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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Oh I could have just slapped her.

53 replies

NancyPurple · 05/12/2014 18:16

I'm having a bit of a crap time at the moment. I found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago but have since been back and forth to hospital including some surgery as they suspect it is ectopic. Or I may of miscarried. Either way there's a very miniscule chance that this will result in a baby. As I type this I'm waiting for my blood test results to know what will happen next.

I went to playgroup today with DS, which is a particularly close knit session aimed at a certain group so it is the same group of people every week and we've all become familiar with eachother.

A girl that goes there with her toddler and newborn was there today, and it was just us. I was speaking with the lady who works there about my current situation and this girl joined in the conversation. I explained to her but said it was most likely that it wouldn't progress. She replied 'yeah it probably won't. Ah well atleast I can be the only one with a new baby for longer'

AIBU to think she is selfish and mean and not want to go back there again? I'm so pissed off. She has always been only interested in herself and always only talks about Herself and her DC's but FGS.

I realise I sound a bit whiny and annoying. I'm feeling sorry for myself today and needed a rant.

Sad
OP posts:
AlpacaYourThings · 05/12/2014 19:19

What a vicious bitch.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation, OP. Flowers

I had a very similar experience as you in my first pregnancy. They knew it wasn't a viable pregnancy but weren't sure of it was ectopic or I was just miscarrying really slowly. This went on for 1 whole month.

If someone had have said that to me, I think my emotions and hormones would have led me to slap punch them.

Well done for rising above it.

redexpat · 05/12/2014 19:32

Im also going wirh stupid rather than vindictive. Shes probably kicking herself. Thanks

Original poster
NancyPurple · 05/12/2014 19:36

Thankyou all for your kind words.

Thanks Alpaca, I dread the thought of having to live this for a whole month.

OP posts:
FryOneFatManic · 05/12/2014 19:36

What a nasty cow! Shock

Sorry about your sad news, OP Thanks

Monten · 05/12/2014 19:45

What a silly cow. Re. What you said about worrying you're making a big deal over nothing - I think this whole 'oh well, it's very common line' people trot out is the cause of that. It's not unusual, but it's not 'common' and that doesn't make it any less painful to lose a much longed for baby. it's a horrible horrible thing to go through. I hope it's a good outcome but if its not, happier times will be ahead Flowers

AlpacaYourThings · 05/12/2014 20:04

Sorry, I hope I haven't added to your stress levels. They did say it was unusual how long it went on for me.

Fingers crossed you know what's going on soon. Personally, I found the limbo of not knowing & endless tests were even worse than the sad news I got at the end. Flowers

BlinkAndMiss · 05/12/2014 20:23

How awful OP, she sounds like an ignorant, insensitive bitch. Some people have no idea about how their thoughtless comments affect others. You are not making a big deal out of nothing, you are in the middle of a living hell and you shouldn't be confronted with stupid bitches like her.

What did the leader say? Did she hear? I'd maybe mention to her that you were upset by the comment so she knows that this is a sensitive situation, that way if the stupid, heartless bitch pipes up again then she might say something to her at the time.

OP I hope everything works out ok for you.

LondonRocks · 05/12/2014 20:25

She's a fucking knob.

apotatoprintinapeartree · 05/12/2014 20:31

he sounds very daft and young to me.
Some people can be thoughtless OP.
Maybe be careful who you talk to as well, I learned this the hard way and personal stuff is only aired to friends and family now.

So sorry you are going through this, some Thanks for you.

timetoplay · 05/12/2014 20:35

What a vile person. I really hope you are okay OP.

dancestomyowntune · 05/12/2014 20:35

Flowers for you. Please don't let this woman make you feel any worse than I am sure your current situation is making you feel. She is insensitive and rude and not worth thinking about.

I hope you get a positive outcome. From what you have written it sounds unlikely, but I've been there myself and when I thought all was lost I was inconsolable, only to discover that baby was fighting away in there.

bananaramadramallama · 05/12/2014 20:42

You're absolutely not making a big deal out of nothing, not at all.
She was a dick and does not deserve your time, energy or tears.

Flowers for you xx

foslady · 05/12/2014 22:17

Slightly stunned that anyone can be so insensitive and cruel without even realising just how awful she has been.

She would have deserved everything she got. I hope the lady who works there let her know just how bad her comments were

GinFace · 05/12/2014 22:21

I think she goes beyond stupid and / or insensitive. No decent human being would say what she did.

Flowers and a hug for you, OP.

BiscuitMillionaire · 05/12/2014 22:28

I don't think she was being vicious, as in trying to hurt you. I think she's just one of those people who is utterly self-centered and insensitive to the feelings of those around them. I would have wanted to slap her too.

Sorry you're going through such a horrible time.

Corygal · 05/12/2014 22:30

That's such a bewilderingly stupid remark it really isn't worth taking seriously. I imagine the creature has no friends, and family who give her a wide berth to boot.

You poor thing, now is the time to take care of yourself. Good luck with the test results and hope things get a bit easier from now on.

Andrewofgg · 05/12/2014 22:42

Nancy please consider yourself bear-hugged by your big cyber-brother. That is a truly dreadful thing to say. Flowers to you.

Choogalooga · 05/12/2014 23:10

She's not selfish or mean. She's utterly vile. Do not however let one utter bitch put you off going to the group. Just ignore her. Don't even say anything back. She's not worth it.

I have everything crossed for you that you do get good news. X

SoleSource · 05/12/2014 23:58

no. You are not making a big deal out of nothing. She is an insensitive arsehole. Don't sit next to her and give her the cold shoulder as much as possible. Confide in a friend in reality too if you can. I feel for you I really do. The fact you fought back your tears and didn't go ape shit was very brave of you but don't turn this inward and blame yourself none of this is your fault of course.

I am here anytime you want to chat in PM OK?

What a worrying time for you. She is thick as shit imo.

You'll get lots of support here my lovely Thanks

rockybalboa · 06/12/2014 00:06

What a stupid fucking cow. I wouldn't stop going but would prepare yourself to pull her up pronto next time she says something so utterly thoughtless. People like her need to be told IMO.

dottytablecloth · 06/12/2014 03:57

I genuinely astounded at the amount of people who think the world revolves around them.

YANBU- what a rude, thoughtless and emotionally immature person.

However, don't allow it to eat at you, try to let it go and have the knowledge that you would never say that to anyone.

ChippingInAutumnLover · 06/12/2014 04:15

It's easy to think of something to say now, but not so easy at the time is it! You showed remarkable restraint not slapping her into next week.

Don't let it stop you going back though, just completely blank her. And feel free to repeat her stupid comment to others.

Laura0806 · 06/12/2014 17:36

sounds like shes a complete vacuous airhead. Hope you get some good news x

Corabell · 06/12/2014 22:51

What a vile person - and what a disgusting, self important statement to make.

I'm very sorry you are going through this.Flowers

misskangaandroo2014 · 06/12/2014 22:58

Really -she's horrid, try to avoid her- but don't let that cow drive you away from what might be a source of support.
The uncertainty is a horrific time. Of course you're justifiably concerned.
Thanks
Completely jokingly. Can you find a new mum to drag along to oust her from her 'position' that means so much?