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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

BIL and rent, who is BU?

12 replies

bonnymiffy · 02/12/2014 21:07

BIL got made redundant and separated from his wife summer of last year, so we said he could move in with us while he got things back on track. It was meant to be for 6 months maximum, but he had other issues, and he's now been with us since November '13, and isn't planning to move out until August '15. It took him 6 months to find work (it really shouldn't have been that hard except he was being picky) and we agreed a sum of rent and he has paid us weekly once he started working (so 6 months of living with us for free), until now when he's said he'd rather pay monthly as that's how he's paid. Fair enough, except that he's decided to pay the weekly rate x 4 rather than the yearly amount /12.
He couldn't live anywhere else cheaper as we pay all the utilities/TV/broadband etc, he has a TV in his room, and sometimes include in the catering arrangements.
I'm fuming! We're skint and could reasonably easily find a lodger who would pay us what we asked without the hassle! I realise that our finances are our problem and it's not up to BIL to get us through a difficult patch but I'm stunned by his attitude that we're trying to make money out of him! It's not a large sum of money but it's the principle! If the boot was on the other foot it wouldn't have occurred to me not to recalculate, but, at least he's still paying.
AIBU? Or is he?

OP posts:
ilovepowerhoop · 02/12/2014 21:11

Just tell him what the monthly amount is and if he isnt happy with it he is free to find somewhere else to live. YANBU

Johnogroats · 02/12/2014 21:11

He is BVU!

I say that as a mug who had BIL staying for 18 months rent free. I kept hoping for a case of wine or a but of gratitude. We didn't need the money, and BIL is on about £100k, but he was in my house and my space, taking the piss.

We gave him a couple of months notice...DH was as pissed off as me.

whois · 02/12/2014 21:22

Yeah he is free to move out. Can't believe he is having the cheak to argu! I'd up the rent to a more market level since he's behaving like a twat.

Weekly amount x 52 / 12 = monthly amount.

Fairenuff · 02/12/2014 21:37

I don't understand your problem. Tell him what the rent is and if he doesn't like it he can move out.

Why did you even give him two months notice? Just tell him to leave.

Fairenuff · 02/12/2014 21:38

Oh, sorry John, I got you mixed up with OP there.

sooperdooper · 02/12/2014 21:41

You set the rent, just tell him how much it is per month, I don't see why it's up for discussion

bonnymiffy · 02/12/2014 21:55

Thanks all, that's what I was thinking, but sometimes it's difficult to get a perspective when you're involved with it Smile

OP posts:
Starlightbright1 · 02/12/2014 22:01

I was going to say it depends on what you want but actually I don't think it does Tell him it is fine to pay monthly and rent is .... a month. Tell him you are giving him till ... to find somewhere else to live.. Can I just add my friend is a letting agent..January is a really difficult month to find a flat to rent due to it been the mostly likely time couples seperate.

foslady · 02/12/2014 22:40

Buy him a calender for Christmas and cross out the 29th-31st of each month with big letters 'DAYS YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO LIVE HERE'

bonnymiffy · 02/12/2014 22:58

starlight that's really sad.
foslady love it! might have to try that!!

OP posts:
missingmumxox · 02/12/2014 23:08

Love fos x
Just say yes that is fine about the rent but it will be paid 4 weekly, oh and when are you moving out?

Oldraver · 02/12/2014 23:15

He doesn't get to decide what he pays, you set the rent. I had my brother living with me for a long time and he was paying half of the going rate for a lodger, so you would think he would be on time with rent ? oh no, and on occasions when he 'forgot' or was late and had to pay me two months, say in the middle of the month (as he was a month late for one month and two weeks late for another) was then surprised when I asked him for rent two weeks later. I do think he was permanently short of money but you would not get away with this from a landlord

He is taking the piss and you get to call the shots I know in practise its hard

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