To not want any contact with this guy?

[DrewOB]

Hello all!
Sorry a bit long.
On Friday, my boyfriend and I went for drinks with a mate of his I'd never met before. Barely arrived and he started making comments such as "I hate the f*cking French" ( which I am), or " you have a very slappable face" which I ignored and tried to diffuse with humor. We chatted a bit longer then out of the blue he actually slapped me! Not hard and it was not painful but I was shocked (and retaliated appropriately) then we excused ourselves and left.
So my question is, I know I never want to see him again but my boyfriend has to as part of his job. Wibu to ask him to not hang out with him outside work? I've never had a guy touch me even as a joke and to be fair I'm still in shock.

Definitely never see this guy again! You're well within your rights to refuse to be anywhere near him. What a horrible man.

Being "tipsy" is no excuse for violence.
Alcohol reduces control, so he is obviously naturally violent.
Your bf should have nothing more to do with him.

Absolutely have nothing more to do with him. TBH I would be really considering my DP's priorities if he continued to socialise with this guy. He might have to deal with him on a professional basis (although if anyone was racist and slapped my partner I'd be looking for a new supplier) but can distance himself in any other way.

did he slap you in the face

This man would have left the restaurant on a stretcher. What a douche.

I'd be reconsidering the BF too. He didn't need to knock him out but he should have made it clear to him that he was out of order and that he was lucky you didn't call the police on his arse. He also should be telling his company what one of their suppliers is like.

When one of our supplies was rude and intimidating to a member of staff that was immediately fed back up to the company to assess whether they wanted to carry on using him- they didn't.

Those of you asking 'did he slap you in the face' - have you actually read the OP? When reading a thread, surely the OP is the important part?

Anyway - sorry OP - I would be FURIOUS with the boyf. And very unhappy if he didn't take steps to tell this bloke that he's an arsehole.

If one of my friends did that to my dp, I wouldn't be able to not say something!

People suggesting police, erm they wont do anything but take a report, it isnt worth the hassle.
Secondly your boyfriend isnt a man or he doesnt care about you
He allowed another man to humiliate you in front of him, think about it

You shouldn't need to ask your boyfriend to give this guy a wide berth.

And as for his reaction "oh yeah he can be a bit of a cunt"... Well I think the company people choose to keep says a lot about them.

I have more of an issue with the BF making weak excuses about the prick's behaviour than him not having lamped him one at a time.
Personally, I'd rather chose my own battles and it sounds like the OP did just fine.

I had a chat with BF, he says he doesn't want to talk to the twat again, however ive asked him to talk to the guy's wife and make sure that she's safe before cutting ties with him. I think that's best really?

and the guy lost himself a few dozen thousands pounds worth of contract. I can't wait to heat what his boss has to say when they explain why.

I still cant believe that your boyfriend wanted to socialize with a man like that, when he knows "he can be a bit like a c*nt"

We have an saying in Norway, "She me your friends, and I can tell who you are". Very apt.

YANBU OP, and well done for standing up for yourself. I'm another one who would not have looked kindly on my boyfriend dealing with it for me like I can't handle these things for myself.

Your BF would do well to find another supplier.

OP, your BF may also like to join the White Ribbon Campaign, whereby men can pledge: "never to commit, condone, or remain silent about men's violence against women in all its forms."

Doubt the bf will want to join, after all he condoned his verbal abuse of op, he was fine with his mate saying his girlfriend had a "slappable face", ie a face he wanted to violate, and boyfriend did not seem to react much when his mate slapped her.

Such a campaign is sadly lost on men like this.

that what surprises me most, I have seen him several times before go out of his way to help women who were being harassed outside pubs and when it came to me and his friend he did nothing.
I think that's the other edge of saying "i don't need your help" too often.

I am really at this (what's with the hats MN?)

Would the police really only file a report or would they visit him? I think he ought to be put through the "ordeal" of a police visit. It won't be the first time this guy has ever hit a woman, it won't be the last. He may have a police record for this already, if not, it would be good if you could start one.

Well done for hitting him back and particularly for staring him down, (it may not be the politically correct reaction but entirely understandable and probably the only language he understands) but if you do go to the police, and I hope you do, I think you need to make sure they understand exactly why and how you did, or they might "write you off" as being just as bad as he is.

Wtf?!

If this happened to me I would expect DH to cancel his work contract with him, and absolutely not socialise with him ever again.

I would also expect DH to do this off his own back and not just because Id asked him to.

I'd be concerned about your partners reaction, if I'm honest.

I'm a stubborn, gnarly old mule who prefers fighting my own battles, and DH bloody knows it (and loves me for it) but if a man or a friend of his a) spoke to me in such a manner or b) lay a finger on me, I honestly couldn't say which one of us would get to the fucker first! My DH hates confrontation but would never allow such disrespect of anyone.

I'd discuss it further with your partner, his behaviour and reaction is very questionable. Obviously his 'mate' is a colossal jebend.

"I have seen him several times before go out of his way to help women who were being harassed outside pubs and when it came to me and his friend he did nothing."
It's a lot easier to intervene when the aggressor is a stranger; harder when the aggressor is known to you. Less fallout, IYSWIM. Regardless, your boyfriend does not come out of this smelling of roses.