was having a bit of banter with another man who had got a seat a few rows down who looked like he was his friend - although I wasn't sure. A group of about six middle aged women also ran on at the same time. They all seemed a bit tipsy and appeared to have been at a separate work do.
Some sat in neighbouring seats and stood in the gangways. I sat quietly reading my book and was vaguely aware the man was talking to the women.
At one point I realised they were all staring at me and laughing.
I looked up and the man said he wanted me to stand up so one of the group of women in the gangway could have my seat. He said this was because he wanted to sit next to her. He didn't say this in a bantering or jokey way. It seemed quite aggressive and rude.
The woman didn't look obviously infirm and didn't seem of desperate need of sitting down. So I calmly said that if he thought the lady needed to sit, he could perhaps give up his own seat as there were no others free.
The man then launched an angry rant at me saying repeatedly I was 'stupid' and a 'snob'. The whole carriage was silent apart from the women who seemed to be egging him on, giggling as the man raged on at me.
I have never experienced anything like it before.
It was as though he went from 0 to 160mph in the space of a second, in terms of aggression.
My heart was pounding but I did my best to speak calmly and assertively. I said wasn't sure why he was shouting at me as I'd just been quietly reading my book. He shouted loudly at me several times 'to shut the fuck up' and said repeatedly that I was 'stupid'. He said that 'everyone around me was laughing and joking and I was sitting reading my book because I was a stupid snob'.
What horrified me the most was that of the whole packed carriage not a single person intervened. The women just sat laughing during his entire unprovoked 5 minute rant. I felt as though I was cornered by these people - I was sitting next to the window and I would have had to slide across him to change seats.
My phone was out of battery and I felt a bit threatened. I felt the only way of stopping it escalating further was to try and disarm him. So I smiled at him. I apologised if I had inadvertently offended him but said I hadn't realised he had been trying to involve me in a conversation. He then did calm down, admitted he had had 'a few drinks at a work do' and started apologising profusely to me and shook my hand.
He said his friend, who at no point had intervened, was a policeman. He said he had what seemed to be quite a good job and then started doling out career advice to me! I was very vague about my actual job. When he got off the train with his friend, the previously silent women started being nice to me, saying things like. 'I bet you're relieved he's got off..!' 'Don't worry we heard and saw everything!'
I was shaking though as soon as I got off the train I burst into tears.
From the information he gave me it's probably quite possible to track him down. Should I just notch it up to experience - he did apologise after all? Or should I speak to the police or possibly even his employer? If they're letting staff get into that kind of state at work events shouldn't they be made aware of the impact?