Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if anti-depressants for PND changed your whole mindset about being a parent, or just help you cope with it better?

27 replies

ohsocrispyduck · 05/12/2014 06:30

Occasional poster, heavy lurker & for this, namechanger.
I have a nine month old DC. I had a really good pregnancy & thoroughly enjoyed being pregnant. It all went well & I had very little discomfort & TBH mostly had good experiences with midwives, GP, & gynaes. I wouldn't mind being pregnant again & may even go so far as to say that I would like to be.
I don't have any concerns with raising an only child but still think that DC would truly benefit from a sibling. DP feels so too.
But --- I have really not enjoyed the time since DC was born. We have bonded well & think DC is grand (& DC thinks me grand too) & like having DC in our life but I struggle with how overwhelming it is & how stressful & how I have almost disappeared from my own life. I know I have PND (a history of irregular D episodes so I can recognise some aspects that are similar) but have not taken meds (although offered by my GP) because I am coping okay in comparison to having previously been on meds for depression & have a good relationship with DC. DC is happy mostly & healthy, & I am not suicidal or anything. I have had some health issues since the birth (totally unrelated to DC or birth) so that probably also has an impact on my state of mind.
From friends & books & family & so on I know the first 18to24 months is the hardest & hate the thought of going through another 9 months of this 24hrs a day of caring job (even though DP shares a good 30-40% of the caring load). DC is cute & I love seeing the development but I hate DC's helplessness. It doesn't go away just changes in its nature as DC gets older.
So I also cannot imagine going through this AGAIN with having another DC irrespective of how big or small the age gap will be! I think it may break me completely.
My question is --- will taking anti-depressants actually make me want to do this again? Will all the feeding & cleaning & sleepless nights truly just not bother me anymore? Or not bother me enough anymore that I would feel happy enough to easily cope with having another DC & doing all of it over again?
If you have taken anti-depressants specifically for PND, did they really change your whole view of the world, or did they just help you cope better or get through the bad patch until DC were much older?
Posted here because people who have gotten over PND don't really frequent the current threads on mental health IME. Maybe for extra clarity or honesty from anyone who did not suffer from PND too.
Thnx for any replies.

OP posts:
RosieProbert · 07/12/2014 11:05

Just coming back to this thread - I've had a really bad night and am up sitting in our office having a cry whilst DH tries to sleep with dd upstairs.

I too feel fear about the future and am hoping that the ad's just take the edge off.

Asking for help is a big step and I'm so glad I took it. Now that people know I can be more open.

It really helps of you've got a good HV / community midwife

TheAuthoress · 07/12/2014 12:21

I agree with livelablove that you should try the ADs and see how you feel. Your DS is still so young, so there's no need to think about having another baby right now, you can put it to the back of your mind for at least another year and still have time to have another child who'll be close in age.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread