Occasional poster, heavy lurker & for this, namechanger.
I have a nine month old DC. I had a really good pregnancy & thoroughly enjoyed being pregnant. It all went well & I had very little discomfort & TBH mostly had good experiences with midwives, GP, & gynaes. I wouldn't mind being pregnant again & may even go so far as to say that I would like to be.
I don't have any concerns with raising an only child but still think that DC would truly benefit from a sibling. DP feels so too.
But --- I have really not enjoyed the time since DC was born. We have bonded well & think DC is grand (& DC thinks me grand too) & like having DC in our life but I struggle with how overwhelming it is & how stressful & how I have almost disappeared from my own life. I know I have PND (a history of irregular D episodes so I can recognise some aspects that are similar) but have not taken meds (although offered by my GP) because I am coping okay in comparison to having previously been on meds for depression & have a good relationship with DC. DC is happy mostly & healthy, & I am not suicidal or anything. I have had some health issues since the birth (totally unrelated to DC or birth) so that probably also has an impact on my state of mind.
From friends & books & family & so on I know the first 18to24 months is the hardest & hate the thought of going through another 9 months of this 24hrs a day of caring job (even though DP shares a good 30-40% of the caring load). DC is cute & I love seeing the development but I hate DC's helplessness. It doesn't go away just changes in its nature as DC gets older.
So I also cannot imagine going through this AGAIN with having another DC irrespective of how big or small the age gap will be! I think it may break me completely.
My question is --- will taking anti-depressants actually make me want to do this again? Will all the feeding & cleaning & sleepless nights truly just not bother me anymore? Or not bother me enough anymore that I would feel happy enough to easily cope with having another DC & doing all of it over again?
If you have taken anti-depressants specifically for PND, did they really change your whole view of the world, or did they just help you cope better or get through the bad patch until DC were much older?
Posted here because people who have gotten over PND don't really frequent the current threads on mental health IME. Maybe for extra clarity or honesty from anyone who did not suffer from PND too.
Thnx for any replies.