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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry that not being able to take ds to school ever again is going to really upset him.

15 replies

Whowillsaveyoursoul · 02/12/2014 19:20

Ds is 5 and started a new school in September. He did reception elsewhere. He's a summer born so young year 1.
I've got a job in a school which will mean he will have to go to a childminders for 15mins every morning and I can't take him to school anymore. Ds seems very upset about this - I suppose it never occurred to him mummy wouldn't be able to take him and he's already had to adapt to the new school.

I'm feeling terrible about this, I suppose when you're 5 having someone take you is a big thing. Ds seems very unsettled over it - he doesn't do change brilliantly - and I'm spending all my time worrying about him. And I feel a little sad myself that I won't get to take him again. He used to hold my hand as we went up and chatter about his upcoming day.

Aibu to feel like I've let him down?

OP posts:
soverylucky · 02/12/2014 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MillionairesShortbread · 02/12/2014 19:26

It's one of the (many) reasons I'm not returning to teaching, and I do feel like I'm lucky to be able to chat on the way to/from school. Its fairly usual in our area but I'm well aware that its a privilidge as many many children with working parents need to go to school with childminders.

I guess if you have before school/after school clubs you can still pick up from school but ours doesn't.

wheresthelight · 02/12/2014 19:27

yanbu to feel sad but ultimately there isn't a lot you can do about it and he will adjust really quickly!

Original poster
Whowillsaveyoursoul · 02/12/2014 19:29

I can fetch him I just can't take him.
The annoying thing is that we could afford me to stay at home at least a while longer but dh isn't exactly generous so I'm being forced into this feeling terribly guilty. Don't think dh feels guilty.

OP posts:
Ragwort · 02/12/2014 19:29

I am sure he will adjust very soon - those lovely days of walking to school and chatting and sharing things soon pass - my DS used to beg me to be allowed to walk on his own or I had to wait in some obscure part of the playground so 'no one saw me'. I would be lucky if I got a grunt out of him. Grin

pauline6703 · 02/12/2014 19:30

My children's school had an arrangement where the older children walked to school and met the younger ones on the way and the ever increasing sized group walked together.

Are there any older children who could walk to the school with your Ds?

Sirzy · 02/12/2014 19:30

I know how you feel (reception age son full time Ta) but he will adapt.

DS was upset at first but quickly settled into our new routine.

It may be a downside of working in a school but the plus of having holidays off with him far outweigh the negatives

Original poster
Whowillsaveyoursoul · 02/12/2014 19:31

I think that's why I'm sad ragwort - they don't last long anyway and I'm missing out.
I know lots of parents are in the same boat but most at ds's school are sahms. Hardly any use childminders. It's the norm to take your own child. He won't have to go to after school club or anything as I can get him so at least I can do one end of the day but hate dropping him and worrying about him being sad.

OP posts:
Ragwort · 02/12/2014 19:32

I know it is a separate discussion but I could 'afford' to be a SAHM for over 14 years .......... however, when I needed to return to the workplace I found it incredibly difficult - although I did get the first job I applied for it is for a significantly lower salary than I earned before (even taking all those years out of the workplace into account Grin), I suggest you go back to work and aim to enjoy it and focus on your career - it is fortunate that you will be able to pick your DS up after school.

skylark2 · 02/12/2014 19:32

But you'll be talking him to the childminders instead, won't you - can't you hold his hand and chat then?

I think it'll be a non-issue after about three days.

JsOtherHalf · 02/12/2014 19:33

Umm, your DH isn't exactly generous?

Sounds like there is a backstory here?

ouryve · 02/12/2014 19:37

If your DH "isn't generous", then it sounds like going back to work is a must for you. Not for his sake, but yours.

I'm suspecting a back story, too.

Itsfab · 02/12/2014 19:38

Why does your husband dictate how family money is spent? Hmm

Nanny0gg · 02/12/2014 19:41

but dh isn't exactly generous so I'm being forced into this feeling terribly guilty.

That's the part I'd have an issue with.

BackforGood · 02/12/2014 19:46

Just what I was going to say skylark - surely you can chat on the way to the CMs ?? Confused

You will also be picking him up everyday - what a luxury!.

Just tell him about how lovely it will be now you're back at work, to be able to go on holiday in the Summer, or whatever it is you will now be able to afford that you didn't when you were at home.

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