WIBU re French house?

[LeFrenchDilemma]

Name changed for this (I hope it's worked!) and sorry for the long post.

My mum and stepdad moved to France 9 years ago and bought a 3 bed house. Mum invited her parents, my grandparents, (then in their early 70s) to come and live with her so she could look after them in their old age. They agreed. They sold their home in the UK, and used about half the money from the sale to build a very large extension onto my mums house. So it's effectively 2 homes melded into one and joined by a shared kitchen. My mum did not put their names on the deeds of the house (more on that later)

My grandparents used the majority of the rest of the house sale money to travel the world. When they returned they decided they didn't like France after all and moved back to the UK. Leaving my mum and stepdad with a ginormous house to live in.

Many arguments followed, as my grandparents wanted the money they'd put into the house back so they could buy again in UK. So mum put the house on the market about 3 years ago. However the French property market has dipped since she first bought it and the whole 2 house structure is only worth the same as the price she paid when it was a 3 bed. Even if she sold it for the asking price my grandparents couldn't afford to buy a house as they have spent most of the money they had travelling.

Thing is my mum doesn't actually want to move. She was happy in her 3 bed home and will lose money in then house sale (she is mortgage free btw). Also there are repairs they've had to carry out on the house. Mum has paid for them and written down how much they cost and will be deducting half from my grandparents cut when the house sells. She hasn't actaully told them this though (and this is why she hasn't put their names on the deeds in case they want to walk away without 'paying' their half for the repairs). These repairs include stuff done to the original house as well as the extension. She's also paid for the extension to be heated in winter so that pipes don't burst and has put this expense on the list.

Mum is beginning to struggle financially and is using the extension now as a B&B to get extra money (mum doesn't work but her husband does). Again my grandparents don't know this in case they ask for half the income. They are on generous pensions and are currently renting.

So everyone is tense and worried - my grandparents want the house sold so they can atleast reclaim money for the inheritance of all their children and mum doesn't see why she should sell the house as they chose to build and move. WIBU? And is there any way out this dilemma? I'm stuck in the middle at the moment as both parties use me as a sounding board.

Another one here who doesn't understand why your mother can't take on a small mortgage and buy out the PILs. You should be able to get a current valuation as is. And ask what it would be without the extension. Probably won't have added as much as PILs think.

Your mum sounds pretty sneaky and dishonest. No trust between her and your stepdad and her parents is there?

Your grandparents are entitled to their money out of the house - they were entitled to spend the rest of it as they chose- it was their money and not for the rest of you to judge. It was very kind and generous of your mum to be prepared to look after them - that was a huge huge offer - hopefully this generosity will not be overlooked or forgotten in the present row. However, I think your mum will just have to sell up. Too bad. Remind her that a smaller house will be cheaper to run. Also, she may have to sell for less, but she will also buy for less too.

And if the rest of your grandparent's money is now to go on care home fees - again too bad I'm afraid. (but have your grandparents thought about that - there probably won't be anything left as an inheritance anyway for anyone. How long before they will need care? I think your grandparents are being short sighted and in denial. They can't give money away to family and then expect the state to pay for their care - it doesn't work that way.

I sympathise with those who say = keep out of it!! You don't want to be tarred with your mum's dishonesty. Major upset brewing - keep out of it. Your grandparents won't be around for ever, don't spoil your last years and memories of them with a sour relationship.

I live part of my life in France and I'm not sure what to suggest to resolve this because it's a personal problem.

On the legal side though I would strongly recommend that you resolve this situation as quickly as you can. If your mother and stepfather have not made a French will then I suggest that they do so as quickly as possible. French property law is very different from English property law and there is no basic assumption that with the death of one partner the survivor inherits. I know two people among my French neighbours who have had a very difficult experiences after the death of their spouse. It is not possible to disinherit your children. Does your stepfather have any children ?
I don't want to alarm you, but thought I better mention it in case it's something you hadn't thought of.

I can't see any way out of this other than a cash settlement being offered by your mother to your grandparents, and if that can't be achieved, waiting on the property to sell in order to fund it.

Neither party are innocents (does being feckless with money/unable to plan futures properly and then complaining when it all goes tits up run in the family or something?) but I can't believe your grandparents are pressurising your mother to sell her own home in this way, as a result of their rash decisions. Lots of people live in places they don't like and if they'd bought their own property in France they would be stuck as well. Since they don't seem to be really suffering just now (they have somewhere to rent and money to live on) I think expecting someone to uproot their entire lives by selling their home just to correct their earlier mistake) is totally unreasonable.

But legally there should be a cash settlement by your mother some way, who incidentally does seem to have a trait of not doing things by the book and then getting into trouble because she doesn't foresee problems.

I also agree that getting a proper valuation comparing the before and after values is essential and a bit surprised its not already been done. I agree that in the current market the extended house might not be worth much more than the 3 bedroom house, as it will presumably attract higher property taxes, cost more to maintain and to heat, etc. and have less appeal to the ordinary buyer. It might not be worth any more at all or might even be worth less - many buyers of holiday homes would think about 3 bedrooms an idea maximum.