prob wrong area but, Wills? Do we need them?

[Becca1992]

New to MN aND not sure where to ask this question.

My and my dp have been together for 8 years. He has a daughter (11) fron his first marriage who he never sees (his ex did a flit and he could not track her down :-().
Anyway, we have two children together and I have a daughter from my marriage. I think we should probably get wills drawn up but he says there's no need because if one of us dies it will just go to the other one because we've lived together for so long. I would like to get married but he isn't keen.

What should we do?

MrsGeorgeMichael, did you whisper something about Powers of Attorney ?

I tend to do Lasting Powers of Attorney mainly for older clients who are concerned about what would happen if they lost mental capacity through Alzheimers, but it isn't a bad idea for younger people to make one as, although it happens rarely, if a younger person loses the capacity to look after their finances because of a brain injury from an accident, for example, it can be a nightmare for their family to sort out.

A Lasting Power of Attorney gives a nominated person (the Attorney), the ability to look after the Donor's financial matters very easily. If there isn't one in place, they would have to make an application to the Court of Protection which takes on average 9 to 12 months and costs several thousands of pounds in costs.

Thank you all for your advice. I have just had a long and tearful conversation with my partner and we will be in touch with you mumblechum to make our wills. I see you have very good reviews. :-)

Don't worry OP, we'll soon have you sorted out and once your wills are signed and stored away you can stop fretting and enjoy the run up to christmas!

Becca It's always pleasing when a thread achieves something!

Andrew

Sorry mumblechum sorry I didn't mean they were mutually exclusive just that to use a private client solicitor rather than a company who do knock out very standardised wills which really in this age of complex family dynamics are rubbish - sorry that was all I meant

No probs Dr Bonnie! There certainly are some cowboys out there

This has given me the kick I needed. The change in law has sorted out most of my requirements (I'm a single parent, money will all go to kids) but I do need to sort out guardianship and lasting power of attorney.

Sorry to jump on this one - DH and I don't have wills, and I realise we probably should, for guardianship issues if nothing else.

So. How have others chosen guardians? What factors should I be considering? None of our siblings are ideal for various reasons (distance, unsettled lives, huge age gap etc) and I was wondering how others made such a potentially huge decision.

I used Mumblechum1 a couple of years ago and she was excellent and brilliantly priced.
I had put off getting a will due to the cost but now have piece of mind knowing that it is done.

I urge everybody to make a will, it makes things so much easier for those left behind ( well in most cases )
for example my lovely Mum died suddenly a few years back.
Divorced mum of 2.
Settling her estate should have been simple
NO
There was no will.
Bank accounts were frozen.
Insurance wouldn't pay out until we had Confirmation ( probate equivalent in Scotland ) in fact they wouldn't even disclose the amount in the policies until we had an Executrix Dative
We couldn't sell any anything like car, caravan etc etc
Meanwhile rent was still due on caravan site.
There were court fee, certificate fees.
We paid for the funeral on my credit card.
I had to apply to the Sheriff Court to be appointed Executrix, as I wasn't nominated in a will it took longer than normal, it involved a fair bit of paperwork and sisters agreement.
Only then was I able to ingather the estate also having to get a Bond of Caution, which is required in Scotland when someone dies intestate ( this Bond cost far more than making a will in the first place)
Luckily my sister and I get on very well which made disposing of the estate smooth, we were in agreement in all things. If we didn't get on it would have been a nightmare without a will to guide us.
It was stressful and emotional at a time when we were still mourning our sudden loss.

LL12, thank you!

MrsJoss, guardianship is the one thing which puts people off making a will. No one wants to imagine their children growing up without their parents around.

Not many people have a "perfect guardian" candidate waiting in the wings, for the reason you outlined, ie distance, age gaps etc, so I always recommend to clients who are struggling that they should consider appointing several guardians. You can have a few joint guardians, who would decide among themselves about who would have the children day to day, or appoint one primary guardian, and a secondary one to step in if the first one can't or won't act.

It's also good to have several guardians to cover various scenarios depending on how old the children were when the second parent died. So for example, if anything happened to your children when they were tiny, often it would be fine for them to go to relatively young grandparents even if they're a long way away. But if they were, say, 15 and 17 and in the middle of GCSEs and A levels, they could stay with their close friends in the area for that couple of years, and the trust would pay out their maintenance costs to whoever was looking after them day to day.

I generally recommend that the guardians are separate from the executors and trustees, to avoid potential conflicts of interest.