to have bought a £40 wedding gift?

[Carrierpenguin]

One of my oldest/best friends got married recently. She chose to get married abroad, which cost me c£800 to attend ouch I would never have chosen to go to this destination if it hadn't been for her wedding, there was no cheap option so I had to suck it up, as did the other guests.

The gift list asked for cash, or there was a john Lewis list with some fancy crockery etc. My friend said to me 'oh don't get me anything, you paid to come overseas'. But I decided to get her a personalised photo frame with a nice photo of us, it cost £40. When I gave it to her she looked at it, then tossed it aside and said we needed to go for dinner. I tried mentioning it to her a few weeks later but she just said 'its sweet' and changed the subject. So wibu to spend only £40 on a personalised gift, when she'd made clear she wanted money?

Well that's nice for the groom isn't it a photo of his wife and friend. It was a wedding not her birthday. I find it so odd when people buy something for half the couple when the whole celebration is about the union of two people. Maybe that's why she wasn't overjoyed with it.

And yes it also reminds me of the Big Bang theory with Amy giving Penny a photo of the two of them.

Hmm, think it was an odd present. You should have not got here one at all, like she said. Less stress next time!

I genuinely thought you thought you may be asking if you were being unreasonable for spending as much as £40, not as little!

Your friend sounds very ungrateful.

She told you not to get her anything so don't think it was the cost of the frame that was the issue (as she would have no idea how much you spent, unless you told her) I think she was perhaps a bit underwhelmed.

I wouldn't be bowled over by the gift of a frame/framed photo tbh.
I was once presented with a frame, given by a friend, she knew that I don't do photo's and frames. She then told me which photo I was to put in it (one that included her)
Why she thought I would have her out on display when I don't even display my dc's pics I don't know

The thought was there and I did thank her, but perhaps I didn't fall over myself to show her the gratitude she was expecting!

Its not always easy to hide your true feelings when accepting a gift that you don't truly appreciate, but I guess she could have tried not to make it so obvious.
So yanbu to feel hurt upon her reaction, maybe a photo of her and her new dh may have been better, after all it was a joint gift.

But tbh i would just forget it and put it down to experience.

The amount of money was fine, the gift itself was a little odd. Giving presents should be about the receiver not the giver. You chose to give her what you wanted to give her not what you knew she wanted. So for that yabu.

Gift was odd, an empty frame or a picture of the couple is fine but not one of friends. A photo frame or wine is perfect when a grabby couple ask for cash. Even worse if they get married abroad so the guests are either expected to pay for the trip or miss the weddinh yet still cough up a gift.

Tossing it aside would have ensured she never got a gift again. Even if you hate a gift you do the polite thing then dispose of it later.

I think she probably doesn't like the gift rather than being annoyed you didn't spend more.

It wasn't the right choice for a wedding present.

That said she's still rude!

It's a really popular and common wedding gift. It gets tedious opening the 110th photo frame tbh and you know you don't have enough bloody space in your house for so many photo frames as well so most will end up at the charity shop in a cupboard somewhere. That was one of the most common gifts at our wedding. I was grateful anyone got us anything at all of course, I wasn't expecting anything but seriously I think I'd have preferred to not get anything... Appreciate your friend likes photo frames but maybe she received quite a lot of them and found it boring? Or yes, didn't like the frame. I don't know. She should still have acted happy about it though.

She's being ungrateful but I do find that an odd gift, not really wedding appropriate since it's supposed to be about the couple getting married, not you and her as friends.

Has she written a thank you for the frame?

Why would you get her a personalised photo frame with a picture of you and her as a wedding gift?

Sorry op but I think I'd be if you gave me a photo of you on my wedding day. It would be hard to know what to say.

Maybe I am a bit odd but I would have liked a photo of me and a friend [as long as I looked half decent in it!].
Guests are often going to know one half of a couple better than the other so the fact the groom not included in present would be no big deal for me.

Did she literally toss it, or did she put it down (you didn't expect her to take it to dinner did you?)?
I think that's the kind of gift that's about the giver than the receiver and i'd find it a bit odd and not really know what to say.

Next time just take people at their word and buy nothing or buy a voucher for the store they have a list at.

Wedding lists are a nightmare because of everyone else's preconceptions:
Cash suggestion - Oh no, its impersonal
Honeymoon vouchers - Why cant they make do with Bognor / why should I pay for their holiday?
Gift list - its grabby / too expensive / why should I fill their house?
Nothing - why don't they love what I bought / they're ungrateful because I spent loads on this?

How about just going with whatever's suggested within a budget to suit you?

I'd have preferred a bin to be honest. The photo frame thing sounds cringey.