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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to worry that it's not normal for DS to be ill this often.

42 replies

Stripeyclock · 04/12/2014 11:15

Sorry this is long as I'm flapping a bit.

My nearly 3 year old DS started nursery in September. He only goes two mornings a week.

I'm a SAHM so I don't have to send him if he is ill. I probably keep him home in circumstances when other parents who have to work will have no choice but to send their DCs in, such as mild temperatures etc.

Since the bad weather began he picked up a cold, or a series of different colds, I'm not sure.

This means he has missed quite a few days of nursery. Not consecutively but still quite a few because of snotty noses, mild temperatures etc. His nose has been running for over four weeks now and I think in the last four weeks, he missed one week entirely and then one day of each of the last three weeks because of cold type symptoms. He also missed one day when he was well, but I had to keep him off because of the 48 hour D+V policy.

I think part of the problem is that in the last few weeks, every time he's been to nursery he picks up something else and it's developed by the time he is due to attend again. Also we have relatives with young DC in another city we visit regularly, so they give each other stuff.

I always email the nursery to notify when he is going to be absent. Today when the practise manager emailed back, she was very pleasant and said she was sorry to hear he was ill and that he seems to be picking up a lot of bugs.

This comment has made me a bit paranoid now. I thought this was fairly normal before and people told me that kids pick up everything the first 6 months of starting nursery. We still effectively have 3 months of the first 6 months to go.

Now I'm worried. I'm worried that DS has some underlying problem. At the same time however I feel silly because I can't imagine that the Doctor will take me seriously as he just appears to have a cold.

Has anyone else found themselves in these circumstances?

OP posts:
mumofthemonsters808 · 04/12/2014 12:10

I could have wrote your post because I'm out off my mind with the amount of times my Ds (4) is poorly. He started school in September and barely a week has gone by without him having a bug, sickness bugs seem to target him first and then do the rounds. He is currently off school again, this time he has a hacking cough, been spewing and has a temperature. Luckily his school are very sympathetic.
My daughter (12) is very rarely poorly and has excellent school attendence simply because she has good health. I was flabbergasted when the Attendence Officer called on us after she was off for 3 days with a stomach cramp bug. Apparently it is standard practice for her to visit after a 3 day absence from school, she noted down what medication the Doctor had prescribed and luckily could see how poorly she was. I do not mind anyone visiting my home to check if my children are genuinely poorly but I can not help wonder how her friend manages to be off school for 6 weeks every year to visit family in Florida.

KatieKaye · 04/12/2014 12:14

Paracetemol is not going to do anything for a cough or snotty nose. why give your child drugs they don't need? the pharmacist was correct.

And rather than taking Night Nurse when you have a cold, try a decongestant, Vicks or Olbas Oil and plenty of hot drinks. even if that means a hot toddy!

Thurlow · 04/12/2014 12:19

star, I'll admit I won't give paracetamol during the day but I probably would before bedtime to help DD sleep. How old is she? She probably doesn't need medicine, but it's an easy habit to get in to asking for (DD will do the same sometimes). Plug in vaporisers are very good at night.

dixiechick1975 · 04/12/2014 12:25

One test I've read is would you go to work yourself with it. If yes send them in (we don't get paid when off so people come in work with colds/coughs/lost voice etc) most children have snotty noses at this time of year you will not be judged.
Do nursery have 48 hour rule some only want 24 hours re d & v.

financialwizard · 04/12/2014 12:32

I must be evil mum then because my normal response to 'I feel ill' is 'see how you feel at lunch and if you're still poorly get the teacher to call me'.

Been called maybe twice to collect in nearly 14 years.

High temps/chicken pox/anything contagious they stay home and have duvet days.

stargirl1701 · 04/12/2014 13:04

She is 2 years and 3 months. She 'a spent most of her life on one medication or another. She had silent reflux as an infant and was on Ranitidine for months. That was 3 syringes a day. Then the consultant advised using weight dosed paracetamol to help her manage the pain and sleep (she wasn't sleeping more than 40 minutes before screaming for 6/8 hours before sleeping another 40 minutes). They then changed the formula milk which made her constipated so Lactulose was added in. At one point, when she was on antibiotics, I was giving her 13 syringes of medication a day. We weaned her off all of that after 12 months and then the food allergies flared up so Piriton was needed.

We did baby signing and her second sign was medicine. Sad She's had a good year though. Her eczema is under control, no allergic reactions since Feb and until October no colds. It's just been this last few weeks. This one is particularly grotty though. She's at the childminder today and seems fine. She has napped for the first time in months this week - that's been good for me!

I'll pick up a plug in today for overnight. I have put drops of Olbas Oil on the bottom of her sleeping bag too.

No way am I giving up Night Nurse!!!! I can't take at the moment as I'm bf and co-sleeping but it is favourite medication! I love it! Bloody brilliant stuff Grin and I hate whisky so toddies for me.

KatieKaye · 04/12/2014 14:16

I don't like whisky either but I do find a nice big glass of port is wonderful before bed when I've got a stinking cold!

Very partial to Benylin expectorant too for a cough - the original stuff can help you drop off to sleep, hence why they also make the non-drowsy one which tastes vile. My Dad's wonderful doctor used to prescribe Benylin and codeine which was really good at getting you off to sleep.

stargirl1701 · 04/12/2014 16:02

Picked up a Calpol plug in this afternoon. Fingers crossed it makes a difference!

Bambamb · 04/12/2014 16:06

My DS was exactly the same at this age, DH and I had to take so much time off work to be off with him, over the space of about 10 months, it was horrendous.

In the end I convinced myself that he had some awful illness, he was referred for blood tests and it turned out he was mildly anaemic - might be worth checking. However, the GP did say that this is very common for kids at this age. DS had some iron supplementation and has been better since, but in hindsight I think I was over concerned to be honest. I think it's pretty normal.

Hope things improve soon! xx

halfdrunkcoffee · 04/12/2014 17:35

My son is four and seems to have a permacold as well. I send him with a runny nose but not if he seems to be feeling ill and I wouldn't sent him with a temperatur. He missed three days after he was sick at nursery and then has had a couple of mornings off since then.

I sometimes find it hard to tell if he's feeling ill enough to stay off. If I ask him what hurts, he often says something like, "My big toes are hurting."

Thurlow · 04/12/2014 17:56

Hope it does star!

TheRainInTheWoods · 04/12/2014 18:09

At around this age (2-4ish iirc) DS1 was ill constantly. Tonsillitis, general virus stuff, chicken pox... really it was one thing after another. My DNephew is doing exactly the same thing at the moment.

It was exhausting for all of us. Then he just seemed to pull out of it.

Thurlow · 04/12/2014 18:27

I was chatting to my CM today (as I mentioned up thread, I've been similarly worried that something was up with DD and she's had blood tests) and she says that everyone is saying all the kids seem under the weather and knackered at the moment.

stargirl1701 · 04/12/2014 21:57

I'm enjoying a Lemsip now! Grin

naty1 · 04/12/2014 22:39

My 2.6 yr old is now teething 2nd molars, stopped napping etc and i think this can bring on reflux.

I think op you can take them in more if its just runny nose. But i guess keeping them off till recovered may get their immune system calmed after being stretched by lots of colds. You dont want them to catch something else on top.

I think the pharmacist was wrong though in that i like to have paracetamol available in case the temperature comes on suddenly. So while you didnt need it at the time it could have been later that night.

Possiblestudentteacher · 05/12/2014 19:05

I'm a trainee teacher and am on my fourth bug/infection since I started in September so it's not just the kids! It's also been a long term and everyone (teachers and kids) is tired and under the weather at my school :)

lucy101 · 05/12/2014 19:09

Hi there, just to add that my son's first year at nursery (2.5 to 3.5) was just an endless steam of illness to the point where I started to think there was something wrong with him... but a year later and he is much stronger and I think it was just being exposed to so many germs after being a PFB! I don't send him in with a temp or D and V but otherwise I assume he is fine to go.

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