AIBU to think cash instead of presents at a children's party is wrong?

[AnimatedDad]

My youngest has been invited to a birthday party held by 4 of his classmates.

I've now got an email saying all the children at the party are saving up for "big ticket presents" and could they have a donation towards them instead of presents.

I can see that young (5 years) kids parties often mean you end up with a load of presents your child doesn't really want... and I can see how you might ask close family for money instead of presents, but I think asking for money from your classmates is a bit off.

I mean, these are children who barely even know the meaning of money at this point.

I don't want to give an envelope full of cash to 4 (yes, it's a 4 way party) children. I want to buy them a hexbug or a bit of lego and have done with it!

I think it's even worse that the email didn't even say what we were supposed to be contributing towards. My child is supposed to be giving money for presents to his classmates, but I can't even tell him what that money is going towards.

I would be declining this one if I were you op.
4 gifts, that is rediculous. Four lots of cash, taking the piss.
If my child really wanted to go £2 in the cards. ( but I would be feeling ripped off.)

YANBU

there would be 4 gifts if 4 separate parties though.

I actually think it's a good idea, given the fact it's a joint party the spend will be less than getting 4 presents. Put £10 in the envelope and be done with it. It's kind of rude to ask for it, though. Last party DS went to, the parents said "no presents, please." I think that's enough to suggest that some money in a card would be preferable.

I don't have a problem with giving the money. Saves me the hassle of going to the shops!!

Another one who thinks its an awful idea.

Heck, I don't even like giving money for wedding presents and think it sounds grabby. So, for a child's birthday party.... no, no no!

My DD used to like to choose a gift for her school friends, one that she thought they would like. Giving money completely takes away this.

Presents shouldn't even be mentioned at all on the invitation, and ideas/suggestions only ever given if asked for.

Ah I can't get my knickers in a knot over this sort of stuff now. Money in a card? Easy and hassle free. Only one party to traipse to instead of four seperate ones? Perfect.

I would never ask for monkey over presents but now the dc's are getting older I tend to bung a fiver in a card and have done with it.

We have been doing tenners in cards for a few years now for the DC's friends (13 and 15). So much easier.

I genuinely do not understand why people think it's grabby to want cash as a gift for a birthday or wedding. I would be totally fine with sticking some money in a card. If you'd have be buying a gift anyway then what's the problem?

Been buying* doh

It is grabby to split the costs / hassle of a party four ways and expect each of the four to be given an individual present, though, is it not?
The parents could surely buy the "big ticket" items themselves when the party has only cost a quarter of what everyone else's costs...

How grasping, YANBU.

I willingly give cash to children from school who I don't know that well - so much easier. If I was asked to give money though I would be pissed off. I don't know why.

For children I do know well I'll always try to get them a present.

For my own children's birthdays - which fall either side of Christmas so an especially tight time of year - I specifically ask people not to go to any expense...a packet of haribo, a book, some pencils are fine if they want to make a gesture. Obviously many parents will do more than that, but it truly isn't expected. I'd hate for any one to think a condition of their child coming to my child's party was that they have to essentially pay.

It is not so much giving money though; it's being asked for money.

Being asked for anything in particular is pretty grabby in my book.

I would fuck them off with thier demands and give the gifts.
It wouldn't cost me £20 either.
I bulk buy stuff/hit sales and mis prices- I buy coloring in stuff, Hama, lego, hex bugs, latest craze stuff like loombands, touch bubbles, floating things, yoyos, puzzle cubes, joke stuff etc. The most i have ever spent is £4 and that was lego stuff. It changes yearly and any left over stuff gets chucked in my dc's stockings.

At this age they like to open a present. Any present.
I feel that if this becomes a trend the children will be missing on the pleasure of giving and receiving proper presents. So many people (or men!) are useless at choosing presents. Imagine how the next generation will be.

For wedding it makes more sense because the number og guests is bigger and the money spent is higher. I understand that 200 toasters is a waste.
But receiving 5 books and toys -when you are 5 yr old- is a joy.
I like small presents, the surprise element and the sentiment, and i hope we dont end up excanging cash with each other.

I think I'm going to just pretend I didn't get the email.

This is a private school so lots of the parents are city bankers. I'm a self employed single parent (I'm not pleading poverty here, but £2 in a card - or even £5 isn't going to cut it - Christmas presents for teachers were £35 per head this year!)

I honestly think if the giving cash instead of gifts thing is going to become the norm then either don't go to the party or stick to a fiver.

Fucking grabby and tacky. So sad to see all events going this way, why not just charge admission. Every event seems to be a way to tout for money for some uncouth cheeky gits.