My mum and I have a long history of not getting along due to her ignoring an awful lot of abuse I suffered at the hands of my dad both as a child and as an adult. she is incredibly over bearing and from the second I gave birth to dd has tried to take over and muscle in for example demanding that she gave dd her first bath when we came out of hospital, demanding to be at the birth and threatening to turn up even after u had told her I didn't want her there (had to inform the hospital to send her away of she turned up). I have bitten my tongue til it bleeds over virtually everything until she started telling me that I was doing a crap job and everything I was doing was wrong at which point I told her a few home truths and refuses to speak to her until she apologised which took about a month. since then things have been fine until today.
she phoned this morning to see if dd and I were free to meet at a local shopping centre as her sister is up visiting. now I get on very well with my aunt and we are exceptionally close which has always been a bone of contention for mum. we were sat having a coffee and I gave dd her snack pot - now she has had a nasty tummy bug and hasn't eaten for nearly 3 days. the pot ignore of those nuby monster things where they have the rubber fibs to offer a bit of resistance and stop kids grabbing everything in the pot at once. dd is 15 months and has been using it for a while but new treats take her a few minutes to figure out how to get out. it was some organix sweetcorn rings if that matters. So mum took it away from dd and started trying to get the snacks out and I very quietly said to her to leave dd alone with ot as she is quite capable of getting them out if she wants them. mum ignored me and carried on so I asked her again to leave dd to it as she is happy enough just playing with the pot and will figure it out in her own time. so out of the blue mum throws a proper tantrum and making snide remarks about having her head bitten off which I certainly didn't do (I didn't my aunt if I had been rude and she agreed I hadn't) so I ignored mum's frankly embarrassing behaviour and then took the pot off dd. mum had loosened the lid so I was putting it back on and I think mum thought I was taking the snacks out to give to dd so started saying to dd that I was a nasty and being horrible to Granny and biting her head off for doing nothing. my aunt told mum that she had said enough and to stop it. mum made another snidey remark so I quite firmly told her to pack it in or I would take dd home. I wasn't rude and didn't shout but mum has sulked all day and refused to speak to me.
my aunt told me to ignore her but it is praying on my mind. so wibu?
sorry for the essay