to think this is a little off. sorry gift and mil related

[prettywoman35]

I need to be told I ambu as deep down I know I probably am. My feelings are probably clouded by other issues with mil. Basically my mum always treats all the family equally. Ie she spends same on me and dh and our 2 dds. Mil has always spent more on dh and dd1 (her favourite 1stgranddaughter). as dd2 is young I understood this. (say twice as much on dh and dd1 ) His family also exchange lists of gifts they would like. dh always has frivolous things on there.
So this year has been hard for mil healthwise. Dh has spent time supporting her leaving me to pick up slack with our young children. I was absolutely happy for him to do this.
So mil rang wanting to speak to dh. She had some news but wanted to share with dh 1st. again fair enough. In passing she mentioned thatshe was going to be spending £200 on dh for xmas as he has helped her so much. Again fair enough her choice. However, later dh told me thay she was only paying for half of dd2 gift. I may be reading too much into it but dd2 wasn't planned and I can't help feeling abit cross about this. She is I believe spending more on dd1.
So snap me out of it and tell me Iabu

DD2 wont care right now, but if DH doesn't do something then MIL will continue to favour DD1 and sooner or later it will become very obvious to DD2.

Why on earth didn't DH tell MIL that he's a big boy and not really that bothered about presents for himself and that she should be putting the children first?

Yes, why does your DH have a 'Santa list' ?!?! I don't have a problem with an "oooh I fancy [new pjs] [so-and-sos autobiography] [whatever]" if asked (i.e. if the mum is struggling to think of something or wants an idea of what he would like) but sending a list of expensive gifts to your mum when you have kids of your own is just weird/unnecessary isn't it?

I would talk to your DH and/or MIL (if required to get the point across) and say you don't want any involvement with what she spends - don't need to know what cost what and who for... leave her to it. Unless your DD1 and DD2 gifts begin to look obviously different - i.e. they would know she's favouring one over the other - I'd stay out of it. If she asks for gift ideas, name one similarly priced gift per child and leave it at that.

What does "DH saw particular gift for dd2 which is different to what she has already" mean? Did he ask his mum for a gift of his choice when she'd already bought dd2's gift?? No bloody wonder she doesn't want to splash out again...
In fact it's decent enough of her to offer to fund half the cost.
And your dh is a grabby arse, by the way. Of course he knows the cost of the crap he puts on his "list"!