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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go next door for a cuppa while the baby sleeps?

47 replies

Charingcrossbun · 02/12/2014 18:57

My neighbour has invited me round for a cuppa, cake and catch up "when baby has his nap". Thing is we live in terraced houses and the baby monitor easily works between the walls but it just feels wrong and I'm not comfortable with it. If I'm being logical though I'd be closer to DS (8months) in my neighbour's kitchen than I am when I stay at my parents' house so what's the difference?
The point is fairly moot as DS never ever naps long enough for tea and cake but still - would it be unreasonable to pop next door with the monitor obv....

OP posts:
rastamam · 02/12/2014 20:40

Ah, maybe it was this one, it is different after all www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/a1121618-Would-you-leave-baby-sleeping-to-go-next-door-with-a-monitor

Mulligrubs · 02/12/2014 20:40

Nope, never in a million years. I don't even go into the garden when my DS is napping (the baby monitor does still work) I don't know why, it just feels wrong. Anything outside can wait, I need to be in the house while he's asleep.

juneybean · 02/12/2014 20:41

Go for god sake just go!

rastamam · 02/12/2014 20:41

Does your ds nap in his pram? can you just take him with you?

OneLeggedCrabGoingInCircles · 02/12/2014 20:47

Mine slept really heavily so I could always take them with me. However I'm sure I would if it was only next door, it's just as though you had a bigger house plus you can hear the monitor it's so close.

Sickoffrozen · 02/12/2014 20:51

Didn't someone almost lose their children recently for leaving the youngest in the car for 2 mins while he went into the chemist to get medicine for them? I wouldn't risk it on that basis alone.

IdaClair · 02/12/2014 20:51

Maybe everyone in mn land lives in huge houses?

Me, I live in a terrace. My next door is about a yard from my neighbours front door. I often sit in my front garden. Sometimes I even take out the bin. Sometimes I cross into the neighbours garden, which involves taking two steps out of my front door, and we have tea sitting on her bench instead of my bench, in the summer, with the door open. In the winter we sit in either front room. No monitor, no need for one, I can hear the baby without a problem at all. I'd be further away in my own kitchen than in my neighbours living room. I'd be far better placed to see a fire as well. I can see my door. It wouldn't occur to me to lock it just to pop next door. There is a really strange distortion of risk here I can only think comes from a neighbour being over the fence and round the corner?

Craziness.

Janethegirl · 02/12/2014 21:37

I would because you'd probably hear the babe even without the room monitor.
If there was a fire in the babes room you would not know even in your own house unless you'd set up a videocam, so it would be the same scenario.

crumblebumblebee · 02/12/2014 21:45

The risks are minuscule but the unlikely ramifications are huge. IMO, not worth it for a cuppa.

kaffkooks · 02/12/2014 21:49

I would. I sometimes go to the shop next door with the baby monitor in my pocket. I don't stop and chat to anyone though so I'm usually back very quickly

minipie · 02/12/2014 21:52

I'm fairly lax about safety (compared with the MN standard anyway) but no I wouldn't. Monitor might not work, fire, front door could jam... Ask her to yours and don't worry about the house state, you have a baby!

BathshebaDarkstone · 02/12/2014 21:55

YABU if you don't feel comfortable with it. You have maternal instincts for a reason. Smile

Bluestocking · 02/12/2014 21:58

No, I would never have done this. It just feels really wrong. As a PP said, the risk is minute but the potential knock-on effects are incalculable.

SpringBreaker · 02/12/2014 21:59

"I don't even go into the garden when my DS is napping (the baby monitor does still work) I don't know why, it just feels wrong. Anything outside can wait, I need to be in the house while he's asleep."

thats a tad too extreme.. you dont actually NEED to be in the house, going into your own garden is quite a normal thing to do.. hanging out washing, emptying the bins etc..

freedom2011 · 02/12/2014 22:05

Nope, she can come to you. Baby monitor works quite well. I still check on dd every 20 mins max if she's napping in another room. paranoid first timer

KidLorneRoll · 02/12/2014 22:07

Don't really see why the fact the room you are in has a different number on the front really matters. As long as the monitor works and you know you can get to the child quickly it makes no difference, surely, between being next door in a small terrace or across the other side of a bigger building that just happens to be one house.

PerpendicularVincenzo · 02/12/2014 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lomega · 02/12/2014 22:36

No.

Your neighbour should come to you.

cogitosum · 02/12/2014 22:39

I wouldn't but can't specifically put my finger on why.

furcoatbigknickers · 02/12/2014 22:41

Why can't she come to you?

Check the smoke alarms and go.

Stormingateacup · 02/12/2014 22:43

I don't think it's about distance but about the baby being in a building that has its own entrance/exit. Fire, lockout, abduction are all remote but possible. Tiny risk but massive consequences.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 02/12/2014 23:40

When you are bursting for a toilet, it's a nightmare trying to open the doors.

If something is wrong and you need to get in, in a panic you may find opening the door a struggle.

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