To want my kids to have the same nationality and accent as me?

[EvaLaDiva]

Bit of background: my DP and I are from different counties, both English speaking. We are currently living where I am from, but shortly relocating to where DP comes from for economic reasons. We will be quite a bit better off there, but we would be ok here. I would rather stay, naturally as it is home for me. But I realise we must do what is right for us all, and I do not think DP will ever settle and be happy here (lots of reasons, not least how difficult and intrusive my family is). And hopefully I can settle there. Anyhow, back to the title...I have this gut feel of sadness that our kids will grow up a different nationality to me, with a very different culture and sound completely different. DP does not care about this, which is ironic as we are going to his country. I know I am probably a bit U, but is it that strange to want your kids to share these things? Obviously I will show them my country too, but naturally it will never be as important to them. How do I overcome this feeling as I have given up on us being able to stay where I am from?

Oh, I entirely understand the sadness. DH and I are Irish, but live in England and have a toddler son, who is growing up with an English accent, and without our cultural references. Obviously, I talk Irish to him, play him trad music, read him Irish books, and get him over there as often as possible, but it's not the same. I like living in England, but I moved here as an adult, and I worry I'm depriving DS of something very rich we grew up taking for granted, without giving him much to replace it.

My kids have American accents. I've lived in the US 8 years and tbh I find kids speaking with English accents odd now, even though I still have a very English accent.

They do still have close ties to the UK and they can always move back there one day if they choose.

But I think they will have the same nationality, won't they, if they were born in your country? To me 'nationality' means citizenship, but maybe I'm misunderstanding what you mean. I think I would be unhappy too if I felt I had to change my children's nationality because we moved to another country. Otherwise they will always be 'tied' to your country by nationality, even if they never live there again. I have a friend born in Canada who has lived in the US since he was a child, yet he still 'feels' Canadian as well as American due to visits with family there, Canadian foods he learned to cook from his mother, love of hockey he learned from his dad. You will be able to give your kids traditions, love for your country's history, and a sense of 'belonging' through family history. And hopefully, visits 'home'.

I'm english with an american accent and my english relatives are forever telling me to talk properly and it bothers me, i a m speaking properly! So I think ynbu to be disappointed If they have diff accents but I'd not tell them it bothers you

DH is Danish and I identify myself as English, although born in Canada and raised in the UK during my formative years. I was relocated to the U.S. and met DH here. We were going to move back and it fell through because I couldnt fly while pregnant. The transfer then fell through. I was very upset to learn when I was pregnant with DD that my children would not be British. I get that rules are rules and for as long as there are open borders in the UK our children can live in the UK, however it isn't the same and I do resent that the authorities don't respect that I couldn't exactly choose where my parents lived when I was born.

Oh and DD has a weird accent. She says thing like mummy but then will water with an American accent. As long as she speaks clearly I don't mind what accent she has.

You did choose to have international children though. Or did you not make a free choice in who to have them with?

You can choose to see the benefits or dwell on what they don't get because of it, bit they are still your DC.

You did choose to have international children though. Or did you not make a free choice in who to have them with?

You can choose to see the benefits or dwell on what they don't get because of it, bit they are still your DC.

They will be your children and their own people with their own accents.
Myself and DP grew up a couple of miles apart have similar accents. Both DC born where we grew up but we moved county when they were young. Elder DC has new county accent, younger DC sounds like minor aristocracy with not one hint of the county. Both identify as being from this county but we are a multinational family ( the grand parents) and they also identify with and are proud of their GPs national roots too.
You raise them to know who their history and confident enough to choose their own future.

My parents are scottish and had my older brother and sister there. They moved to England when they were pregnant with me and had me and my sister. We all have scottish accents. We visted Scotland a lot but it has always been mentioned that I am more Scottish than the rest of them. I'm nearly 32, have lived in England most of my life apart from about 4 years in my 20'swhen I met my husband who I Scottish. I moved back to England and had two ds, who have only been to Scotland and handful of times but both have a Scottish accent.

Even if you move around in one country your children's accents will be different to yours!

My dear friends from university are from the south of England but live near Manchester and their children have (obviously) north west accents.

They will still share your culture, as long as you make the effort to introduce them to it. It's up to you.

Dd was born in a country which isn't mine, and we live in that country. She is British, like me, as well as having her father's nationality. She reads English books, watches English TV and is as fully immersed in UK culture as she can be whilst not living there.

It just takes a bit of positive effort from the parents.

I suspect that the issue is that you don't really want to move, and that you want your children to belong to your home as you do, and that the accents are a very obvious reminder that you will not be at home and that your children may not feel that your home is their home. I can totally understand your unhappiness.

dh and I have emigrated to Canada and dd has quite a strong Canadian accent. ds has a bit of a mix of English and Canadian and dh and I still sound pretty English (it's been six years). I don't have any issues with the accents, but the difference is that we both chose to move and have both chosen to stay and are looking forward to becoming Canadians as well as English. Our children will probably feel Canadian first and English second whilst we will obviously be the other way around.

My sister has an Aussie husband and they have lived in both countries. Sadly they both are very unhappy in their partner's country and it's been a real issue for them because it's not really resolvable. Yes it was their choice to get married, but neither could possibly have predicted how homesick they'd get over time.

I'm Polish and my ex husband is from Ghana. Despite living in England for 14 years I still have my accent and I always will have, although it has improved a bit.
My son has British nationality and accent, he also only speaks English. I love it.
I teach him mummy is from Poland, knows 'not English', as he calls it, and Poland has few different celebrations to England like Name Day and Santa' Day (extra occassions for presents, yay!).
What I am trying to say is your children are mixture of two cultures but their own people - teach them about both of your backgrounds, combine celebrations if they are different and try not to worry about their accent because what is accent these days.
All the best.