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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think you don't threaten other people's children with Father Christmas not coming?

18 replies

WD41 · 04/12/2014 23:33

DD is 3. She's not usually one for public meltdowns but today she had a horrendous tantrum in Sainsburys because I wouldn't buy doughnuts. Think lying on the floor screaming etc.

3 separate people all said the same thing to her when passing - Father Christmas won't come if you're naughty (or words to that effect).

We don't go in for the whole naughty / nice thing - Father Christmas is unconditional and I don't like using him as a bribe for good behaviour.

I know that these people were probably only trying to help (I didn't say anything of course) and tbh I doubt DD was paying them much attention. But back home once she'd calmed down I told her that he would always come no matter what.

AIBU to think you shouldn't say it to a stranger's child?

OP posts:

WineWineWine · 04/12/2014 23:35

I think its a horrible thing to say to any child.

LilyPapps · 04/12/2014 23:38

God, this is my mil. Her grandparenting consists entirely of threatening children with FC not coming /the policeman coming to take them away to jail/Jackie Dark coming after them with his big black bag for bad boys and girls.

LittleBairn · 04/12/2014 23:42

YANBU I despise the whole 'good list' crap.

BeCool · 04/12/2014 23:42

Well there IS a naughty list you know.

Seriously I don't think it's a big deal and at this time of year it's a pretty go to thing to say.

My dd us 3 and very stroppy- several people have said this to her already this yeat

Original poster

WD41 · 04/12/2014 23:42

These people were all older so perhaps it's a generational thing?

I just hate the idea of a child feeling anxious that he might not come because they got overtired and couldn't control themselves.

OP posts:

DomiKatetrix · 04/12/2014 23:45

I wouldn't say it to a strangers child, purely because you don't know how that child reacts to attention from a stranger.

But for the saying, it doesn't bother me. I will probably tell DC when old enough to understand that FC is watching when they're acting up.

LadyLuck10 · 04/12/2014 23:47

It's not right to tell someone else's child this. However as for this being used on children, I see no problem. There is a naughty list.

Fanfeckintastic · 04/12/2014 23:48

Oh I'm feeling really bad now, my 3 year old DD had her first public meltdown today and I was bloody thankful for the fear inflicting passers by!

hippo123 · 04/12/2014 23:48

I think both you and your dd may have to get used to it to be honest. The santa who came round the houses here with the rotary club was saying the same to all the kids out tonight. they were hanging onto every word! that pnp video had santa checking his naughty or good book the other year didn't it? All the else were shown to be all anxious whilst some machine decided if you had been good enough for a visit that year.

hippo123 · 04/12/2014 23:50

elves!

Amy106 · 05/12/2014 00:52

YANBU. Sorry to hear about the tantrum. I am sure that was no fun for either of you and comments from strangers are not helpful.

Original poster

WD41 · 05/12/2014 12:06

Not helpful at all! Thankfully she is generally well behaved in public (it's at home where we have trouble!) so hopefully she won't keep hearing this message from strangers.

OP posts:

Alisvolatpropiis · 05/12/2014 13:17

It wouldn't bother me, particularly.

Notmuchhaschanged · 05/12/2014 13:24

Who the fuck is jackie dark!!!!! Tell me more!

BertieBotts · 05/12/2014 13:29

It's a pretty normal thing to say especially for the older generation. I don't say it myself but don't think it's going to be horribly damaging for them to hear it once in a while. I wouldn't go out of your way to try and counteract it, either.

Honestly you mellow out about this stuff as they get older, and realise it's nowhere near as important as you think it is.

grocklebox · 05/12/2014 13:31

People have different ideas to you and will say things that you wouldn't. Unless you want to go live in a cave with your kid you're going to have to get over it.
It's a very common idea that Santa doesn't bring presents to bold children. We tell ours they will get a sack of coal if they are too bold.....

TimelyNameChangey · 05/12/2014 13:32

at Jackie Dark. I had something called "Screaming Minnie" when I was a kid!

My nan....born to Irish immigrants in Liverpool in 1910 had a load of marvelously scary characters. I think Screaming Minnie might actually have been a cross between a traditional banshee and Screaming Mimi which was a rocket launcher used in WW11 and apparently sounded awful.

Starlightbright1 · 05/12/2014 13:50

Oh My DS has a reward chart to leave for santa..It is doing great things for making him think about behaviours I have been trying to change for ever.. I think it is something people say..

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