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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He made my life at work miserable....

43 replies

QweenCnut · 04/12/2014 18:37

and had a similar effect on most of my colleagues. But he's leaving next week Grin

Whenever there was discord, he was at the centre of it. He has upset so many people and is easily the most difficult person I have ever had to work with (I've been working for 30 years).

He literally has no qualms about what he says to people, doesn't care if his actions or comments are inappropriate. He bulldozes everyone who gets in his way. He thinks he's superior (he's not) and will talk incessantly at meetings, not realising that even our spineless management are not interested. To quote our MD "I'm going to end up punching him in the fucking mouth".

On several occasions, he has almost come to blows with my male colleagues. He has shouted in my face, to the point where I had to move away as I thought he was going to hit me.

Probably the worst thing he ever said to me was that he has a "hit list" of people he is going to kill or maim, and how. He led me to believe that I was on his list, as it includes other women he has worked with. I haven't told anyone at work, but did inform the police who took a statement.

WIBU to tell him exactly what I think of him on his last day? It would make me feel better, and less of a victim.

OP posts:
QweenCnut · 05/12/2014 08:42

Thanks for all the suggestions - I think I'm going to play happy music in my office all day. And if he does come in to say goodbye, I'll just say "see ya" and grin like a mad woman Grin

OP posts:
canweseethebunnies · 05/12/2014 09:10

I agree that if he's that much of a knobber you won't be able to make him feel like anything. He'll either feel satisfaction at having got to you, or more justified in his knobbish behaviour. Just be happy that you're rid and forget about him.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 05/12/2014 09:21

I wouldn't even smile when he comes in (wait until he's gone)

I would keep my head down looking at my work and say in bored voice
"Bye then..." and carry on working.

WobblyHalo · 05/12/2014 09:31

Oh Qween, I know EXACTLY how you feel. We had someone like that... only... he was our manager. It was awful.

He was a bully and a liar and micromanaged us to within an inch of our lives. HR was less than useless.

It really was the happiest day of our lives when he left. Our division has blossommed. We have so much fun that everyone in the rest of the company wants to be in our team. We also ended up witht he best year-end figures.

It's true what they say: Happy staff = good work.

Have a great party!!

Nomama · 05/12/2014 09:36

I forgot myself when the dragon who knifed my back regularly left.

I smiled and said "I think not" when asked to pop some money in her collection...

I smiled and said I hoped her retirement would be as happy for her as it was for me....

Then I realised what I had said actually, for real and out loud, smiled some more and left the room!

Marylou62 · 05/12/2014 09:47

My DH had a problem with a manager at work...he took a sickie...1st time in 8 years...he didn't want to be there when he left...

Zazzles007 · 05/12/2014 09:58

This man sounds like one of the supremely self centred. Best way to handle these people is to pretend and act like they don't actually exist, persona non grata. Pointedly look through him, when he addresses you, say "Huh?" with a calm and mild expression. Don't reach out him in any way whatsoever, and ignore him as you pass him going down the corridor. Drives them mad Xmas Grin.

QweenCnut · 05/12/2014 15:52

He has spent most of today hanging around people like a bad smell, being all chatty and jovial. He's even been talking to a colleague who, behind his back, he calls "black boy" Sad What's he up to? Surely not trying to make friends at this late stage? He has none, inside or outside of work.

OP posts:
immortalwife · 05/12/2014 16:00

Oh god definitely ignore him then. Chatty bastards give me the rage. I feel a bit like saying "did you not mean it when you said I was a miserable moaning cunt just after I found out my mum had nearly died and was in hospital?"......

Anyway yes massively ignore him!

Queenoftheworld · 05/12/2014 17:58

You can't convince people who are nuts that they are nuts, you will just get more nuttiness from them, possibly dangerous nuttiness in this case.

Stay well away/ignore, then put all your energy into a celebration knowing that you are free of him, but he is stuck being a c**t.

echt · 05/12/2014 19:59

Can we have an update on his exit?

vienna1981 · 05/12/2014 20:24

Suitable departure song: " Na Na, Hey Hey, Kiss Him Goodbye". By Steam or Bananarama, whichever takes your fancy.

Gem124 · 07/12/2014 17:41

I had 2 of these who left in quick succession. I wouldn't even bother to say anything, just enjoy the fact he's gone... And that karmas a bitch!!

championnibbler · 20/12/2014 21:01

He sounds a bit dangerous, to be honest. i'd give him a wide berth and be glad you're shot of him. not all of us are as lucky as you are that someone like that is actually leaving your workplace. he'll get his comeuppance eventually.

BallsforEarings · 20/12/2014 22:04

Do NOT do anything now, let it go! This guy has a mental health issue and you do not want to trigger an episode in your direction! Leave well alone, you or I are no match for these types! Sounds like Narcisistic Personality Disorder - dangerous people, just slide under their radar!

atwitsendbutpaddlinghard · 20/12/2014 22:28

Please please update OP

Discopanda · 20/12/2014 22:37

Damn, wish I'd seen this thread sooner, I was going to suggest that you got into work early and did a poo on his desk!¬

SockyWockyDooDaaa · 20/12/2014 23:03

Nearly every workplace has someone who fits this description at work. I could never understand why they were dealt with, and a couple of years ago I asked a friend of mine who is a HR Director in the City.

She smirked and that in some companies these people are seen by the hierarchy as essential to the firm as they encourage so many people to leave it keeps redundancy costs down....

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