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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To knock on someone's door at about half 8 at night?

56 replies

KeepAbreast · 05/12/2014 18:53

And if so, what would you say is the latest reasonable time?

Basically I ordered a parcel last week which, after a week of infuriating phone calls, I am told has been delivered to (well, left on the back doorstep of) a different address which sounds very similar and is a couple of streets away from mine.

Couriers have said their plan is to go and collect my parcel from this address Hmm and redeliver it to me. However, this will probably happen some time in 2046 if their service up to this point is anything to go by, and what will they do if they aren't in or refuse to hand it over?

So I want to go and see if I can pick it up myself. The only problem is it's a big parcel and I don't drive and have a baby DD, so I can't just pop over for it whenever. I took DD to the doctors in a taxi earlier via this address but nobody was in, so I'm assuming the occupant works or is otherwise out of the house a lot.

WIBU to send DP round on his way home at about 8.30/9pm tonight? I appreciate they may be ready for bed or have sleeping children but really, when am I supposed to catch them? The courier company will have no chance. DP is working even later tomorrow so can't go tomorrow unless I can cadge a lift from somebody or find someone to help me carry the parcel.

Sorry for the epic post!

OP posts:
ArsenicSoup · 05/12/2014 19:22

I think up to 9 is ok.

RoganJosh · 05/12/2014 19:22

I am a mega early to bed person but would consider anything up till nine to be reasonable. I'd ask DH if he could put a note through with your mobile number on to arrange a better time, if the don't answer.

LotsaDots · 05/12/2014 19:23

Not as unreasonable as they are for keeping your parcel which I'm assuming has your address on!

BackforGood · 05/12/2014 19:24

I think up until 9pm is fine too.

LotsaDots · 05/12/2014 19:26

Mind you, I'm cynical as we recently had a neighbour deny all knowledge of a parcel containing an iPhone meant for us,delivered to them when we weren't home.

EmmaGellerGreen · 05/12/2014 19:26

Assuming that you can see lights on downstairs its fine.

Loletta · 05/12/2014 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PortofinoVino · 05/12/2014 19:32

Of course it's fine. To suggest that you cannot knock on a door 'because the DC might be in bed' is ridiculous.

Laquitar · 05/12/2014 19:32

We wouldn't mind.
It is not midnight fgs.

Itsfab · 05/12/2014 19:33

Up to 8.30 would be fine

We had someone's parcel delivered to my address but was for a different number. They just did the scroll down to find address and didn't bother to check the number. We were more annoyed they took so long to walk across the road than the fact it was later in the evening.

Original poster
KeepAbreast · 05/12/2014 20:56

Lotsadots I did wonder about that! I have had parcels delivered for other addresses and always taken them round. I did open one by mistake as I was expecting something myself but they were understanding, as I would be. Although it is rather unwieldy (its a rug) so maybe they couldn't or didnt want to carry it - fair enough.

I wouldn't know what to do if they refused to hand it over or denied all knowledge! I don't actually have any proof, just what the couriers have told me.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 05/12/2014 21:28

Sometimes I think I'm living in a parallel universe!

People don't open the door when their children are asleep? What happens when you have friends round?

You are all adults, not children. Just because the children are in bed, it doesn't mean that you can't answer the door, ffs! Think back to when you were dating - you wouldn't have even left the house by that time!

timetoplay · 05/12/2014 21:30

I think it's fine if the lights were on. Put a note through with your number on it, asking if it's okay to come by at X time or can sort out one.

fairgame · 05/12/2014 21:37

I don't like people knocking when ds is in bed because it wakes him up. He has sn and gets very anxious if people are at the door when he is in bed. He then worries and finds it difficult to settle. I had a spate of chuggers knocking past 830 and iy wasn't good for ds when he had school the next day and was up late trying to settle. Nice to know im unreasonable and ridiculous tho.

longestlurkerever · 05/12/2014 21:42

Chuggers at that time are annoying fair game but it's all about the relative inconvenience isn't it? The OP is without her parcel through no fault of her own and it isn't unreasonable to briefly knock, apologise for disturbing their evening, take the parcel and slink back off into the night. I wouldn't think twice if someone did that to me and it would be preferable to storing a rug for days longer than necessary, or having to text back and make an arrangement to be in at a particular time.

MoreBonkersThanBonkers · 05/12/2014 21:49

I would think it too late normally but in this case I think it's ok. They have the parcel so they should be expecting a call at some point. I would knock if there were lights on, apologise and be very polite.

It's a one off so I think it's ok.

Dogsmom · 05/12/2014 22:01

I wouldn't go that late, you don't know their routines, we have a toddler who is in bed by 6.30 and dogs who would go ballistic at the door and wake her.

I agree with the note.

twizzleship · 06/12/2014 00:18

did you do it? Smile

steppemum · 06/12/2014 00:29

wouldn't bother me at all. Probably wouldn't after 9.

NewNamePlease · 06/12/2014 01:47

I would both knock on a door or open my door until about 11pm. After that I'd be a bit wary, depends who it is.
Really always very confused by mumsnet not answering doors/phones when they are awake and in, I think it's very rude!

AcrossthePond55 · 06/12/2014 03:31

I'd knock if I saw lights on downstairs or heard telly or something inside, but if it's dark I'd leave a note with my phone number to arrange pick up.

Bogeyface · 06/12/2014 03:36

If the lights are on then knock and if they're not then dont. Always worked for me :)

LadyCybilCrawley · 06/12/2014 04:17

I must live in parallel universe - I have had neighbors knock on door at 10 pm and ask for eggs (they were baking biscuits for school the next day), 9.30 pm for parcel left by accident, 8.30 pm for a cup of sugar (literally I loved that one) - I live in middle America though - it all seems perfectly reasonable to me - if the lights are on in the living areas then I beleive it's completely fine to knock

#knockandbefree

SoonToBeSix · 06/12/2014 05:24

8.30 is fine, be very surprised if they still have your parcel though.

ChippingInAutumnLover · 06/12/2014 05:38

I really, really wonder how some of you cope from day to day. Knocking a door at 8:30 is rude? A problem? Really?. 8:30???

Unless you have a child with sn who will not resettle then yes, you are being ridiculous. If you do have a child with sn and this is an issue then you should put a note on your door asking people not to ring the bell or knock after x PM. If they do, then yes it's rude.

But normally, with normal people who aren't afraid of their own shadows, 8:30 is fine.

8:30. Bloody hell.