3.5 yo being led astray?

[LittleMilla]

My darling pfb is 3.5. He has a best mate, let's call him Jonny, who's quite a strong character and my DS is pretty happy to follow his lead on most things. Including being an utter shite.

DS1 isn't prefect and I'm under no illusions he is. However, having now got DS2 (18 months) I have realised that DS1 is pretty bloody good and certainly an anomoly amongst 3.5 year olds for the most part.

Now ( will try and keep it brief). His bestie (jonny) goes to the same pre-school as him and we also do a nanny-share with the younger babies. DS1 said to me on Wed morning when talking about pre-school that he'd like to play games XYZ but Jonny doesn't ever want to play these games, so they don't.

Having spoken to pre-school lot about my DS maybe playing with others, they've given me the overwhemlming impression they don't think it's a particularly healthy friendship for my DS. When jonny isn't there they "see a tially different side to DS: very funny, cheeky, much more of his personality". Plus more that I won't bore you with.

What do I do? They live down the road and we're all sort of intertwined. Liklihood is that the boys will go to primary together and I'm thinking of asking school (assuming they get in) that they're split between the two classes.

ABIU? Should I be worried at such a young age...really worried about DS1 being railroaded. He can be a complete shit bag but is fundementally a lovely boy.

Thanks whereismyhat we live 10 doors away from one another so there's a high chance they'll both get a place at close school. It's a two class intable so I;m inclined to ask school to split them should they both get a place, is that bad?

Your post makes me think not..

I really wouldn't worry too much at this stage. Neither of my eldest kids (now aged 7 and 9) are still friends with their best friends from their nursery class and they're all in the same class now. In fact, DS who is now 7, used to have real trouble with a little boy in nursery class. I'd worked in a playgroup with this little boy and knew he was really hard work. DS used to get upset at the very sight of him because he said he was mean to him. 4 years later and they are best friends. I've had him round for tea loads of times and he is a completely different child to the one he was aged 2 and 3. He's lovely, polite, well behaved and a pleasure to have over.

Meanwhile my 9 year old DD had a lovely friendship with a little boy when they were in nursery. He was a real sweetheart and they were so lovely together. They drifted apart and nowadays he's a really unpleasant kid. He's been in trouble for sending abusive messages over a chat app to other classmates and recently he bit a girl in their class.

The point of all this is, at 3.5 years old they are a work in progress. They change hugely over the course of primary school; they gain confidence, develop different interests and connect with people in a completely different way. It would be really unusual if your little boy's relationship with this child continues in the same vein throughout primary. Yes, request separate classes if the problem is still there come September but it'll probably sort itself out without your intervention.

I don't think it is bad if you think your son will benefit from it. My middle child has just stated school and they were very receptive to hearing parents views on class placement as it is also a two form entry. They'll still get to play together at break times but will just have a bit less time together during learning time. It's an ideal situation really.

Saying that, LingDiLong speaks a lot of sense.

I wouldn't worry too much. My DS was v good friends with a kid who was quite naughty in preschool and that friendship continued into reception and then they grew apart as reception went on. They've had very little to do with one another in the last 3 years (they're now 7) because they have different approaches to life. Once your DS and Jonny are in a class of peers, they'll gravitate to children they have things in common with - and in my experience, that means in groups where the balance of power is a shifting thing.