About "just a little something"

[Poopooplop]

So I meet up with a group of friends every year about this time to drink cocktails, gossip and be silly. In our younger days, we'd exchange cheap (under £5) presents.

Since then we've all had children/got married etc. We still meet up but have agreed that we won't do presents. Every year... They all "buy a little something" but "don't expect anything back" and I feel like a dick because I listen to the agreed "let's not buy each other some pointless gifty crap".

Gah! I can't afford to be buying a bunch of people really cheap presents. Am I a miserable git or should I just suck it up and buy them some reindeer poo?

In my group of friends, we buy one big present for one person. We also agreed on the no gift thing, but if I actually see people I will take over a little present. This year I'm basically doing a party bag - with a load of 'retro' sweets in them (refreshers, white mice, strawberry shoelaces, etc).

Not the most sophisticated present in the world, but sweets are generally welcome!

Really lovely tree decorations in waitrose I noticed this morning, the majority were £1.50, I'd be delighted to receive one as a gift.

Make a big batch of something edible e.g. Christmas biscuits or some Christmas-spiced tiffin, buy some nice celophane foodgift bags and a roll of gold ribbon to tart the presentation up a bit. You can then give a dozen nice "token" gifts for less than £5 total outlay, and probably more appreciated than a bunch of cheap tat too.

The little bottles of wine or fizz, usually 3 for £5/6. If it's drinkable and alcoholic it's not cheap tat!

Cheap presents don't have to be crap or tat.

What on earth is wrong with nice soaps or socks?

YABU

I'd get each of them a small lindt chocolate santa (approx £1).

Seasonal, tasty & disposable.

Lush bath bomb each? Or superdrug were doing some reduced to £1.50 each which I've bought a few of! Mini terracotta pots from the garden centre with a hyacinth or bulb in each and a Christmassy ribbon on?

I find all of this coyness odd. Can you not just say how you feel to them? It doesn't have to be awkward, just make a bit of a joke before you meet up or something. Personally I would send an email round saying 'hi all, really looking forward to seeing everyone on tuesday, been ages since we caught up blah blah. Just wanted to say that i know we have agreed no presents, but every year a few of you kindly get everyone a little something anyway. This is really lovely and nice of you, but i wont be able to reciprocate this year and it makes me feel like a right skinflint when i can't return the gesture. So can i ask that really no one get me anything this year. Just seeing you all is enough for me.' :)

Can you make them something "Christmassy" like pots of cranberry sauce or boozy mincemeat? Or red onion jam? Wouldn't cost a fortune & much nicer than cheap tat?

Am I the only one who thinks the OP should stick to her guns? They have agree to the No Presents rule and I actually think it's being unkind to embarrass someone who can't actually afford even a 'little something'. Any 'spare' cash the OP has should be spent on her and her DC, not thoughtless 'friends'.

How about a Secret Santa with a minimal price limit? £5 is plenty (the one I'm involved with is £3). Don't allocate names, it has to be suitable for everyone.

Everyone gets a prezzie, nobody's embarrassed by not having found the perfect gift for a particular person.

Nannyogg... That's kind of exactly how I feel! It feels like it's designed to embarrass me and makes me just not want to go.

What MrsKoala said.

No point wasting money if it's short. Nobody really needs any of the stuff suggested.