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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want the kitchen to myself?

21 replies

zeezeek · 05/12/2014 19:59

I love cooking. It is one of the few things that I do just for me, and when I cook, I like the kitchen to myself - no children helping, no mother helping. Just me, some cool music and a glass of wine. It is my way of relaxing and, frankly, when my children/husband/mother is in the kitchen with me - I do not feel relaxed - but stressed, annoyed, irritated.....you get the picture?

AIBU for just wanting my kitchen to myself? My mother says I am, and claims that she used to let me help her in the kitchen (which is, like most "motherly" things a figment of her PA imagination) and that I should allow the girls to. They are 7 and 4 and are really not interested. I wasn't interested in cooking until my 30s and, although I fully support everyone learning to cook - frankly, it's not too difficult and they are so young and why make them do something they aren't interested in?

Grrr.

Phew, rant over.

OP posts:
jugglingmonkey · 05/12/2014 20:04

Nope. I can't bear my DH in mine... He makes such a mess. It is awful. I'm sure it's his way of ensuring I do all the cooking.

elephantspoo · 05/12/2014 20:04

No YANBU. It's your fucking house. Your rules. If DH expects his meal cooked for him, he can at least entertain the kids and give you the space to get it done.

Hatespiders · 05/12/2014 20:54

I def don't want the kitchen to myself. I don't want to be in there at all. I hate cooking. Fortunately my dh loves to cook and HE likes the kitchen to himself.
I only cook now and then, but he prefers to do it.

zeezeek · 05/12/2014 21:40

Glad it's not just me! My mother ALMOST convinced me that I was being unreasonable as usual.

OP posts:
Ragwort · 05/12/2014 21:48

YANBU. Anyone else loathe those Lifestyle magazines where people make poncey comments about the 'kitchen being the heart of the home' or 'I love it when guests join me as I prepare dinner'.

I hate cooking when anyone else is watching, you can't slurp a couple of glasses of wine, taste the food, add a slug of tomato sauce or whatever Grin.

RabbitsarenotHares · 05/12/2014 22:01

Definitely not ur. friend of DPs stayed a few years ago and one decided to be helpful on evening. I HATED having her in the kitchen! And a friend of mine decided to start on dinner herself one evening and totally changed what I was planning. Guests are now told, on no uncertain terms, to stay away except to wash up!!!!!!

Janethegirl · 05/12/2014 22:52

YANBU I love cooking and chilling with a glass of wine after a hard days work. Enjoy!

Theorientcalf · 05/12/2014 22:55

YANBU. DH and I both love cooking, separately!

GooseRoasties · 05/12/2014 22:59

My dp is a chef...
I point blank refuse to cook when he's in the house because he cant help but try and help.... This includes adding extra bits or just plain not leaving the pot/pan/food alone.. It drives me mental...

On the other hand although dp is a good cook his use of 4 pans and various different kitchen equipment to cook a meal drives me insane also... I hate doing dishes and we do a I cook you wash rule in this house.

TimelyNameChangey · 05/12/2014 23:04

YANBU. I'm like you. It's very relaxing to cook and I don't let the DC in. It's too dangerous anyway as my kitchen is tiny. I do have times when I make cakes with them or cheese on toast or whatever....it's good for them to learn but if I'm making a proper something then no way!

KatieKatie1980 · 05/12/2014 23:09

I like to cook alone too. Certain things I will make with the kids...everything else on my own. I'm too paranoid they will get burnt etc.

I love that DP likes to cook too but using pretty much every damn utensil? Leaving the kitchen looking like we have been burgled? ...I had to clean penang sauce out of the toaster this morning :o lol..

ThrowAChickenInTheAir · 05/12/2014 23:14

Yaddnbu. I had to laugh at your dm's selective memory of the past too. My mother is the same and it drives me nuts.

Cherrychocolate · 05/12/2014 23:17

My DH is the cook in our house, and that is the way I like it!

If I do ever have to cook, then I don't mind the kids helping. My Mum farting around getting under my feet on the other hand.......

furcoatbigknickers · 05/12/2014 23:22

I'm with you. My 13 and 10 year olds sometimes cook but my 5 and 2 year old , er no. I do occasionaly make cakes with 5 year old.

RedSoloCup · 05/12/2014 23:25

Nobody comes in my kitchen when I'm cooking except DH but he just chats and is completely uninterested in what cooking stuff is happening.

My mum was the same.

Ihavenopigs · 06/12/2014 00:02

@elephantspoo
It's their fucking house. Their fucking rules.
Also 'DH expects his meal cooked for him'? Good on you for taking the opportunity to have a go at the Ops DH for no reason at all.

zeezeek · 06/12/2014 10:24

My DH can be a neanderthal in many ways - but he doesn't expect me to cook for him...however, as he does most of the childcare, housework etc and can't cook to save his life I really don't mind. It's better than cleaning the bathroom Smile

OP posts:
Idontseeanysontarans · 06/12/2014 10:42

YANBU, I've been known to throw people out of the kitchen before now.
Last Christmas Day almost ended in an Eastenders storyline - I was finishing off Christmas dinner with a small glass of wine and had a couple of pans on the hob. Now our cutlery drawer is directly beneath it. DH came in to find the bottle opener and because he couldn't immediately lay his hands on it decided to Tidy The Cutlery Drawer right there and then. Right in my bloody way Angry
I almost brained him with a frying pan tbh. My question of 'wtf are you doing?' Was met with 'won't be a sec love, just doing this'.
One of many reasons why the kitchen is my domain...
And I'm sorry but I detest baking with small children!

zeezeek · 06/12/2014 11:41

Idontseeanysontarans - I can only marvel at the fact you didn't put him in hospital!!

I'm also glad I'm not the only one who hates baking with small children (so pleased mine aren't interested).

OP posts:
Idontseeanysontarans · 06/12/2014 11:48

Zee it was damn close Grin
I used to be a nursery nurse and would bake with groups of 9 or 10 pre schoolers at a time - none of us liked doing it really and frankly I can cook but can't bake very well so my cakes never turnout particularly nice anyway - with a group of 3 year olds it was usually a bit of a disaster!
Baking with my own is just as bad, I just want to get it done and over with Blush

MissBattleaxe · 06/12/2014 11:48

YANBU. If you want to cook dinner right, secretly use ingredients one or all of them don't like, and still be on speaking terms with them all by tea time, then keep them out.

And I secretly can't stand cooking with kids either. I hide it though, and still let them, but it takes deep, deep reserves of patience.

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