To throw the Xbox out the window?

[GreenEyedMonster14]

DO goes through stages of being on his Xbox constantly. He is currently going trough one of those stages and it's driving me mad. Every evening he'll do the dishes while I'm putting the kids to bed. He always finishes before me and will come into the living room and play his Xbox. I do all the night waking so I have to go to bed early. He always stays up 1/2/3 hours longer than me so will sometimes be on the Xbox for up to 5 hours in the evening.

I do ask him to come off sometimes so that we can talk/watch TV together and he says 'once I've done this bit.' 40 mins later he will still be on.

The evenings I don't mind so much because I suppose I can just find other things to do. It's at the weekend that annoys me.

Our DC are 1 and 3 and of course playing in the living room and walking in front of the TV/making noise/ trying to interact with DP.

He just ignores us all and moans if DC get in the way of the TV. It's also down to me to watch the DC. I would never just sit here and read a book ect, just ignoring everyone. It's just rude.

He's been on the Xbox for nearly an hour this morning and if I didn't make him come off in another hour or two, he would stay on all day. (I've tested this before. It got to 8 hours before I gave in.)

If course I'm not actually going to throw the Xbox out the window by AIBU to think DP is on the Xbox too much?

He would buy another if it broke. Not that I would break it.

So he doesn't care that he's psychologically affecting his children? What are his good qualities?!

He doesn't believe I. That sort of thing. I'm not sticking up for him but they don't actually sit there watching. They don't even glance at it. I know that's what he'll say so Thera no point bringing it up.

This would annoy me and upset me. He sounds very inconsiderate. What do the DC think?

I remember a thread where a MNter DID throw her son's Xbox out of the window. I think she was trying to get him to stop playing and he swore at her IIRC. It must have felt great to hear the thing crashing although she did express a tiny bit of remorse.

If you don't want to do this, I'd try timing him and letting him know how long he spends on it on a given day, as per pp. If he's not rattled by that, then sabotage... yes, "lose" some pieces or accidentally spill some tea or rum sauce or vomit or a corrosive agent over it.

He's a selfish arse. Christ I'm ill atm and would like nothing better than to curl up under a quilt and play for hours but I can't because I have kids and a house to run. No way would I allow my youngest to glimpse the games I play and I wouldn't have gta in the house.

What you're saying is you don't see the problem where the kids are concerned but you're more bothered about how it affects you?

Then you have a choice. Make him relocate the X box to another part of the house where he can hole up or kick him and his machine out the front door.

It doesn't sound as though he would be missed tbh he's not involved in his family life anyway.

Sorry my last post was a bit jumbled. I do care about the affects on the DC. DP is the one who doesn't think it has any affect on them.

I hate the fact that family time is just him on his Xbox or phone (but don't get me started on that!)

I just want to actually sit and have a conversation with him. And for him to not be constantly telling the kids to move out of the way of the TV.

Tell him if he doesn't want to participate in family life then he can go and live elsewhere.

This makes me so sad :(

I had a similar problem although not to the extent that your DH has taken things.

Initially I implemented rules. I have a 12 year old so the rules applied to him too. Absolutely no violent or unsuitable games to be played during the little ones waking hours. This was from the day he was born (2 years ago).

Now DH has been told he can't play any games at all. He was opting out of family life by playing pc games with headphones in so the little one 'wouldn't know'.

I lost my rag over it. Told him he was addicted. It was us or the games.

He chose us. So for 5 weeks now he hasn't played a single game. He's talking about selling his laptop.

Things feel much nicer now. Much much nicer.

Time for an ultimatum maybe?

DH had other reasons why he couldn't say no to my ultimatum. But essentially, he had to chose between growing up or losing his family.

You could let him read this thread, so he could see how unreasonable he is?

I am unlurking to share this.
I definitely do not think you are being unreasonable OP. I have come close many times to wanting to take a hammer to the damn things!

I have been through this situation and out the other side. I feel so lucky that my OH has managed to break his habit (consoles and phone games). What instigated him giving up gaming was the effect it was having on our 7 year old who was starting to get hooked. I have spent so many nights by myself when he was gaming because he couldn't help himself. Not to mention him getting angry when he was stuck on games, couldn't complete levels etc. At one point he actually said that playing the xbox was far better than anything else he had to do. Ouch for me. But when our son was getting more and more obsessed and our relationship was breaking down, he was finally convinced things needed to change. After a lot of arguing and discussion we knew it would have to be all or nothing. So he got rid. Every last console and game. Gone.

He is a changed man now. He has 1 game on his phone, but will go for days without bothering with it anymore. Things are so very different in our home now he is actually mentally present as well as physically.
To help him over come this whole thing he started a blog. He wants to raise awareness for screen addiction and help other people 'unplug'. I will share it here and if I am not allowed then please delete this. It just makes me so angry that families are getting ruined by this. Just because it is seen as fun or a hobby it is accepted as being okay. But it really is very frustrating and sad for those affected. As seen from this thread it is truly wrecking lives. icanonlyshowyouthedoor.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/follow-white-rabbit.html

It's easy to say but not easy to do- you need to issue an ultimatum. His responses to what you have said are dismissive and show zero compromise or regard to YOUR feelings. From what you are saying- other than money what is he contributing? The Xbox isn't the problem- the fact is he hasn't grown up and has no respect for you and your children is the problem. You are worth far more.

Joining you on the rant. My DH is an avid gamer (currently finishing off 360 games as he's getting a new xbox1 for Christmas). I am 29 weeks pregnant, work full time and he has recently been made redundant. He spends his days gaming and not doing housework!!!

I have considered subtle ways of making the xbox not work e.g. removing the fuse but don't think this will stop him for long.

Am wondering how to make sure I don't end up in your boat when LO arrives.

Do you have somewhere else the xbox could go? We will still have a spare room and I have told DH that this is where the new xbox must go once baby arrives.

Have you tried just going out and leaving him to look after the DC?

He is showing no regard for you or your kids - do you think he realises that his gaming is damaging all his relationships?

Read your post to DH as a way of encouraging him to talk about it and he felt the evening gaming was reasonable (and what he and I do but then I read a lot). He did say though that if the children were around then it wouldn't be right to be gaming as they should come first -and certainly not inappropriate games (at least until their old enough to be helpful?!).

Part of the problem is that gaming is quite addictive and it can be hard to just leave a game as you sometimes can't just stop and save but have to go to a specific place or finish a mission first.

Would you be up for compromising about the time e.g. he can game as he likes in the evenings but when the children are about (e.g. at the weekends) there is to be no gaming?