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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask if you'd bother mentioning anything to school? (hair related)

62 replies

juicycelebrity · 26/11/2014 19:18

DS(10) had his hair cut yesterday. For the last few cuts he's had it very short around the sides and longer, combed over on the top and the barber has used the clippers at where his parting would be. This accentuated it and made it look like a line.

Hair cut yesterday is very similar but he had quiffed the top a bit more rather than comb it over. It looks fashionable but it is smart.

Today he's been told off for having a clippered line in his hair (where the parting is, it's not at the side).

I fully support school rules and am intending to email and apologise and say he won't have that done again. AIBU to be a bit miffed though as this is the 4th(ish) time he's had this 'line'. Am debating whether to mention that or just apologise.

OP posts:

whois · 26/11/2014 22:19

It's scientifically proven that if boys have interesting hair styles then they don't learn anything, disrupt school and end up as unemployed layabouts gaming the system.

Oh. Actually. Hang on. That's total fucking bullshit and there is no like between strict school dress codes and attainment.

I think the school are being U but sense I'm in the minority's.

saoirse31 · 26/11/2014 22:23

What possible difference does his hair style make to his education? is it private school?

Cocolepew · 26/11/2014 22:32

Every other boy around here seems to have that haircut, from 8-18. I blame Peaky Blinders

Original poster

juicycelebrity · 26/11/2014 22:37

lol. Nope Saoirse31, just a bog-standard primary. :)

DS moved there after being bullied at his old school, and tbf to this school, he has absolutely flourished there and I love it. He is genuinely one of the hardest working in his class and they are bringing him on in leaps and bounds. Hence why, despite feeling a bit miffed, there is no way I'm rocking any boats. :)

This 'line' will grow out quickly and we'll wait until the longer holidays before making him look like a member of 1D.

OP posts:

DoJo · 26/11/2014 22:39

Why aren't they allowed lines in their hair? Did someone at the school have obscenities shaved into their hair?

MrsBigginsPieShop · 26/11/2014 22:47

DH has the same hair and he's a professional adult :) I like it. It looks very smart and fashionable. I'd rather see a 10 year old taking some pride in his appearance than a scraggly haired wotsit in a classroom. But then I am quite shallow :)

pinoli · 26/11/2014 22:52

Our school is sporting a foundation kid with a mohawk and another boy in yr 2 with his initials and initials of his football team shaved into the respective sides.

School couldn't give a monkey

islandmama · 26/11/2014 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CromerSutra · 26/11/2014 22:56

I think it's fine. I loathe schools making ridiculous rules about things like that. I work in a school with no uniform and no such edicts and there are virtually no issues. Children wear practical clothes and do what they like with their hair. They put long hair up for cooking or P.E.

Toomanyhouseguests · 26/11/2014 23:31

I am pretty conservative. I won't let DDs get their ears pierced till highschool. Tatoos are not to my taste. I am scandalised by platform high heels, heavy eye makeup, fake nails etc. I think footballers and Lewis Hamilton look stupid with big diamond studs in their ears. I feel sorry for young people who have "creatively" pierced their faces.

Basically, I am quite prim.

But this hair cut seems fine to me. It's neat and tidy, not covering his eyes, no rude words or distracting colours etc. It's not wildly individualistic, just a small nod to teenage fashion. I am amazed that school can be bothered to care about this! That said, rules are rules, and I would support the school out of principle because ultimately me supporting my children's school is the best thing in the long run for my DC.

I still don't "get" why the school and many other posters are so turned off by this hairstyle. Maybe it sends signals that I am too "square" to even read!

VenusRising · 26/11/2014 23:36

Just dab a bit of eyeliner in his parting, or brown eyeshadow until its not so obvious.

I think it's fine, and think that having pride in appearance is a fine thing- especially when you see the state of secondary school boys and their greasy emo mops....

VonHerrBurton · 26/11/2014 23:38

I like it, my son's is pretty similar, he's 12. The barber did mention they'd had parents/boys asking for the style minus the line because schools have told boys off, so we've had it slightly less severe because of that.

As someone mentioned before me id rather that than the awful long, scruffy, shaggy dog normally greasy style that's thankfully had its day around these parts! All that constant pulling at fringes with hands..... Horrible ;)

Original poster

juicycelebrity · 26/11/2014 23:47

I like that, on balance, IANNBU! :)

Am thinking of sending this:

Hi Teacher

I understand there was a problem at school today with DS's haircut. We are very sorry if it has contravened school rules. DS has said that the problem was his parting as the barber used the clippers to accentuate it. We didn't realise this would be a problem as he has had that for his last 3/4 hair cuts. We'll make sure it doesn't happen again during term time.

Blaah, blaah, blaah comment about the hectic-ness of Christmas approaching in schools to soften the end of the email.

[Post edited by MNHQ to remove RL name]

OP posts:

VanitasVanitatum · 26/11/2014 23:53

Maybe they didn't notice before, maybe they just us a staff meeting and decided to send out letters, could be a variety of reasons that it was ok before.

I think it looks cute but I don't think you have a reason to be annoyed, he's managed to get away with having a hair cut he likes for a lot longer than he was meant to (not that you knew) so them only just mentioning it is a good thing really! At least they haven't asked him to change it.

Original poster

juicycelebrity · 26/11/2014 23:56

That may well be true. I won't let him put wax in it tomorrow so hopefully that will instantly help. :)

OP posts:

hippo123 · 27/11/2014 00:07

I think it looks very smart and can't see the problem at all. I also fail to see what a child's hair cut has to do with their school.

pieceofpurplesky · 27/11/2014 00:15

I wouldn't let my ten year old have his haircut like that as it is too grown up. He's ten. The school I teach in (like most others) has a uniform policy which states 'no extreme hair styles'. I totally agree with it - they are at school to learn, they are children and as such their clothes and hair should reflect that. It is easy to say hair/fashion does not interrupt learning - actually it does. Bullying increases, silly comments etc. free dress days are impossible. If the OPs son was at my school he would be in the inclusion Hub until it had grown.

TheFairyCaravan · 27/11/2014 00:25

DS1 has got a shorter version of that haircut, he is in the army. When I went to his pass out parade I'd say 80% of them had it.

I can't see the problem with it. It is a smart, tidy haircut imo. When my nephew was 9 or 10 he had had a Nike tick shaved into the back of his heada,

Nanny0gg · 27/11/2014 00:44

Have to laugh.

I went to a very strict grammar back in the 60s/70s. I looked at my last whole school photo the other day (1969) and if you could see the state of the long, unkempt hair and wild afros that were sported...

The OP's son's hair looks very smart in comparison (although I'm not all that keen on the shaved sides)

ItsaboatJack · 27/11/2014 00:51

Why do schools give a shit about haircuts. One more reason why I love the school my dc go to, my dd just started reception and has been in one day with pink hairspray in, and another time with clip in purple hair. One little boy in her class has come into school everyday since they started in one form of fancy dress or another. I'm quite glad that they seem to care more about what the children are learning rather than what they look like.

gingee · 27/11/2014 01:16

piece inclusion hub??!! Wtf is that when it's at home??!! Don't you mean EX clusion

I'd be fuming if my child was 'isolated' for what could be weeks because of a hair cut

If a school can't effectively deal with bullying that arises from people looking slightly different from one another in whatever way, not having the 'cool' hair style, wrong shoes etc, then it's no good IMO. How are kids young adults, in high schools supposed to deal with the outside world when they're told how to cut their hair, what bloody socks to wear, until they're 16 or 18. My dd has been teased for her hair - it's v curly, long and bright red, think Merida from Brave. The school emphasised that we are all different, and that if dd wanted to wear her thick curly red hair down how she wanted it or in a rather poufy ponytail, then that's ok, even if it 'looks stupid' to the bullies. If they'd told her to start scraping it back to minimise its 'distracting' effects, I'd have gone insane.

JamNan · 27/11/2014 06:59

I can't see anything wrong with it - I think it looks smart.
In my day it was the total opposite - boys were sent to the Head if their hair was half an inch over their collar and told in no uncertain terms to 'get a hair cut!' Any boy with shoulder length hair was threatened with expulsion.

Brittabot · 27/11/2014 07:16

If you send that letter you are just flagging up your unwillingness to follow the rules. It's against school rules, you and your son knew that and just because nobody noticed until now doesn't make a difference. I'm not saying I agree with the rule, but if you object to that then discuss it with them, don't teach your son that it's ok to flout rules if nobody notices.

pieceofpurplesky · 30/11/2014 19:54

Gingee nope I mean inclusion. Exclusion means being excluded out of school whereas inclusion means they stay in school and continue and education whilst isolated from other pupils. The hub or pupil referral unit or whatever it's called is where pupils who don't comply with school rules are kept.
You ask what we are teaching te children by keeping them from lessons - we are teaching them that rules are there to be obeyed. Too many parents seem to think that it is ok if their child breaks a rule - piercings, hair cuts, colours, shoes, jewellery etc. schools have rules - stick to them or find one that doesn't (nearly impossible)

pieceofpurplesky · 30/11/2014 19:56

Also gingee there is a difference between your daughters natural (and beautiful sounding) hair than someone who comes in dip dyed bright blue and black ...

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