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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to knock some sense into dumb ass parents???

17 replies

jimineycrick3t · 05/12/2014 09:55

Dd 5 came home from school yesterday very upset because she got into trouble for pushing another Dc, so after finding out why she pushed the other Dc (A group of girls were making fun of her...the same group of girls which have been mentioned several times before) I explain why its not good to push, to tell the teacher etc etc.

Then this morning Dd was very perky happily waiting in line to go into class when one of the Dc from yesterday tells her that her dad has told her that if Dd is nasty today she has got to push her over!

I mean WTF??? Any other time I would take it with a pinch of salt but Dc's dad was actually stood right next to me smirking as if waiting for a response!

Soooo Dd's perky mood turned into her sobbing her heart out as she went in.....roll on christmas holidays!

I just told her to stay away..that way NOBODY can be nasty.

AIBU to actually want to belt the knob head for being a complete dick???

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 05/12/2014 09:58

I think you all so

SaucyJack · 05/12/2014 09:58

Und as bad as each other.

Shakirasma · 05/12/2014 10:00

YABU. Your attitude towards this man is horribly aggressive, because he gave his physically assaulted DD some advise based on the limited information she will have provided him with.

SoMuchForSubtlety · 05/12/2014 10:01

I think it's sad that parents teach their children that violence is a good solution to a problem. Apart from being distinctly antisocial it shows quite a lack of imagination.

In response, since the dad was standing there, I'd tell your DD that violence never solves anything it just creates more problems, although some very stupid unpleasant people think it's a suitable way to behave.

KingJoffreysHasABigWhiteBeard · 05/12/2014 10:01

You all sound equally bad.

swarley · 05/12/2014 10:03

How are they all as bad as each other? One parent says no shoving and tell the teacher, the other says push over the child. I think it's obvious that the op is being a good parent.

DoraGora · 05/12/2014 10:04

I wouldn't have been surprised. I believe that some people get a leg up in the existential arsehole department because their parents have been card-carrying, practising arseholes all their lives.

Mind you, they do serve as excellent examples of what a twat looks like and sounds like. You can use them as a constant reference point.

ghostyslovesheep · 05/12/2014 10:08

you are blowing it all out of proportion - I bed he just said 'oh just push her back' ...not the best advice but he hardly told his daughter to beat yours up now did he

calm down a bit !

WorraLiberty · 05/12/2014 10:08

He's basically telling his child to stand up for herself

Yes, he should probably tell her to tell a teacher if your DD pushes her over, but some parents go with the "Push them back twice as hard" advice.

Zucker · 05/12/2014 10:09

Your child pushed his child over yesterday. (Regardless of whatever circumstances surround the event)

It sounds like he made one of those off the cuff not quite perfect parenting comments. "If she pushes you today push her back"

I don't think it warrants this escalation really AIBU to actually want to belt the knob head for being a complete dick???

Shakirasma · 05/12/2014 10:09

Hey are as bad as each other because the dad is a dick for encouraging physical retaliation, but the OP is the one who is ranting about him being a dumbass parent and wanting to belt him.

ThereIsACarInTheKitchen · 05/12/2014 10:09

How are they as bad as each other? The OP isn't encouraging her DD to push and in fact told her it was wrong and told her to tell the teacher next time. What exactly is wrong with that?

ThereIsACarInTheKitchen · 05/12/2014 10:11

Actually come to think of it, my parents always told me to hit back but school told us not to and just to tell a teacher. If this other child pushes back then she will likely be in trouble too so really not the best advice.

DoraGora · 05/12/2014 10:12

Well, maybe. But, then some parents name their male children Marion, so that they'll grow up tough, having fought their way through school. I think some children do really well to have grown up at all, considering who it was who brought them into the world.

BarbarianMum · 05/12/2014 10:38

On a seperate note, if your dd is consisistently being teased by the same group of children, you need to speak to the teacher asap. And make sure each and every instance is recorded, in case you need to resort to their bullying policy later on (hopefully it won't come to this).

blackheartsgirl · 05/12/2014 10:39

Well I went through my whole school life being bullied for being a grass. My parents attitude was run and tell a teacher everytime I was picked on or shoved or punched. Destroyed my confidence completely.

My dc are told to tell a teacher first, if the problem persists and they get shoved or hit again then they are to push back. Never start it. Oh and I come down hard on bullying and if my dc have ever got pushed as a result of their name calling then it serves them right, and they get punished for it by me and I back the school if needed. That's only happened twice with ds. Being autistic he struggled with boundaries and punched a boy very hard in the stomach in year 6. Nipped in the bud very quickly and I made him apologise personally to the boy and his mum.

I will probably get flamed. I just want my DC to go through what I did

blackheartsgirl · 05/12/2014 10:40

DONT want my DC to go through what I did. Bloody auto correct

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