Partners Dogs!

[waitingformychance]

Just moved in with my partner and his 6 large dogs ! AIBU !? I feel I am at times and other times I could scream!

I lived in his house for the last 6 months with him and his 6 dogs and just about tolerated the way it was, they aren't trained to ask to go out - so they wee etc as they please over night, and they ruin the furniture and completely take over the whole house . I feel there is too many as they constantly bark at each other for alpha dog etc.

But now we have bought a house together and I am already after just a week at the end of my tether with them, nothing can be left out - shoes , food , paperwork, nothing ! or they destroy it, the sofa is destroyed and ripped apart if left alone with it.

I love my partner and this was a new and moving on step for us, but I dread being in the home with them , I just want to get up and out everyday.

Just to add I do actually really like dogs, had my own in the past , this just feels so many and so much !

Sorry but a I'm a little on the side of YABU..... You knew he had 6 dogs, you surely must have been in his house before and seen (and smelt) the dogs before?

I would hazard a guess that op and dh are a lost cause as far as these animals are concerned. Perhaps the dp will step up and train them but on the evidence it looks unlikely. As I said before, something has to give. Perhaps OP will end up moving out or perhaps it will be the dogs. Either way most sensible folk would appreviate that the situationas currently is can't continue. It is no good for human nor animal.

Yes I believe they are too.

but they also need to wake up and realise just what he and later on they have done.

It takes time and alot of effort to train one dog. This is six. untrained so doubtful their exercise requirements are ever met due to them not being trained and able to go off lead making training even harder.

you cannot train six bored destructive dogs who aren't even house broken in a reasonable amount of time.

These dogs are going to need months if not longer of constant hard work.

tell me, what the result of any ultimatum or any forward plan is going to be here that is going to result in a positive outcome for all the dogs.

I think we are saying the same thing, Giles, only you are more angry than me!

We both agree these dogs have been badly failed by OP and dp, we both agree they don't sound capable of responsible training and ownership. Where we differ is it seems you want the dogs to stay with the dh/OP and I think a new way forward is needed.

If the situation continues, it is perhaps likely the OP/dh will want children and at that point I imagine the poor dogs might be moved on in a hurry. As it is, OP owes the animals time. Either they rehome them to decent people (that could take a long while) or they arrange training/indoor/outdoor living. I don't personally think a man who has lived like this for years will be able to invest the time and effort to sort the situation out. The dogs would stand a better chance without him, imo. Do you think they should keep the dogs and continue as is? I am not sure what you think should happen here?

I honestly don't know tbh. I do get very angry on threads like this because often the dogs seem to be the last consideration for the people involved.

The way it was written I think. The op wanted advice and sympathy. quite frankly your beyond both when you have sat by and watched someone do that to defenseless animals and not stepped up to help them and just hidden out of the house instead.

ideal situation. The poor things get the hell out of that house. But where they go I don't know. a shelter may not have space or resources to turn each dog into a house trained desirable pet. months going nuts in a shelter hoping an expert comes for a project, X6? ??

we all know what there's a good chance of here

and the sadder thing is its still preferable to their life right now if they don't both step up and train the poor things.

I think. It would be nice if op just came back and acknowledged just how bad it was. not for her. Not for her new house. But for the dogs.and what it could really mean for them.

I do understand you upset, Giles and I completely agree OP should come back and accept the dogs are now her equal problem and she needs to do her best to resolve the situation for everyone. OP and dh need to do their utmost to find a happy outcome for the dogs.

I think a calm chat with dp is needed because he NEEDS to come to terms with and accept the fact he has failed these animals. From there, hopefully progress for all can be made.

OP, where are you?

I think that was the point in was trying to make. In that your not wrong. maybe they will. I just can't see how, when they are all living like this, that he wouldn't already know. I just find it hard to believe that one chat would suffer my change his perception if the situation be we how cab you live with 6 untrained dogs destroying the house and not know it's an issue until your dp sits you down for a chat.

I dont disagree with what you are saying needs to be done.

I just disagree that it's going to have an effect because just how could you not know.

The op seems to genuinely be surprised. so I. just can't imagine that it will achieve anything.

I can't see anything changing at all any time soon

Sorry for typos. Sure you can get the gist

What dogs are they OP?
I'd just step up and learn to love them, live with them, train them, and make sure you exercise them ALOT!
Could be quite dangerous if untrained, especially as dogs can sometimes form 'packs' and attack. Unexcercised, unhappy dogs are most likely to attack and be viscious. It's cruel to ignore the problem.

Solution-wise, I think there are just 2 that think of the dogs' welfare.

1. OP and her DP each dedicate several hours each day to training and exercising all of the dogs. It's not quick, it's not easy. It's gritty but dogs can't live the way they're living and be happy.

1. OP and her DP put serious effort into finding new, loving homes for each dog, ensuring new owners have the time to train and exercise the dog they receive.

OP, come back and tell us more. Let people on here (who clearly know and care about dogs) help you to find a way forward.

Jesus OP take some heed of what has been said on this thread. Poor animals

So you didnt visit him at his place before moving in together?
You didnt know of the dogs beforehand?
What kind of relationship is this? Did you just meet him in a foreign country and bring him over or something?

Just re read your post - cancel my last comment.
You moved into his house and knew the dogs were there. They were there first.

Hang on the OP did not fuck these dogs up!! Her partner did. Yes she has been totally ridiculous to think that buying a new house would diet the problem but she is not responsible for these animals.

The question is what do you do now? If it were me I would be trying to work out if all of the dogs had an issue with weeing in the house and destroying things, or if some were ok and some weren't. Then at least you could concentrate on training the ones that had the issue. Do these dogs get walked? If so how often and for how long?

I don't think it's unreasonable to think about rehoming some of them. I have no idea if this is even possible as the homing centres are jam packed, but you could certainly try.

If you have to keep all six then I would be thinking about converting the garage into a heated area for them overnight and during the day making sure they were walked and stimulated. It's a nightmare scenario and unfortunately you've made it your problem by moving in with your partner.

NewEra, OP has been living with these dogs for 6 months, during which she could have trained them - this is as much her fault as her DPs I'm afraid.

Eve you cannot just train six adult dogs, get serious. Experienced owners have enough trouble training one!

If the OP had had any sense she should have visited her DP's house, seen the state of the place and given him a HUGE wide berth. But for some reason she has taken him and his pissy dogs on and now she has to try and figure out what the hell to do next.

I'm amazed someone can honestly think the best they can do is to even come within 10-feet of a guy with six smelly arse dogs that do their business all over the place. The honk must have been unbelievably strong. My stomach is turning just thinking about it. And then live in such vile filth and buy a home with such a creature.

There will be no way to sell this house now, either, as the animals have destroyed it.

She may not have been initially responsible but she is contributing to the problem now and has been for 6 months. Doesn't want anything to do with the dogs? Shouldn't have moved in with her bloke. Shouldn't have bought a house with him.

Sorry but the dogs are now both their responsibility and if she doesn't or won't acknowledge, accept it and do something about it she's just as bad.

6 months+*

What type of dogs are they? Dogs are a lot of work to train and people appear to go into owning a dog blindly, YABU to complain about this now, but YANBU to want to no longer live like this!

Do some serious research into dog trainers in your area and be ready to put some real effort into training them up properly, it won't happen overnight and will be an ongoing process that you'll have to keep going with! I'd also look into what you feed them as that also influences their behaviour, and make sure that you're giving them enough DAILY exercise for their breeds, not just staying in during the week and walking on the weekend, dogs need daily exercise and generally quite a lot of attention, so make sure between the two of you, you can provide them with this and if you are unable to do this, it might be time to have a look at finding them homes where they can get all that they need.

Waiting what does your DP think about his dogs' behaviour and does he know how you feel about it? Did you discuss it with him before buying the house together?

You will have a hard time asking him to give them up