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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if actually he can attend the party after all?

14 replies

Kitsandkids · 27/11/2014 01:05

My 5 year old got invited to a party a couple of weeks ago. It's on this Sunday. We'd made plans to stay with friends for the weekend so I told him he couldn't go. This resulted in a minor tantrum, though he did want to see the friends so he got over it.

However, his brother has now come down with a vomiting bug. I told our friends about this and, as they have a young baby, even if he's on the mend by the weekend they no longer want us to visit. This is fair enough.

The problem now is that I'll have to tell the 5 year old that we're not seeing the friends, but that I've aleady said he's not going to the party. I imagine he'll ask if he can now go to the party, so is it really bad form to ask the mum if this would be okay?

It's at a community centre and is, i think, a whole class type of affair, so i don't think him now going would affect the party very much but i realise it is very short notice.

What would you think if you were approached by someone who previously declined an invitation to ask if the invite was still open?

OP posts:

SolidGoldBrass · 27/11/2014 01:13

Erm, I don't think the party host or the parents of the other kids would be very pleased if your DS attends and spreads the vomiting bug. I know it's your other child who has it now but your 5-year-old will have it within a couple of days...

Concordial · 27/11/2014 01:14

No harm in asking.
However, if one of your kids has got the vomiting bug now there's a risk you/your DS will have by the weekend and you may have yo cancel again.
I'd ask the mum anyway and explain the situation. See what she says and go from there.

PresidentTwonk · 27/11/2014 01:14

I'd be happy my child's friend could come and wouldn't have a problem with the short notice if there's nothing to book etc

PresidentTwonk · 27/11/2014 01:18

I'd be happy my child's friend could come and wouldn't have a problem with the short notice if there's nothing to book etc

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/11/2014 01:18

I am currently cursing the late, "yes" reply to DD's party. One more party bag (which will doubtless go unused as we are bound to have a no-show) has meant buying sets of things, which has cost a fortune. However, I am still very glad this child is coming as DD loves her. Bloody party bags.

Minerves · 27/11/2014 02:39

yabu if he might be contagious

PedantMarina · 27/11/2014 02:56

We've recently "reneged on a regret" (change of plans - no stomach bug involved), but I bent over backwards to say it's OK if there's no room, and that DS doesn't care about party bags, just wants to come and have fun with his friends. Our hostess was fine with this.

londonrach · 27/11/2014 05:26

Yabu due to brothers vomiting. You don't want the whole class coming down with it. However sunday is a few days away so brother should be clear nd ds might not catch it. Ask host but mention the vomiting and give it 48 hours after last vomit in house.

yellowdinosauragain · 27/11/2014 06:43

I'd have no problem at all with you asking if your ds can now come to the party.

As regards the vomiting bug, those of you saying he should only go to the party if there has been no vomit in the house for 48 hours are being ridiculous. There is no need to quarantine the whole house if someone in it has d and v since the only person contagious is the person actually affected.

Secondly, if the boy who is currently. unaffected by the vomiting bug could pass it on to others despite having no symptoms he can't then he's already done so to all the children at the party given that the whole class are going

yellowdinosauragain · 27/11/2014 06:44

Obviously if your son does catch it then he should only go to the party (or back to school) 48 hours after his last vomit but if he remains well there is no need to keep him home.

Mrscog · 27/11/2014 06:48

I think it's a good opportunity to impress good hand hygiene on yr 5yo. He has the bribe of being able to go to the party if he doesn't get it. Most bugs are transmitted by the faecal oral route so as long as he keeps his hands clean and you keep towels separate, and surfaces clear he has a reasonable chance of not picking it up.

See how everyone is on Saturday then decide.

Altinkum · 27/11/2014 06:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fairyfuckwings · 27/11/2014 07:40

I wouldn't mind at all - in fact I'd be really pleased!

I'm a bit surprised at all the people saying yabu as he may have a stomach bug. Do people keep their children off school (where there's the chance of infecting hundreds of kids) on the off chance they may be ill at some point in the week? My school would go nuts if people did tjis! Attendance figures would be horrendous!

Original poster

Kitsandkids · 27/11/2014 21:10

I asked the mum and she seemed, I hope, genuinely pleased that he can now attend.

I am a bit surprised that people think I should keep him away just in case he's ill. He's been at school today and will be again tomorrow even though his brother is off now until Monday. I know it is fairly likely that he may catch it too, but there is a chance it will pass him by so, while he's well, I have to send him to school. He's mixing with the same children there as he will be at the party so I can't see the problem there as long as he's well. Of course, if he starts showing any symptoms he will not be going to the party. Thanks for your replies.

OP posts:

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