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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel proud of myself today?

13 replies

vintagecrap · 01/12/2014 14:33

My ex husband had a baby today with the girl he was having one of his many affairs with.

I was at my work xmas party last night and for the first time ever he was keeping dd Sunday night and taking her to school Monday. He text at 5am to say I had to go get her as his wife was in labour.

Couldn't drive as I was still drunk. But i got dd picked up. Dealt with her. Went to his and sorted his pets out.

Baby has been born. I've gone to buy presents and we have been invited to the hospital later.

I actually feel warm for him. And hope that he might step up to the plate this time round. I'm even concerned his wife is ok amd actually feel a bit sorry for her with what she faces now ( she will be left on her own as he lives away during the week)

Just I feel a bit proud of myself that this is how I feel rather than anything else.

OP posts:
DoJo · 01/12/2014 14:42

You should feel proud - it is a great thing that you have moved on and that you are able to get on reasonably well for your daughter. Supporting her relationship with her baby half-brother or sister and being positive about her father will make your life so much easier for her, which is definitely something to be proud of!

Floggingmolly · 01/12/2014 14:44

You are now officially a grown up Smile Well done.

Original poster
vintagecrap · 01/12/2014 14:45

Plenty of grown ups don't behave like they are. And, to be fair her dad is a bit of an arse to me at the best if times

However. It's not the babies fault and it will be nice for dd. So.......you know..

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 01/12/2014 14:47

Ok, you're one of the good eggs... Wink

kittykathat · 01/12/2014 16:27

Someone elses problwm now

Shockers · 01/12/2014 16:32

I'm proud of you too! You sound like a lovely mum who has her priorities in order Smile.

Andrewofgg · 01/12/2014 16:37

You are lovely- all the best to all concerned.

FoxgloveFairy · 01/12/2014 16:43

You should be proud. You've been very selfless and kind, plainly when you would have every right to be bitter. You're looking at the situation from more than your own perspective, and that is mature. Well done.

Original poster
vintagecrap · 02/12/2014 06:10

:)

We visited. I had a hold of the baby. Offered my help when she is on her own. Gave her a big hug. Dd was happy.

Oddly I didn't feel sad. Or broody or anything.

OP posts:
MillionToOneChances · 02/12/2014 06:33

Been there. Done something similar. Managed to resist texting when baby was 3 months old pointing out that when my youngest was 3 months old she was on a date with my husband

At the end of the day, however we got to this point their children are my children's sisters. I can assure you from 5 years down the line that you're making the best choice for your DD. Bitterness gets you nowhere.

foslady · 02/12/2014 06:40

Be very proud of yourself this is the bridge I worry about having to cross one day, I will remember your post if it ever happens and try to be like you

Original poster
vintagecrap · 02/12/2014 07:38

Fos, you will be.

:)

OP posts:
Preciousbane · 02/12/2014 08:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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