I have gone back to work so this means my DH is having to do a lot more of the childcare and he is finding it really really tough. My son has aspergers and I suspect my DH does as well - and he cant cope with his meltdowns - as long as everything goes to plan everything is fine. He now also has to take them to their swimming lessons after school and he is nearly at breaking point with the whole swimming pool routine. Since the kids were babies we have been going to a community breakfast at our local community centre, and the kids love it however DH detests it and as I am working I cant take them. It was a huge shock for the kids me going back to work as DH rarely did anything with them and it has been tough - but it is generally working now. However he wants to stop the activities they are involved with when he in charge as he says his life and sanity should come first. He hates anything social so when they are with him he can only cope with them at home. We have been doing this breakfast thing since they were babies and they are devastated not to go anymore. Swimming lessons isn't too bad because I should be able to change them to a different day and time when I could take them but it will be disruptive for them as they will have different teachers and they are both doing so well with their current teachers. It is hard for me to unsderstand because I just do these things without thinking about and to me it seems mean to put his own needs first!! AIBU expecting him to carry on doing these things with them or should he upset the children by putting his needs first??? In a nutshell life would be much smoother and stress free if I didn't work but unfortunately we cant afford for me not too!!