AIBU to request tips about taking a sickie? WWYD?

[tripartitealliance]

I haven't done this sickie thing before. Ever.
Tomorrow afternoon I am due to give presentation. I said I would do it and I organised it. Whilst some people have put time aside for it specially and it is vaguely important-cum-relevant to others, it is not a presentation that will solve world peace or prevent anyone from putting children's toys in gendered sections in the supermarket ever again. But if I cancel it for no good reason I will look like a knob. Like, really, a total knob. If I am sick people will probably be put out a bit, but honestly not really think about it much and will take it as being rescheduled and get on with their own things.
I thought I'd have enough time to do the research today, but have been absolutely swamped at work. Looking at what needs to be done tonight (in between getting DC ready for bed and actually into bed!) and what other really important things need to be done tomorrow morning at work, there is no way I can finish it to an acceptable standard either for myself or for others. Also, all my stockings are laddered
So, the only way forward is, I have decided, to take a sickie. A brand new experience for me, as I would usually always come into work even if I am quite ill; I'd either have to be at SARS-level infectious or be pretty much dead already to stay at home when required to be in the office for something important.
Please therefore be so kind as to advise which is least likely to look suspicious under the circumstances. Should I
(a) surreptitiously let colleague/s know tonight already that I'm feeling a bit under the weather, and if so should I make it an email or an off-hand social media sort of comment;
(b) inform colleagues tomorrow morning first thing that I won't be in the office as I'm feeling under the weather, and thus need to postpone the presentation too; or
(c) inform colleagues mid-morning that I've been feeling under the weather (??and have popped into the GP for an emergency appointment??) and won't be able to make it in today, and thus need to postpone the presentation. (They won't, for the record, question if I'm not there first thing as the nature of the work often means people arrive at their desks anywhere between 7am and 11am).
WWYD? Help!

LOL at the videoconference with chickenpox! A memorable image for your audience, at least.

Just do a basic presentation and say that sorry, but your children were I'll and took up your evenings?

DON'T APOLOGISE AND DON'T EXPLAIN.

Just do it.

Absolutely just do it! Do you best and smile.

How long is the presentation supposed to be ?

I'm SURE we can help

I REALLY don't want to read this book about secretions

1 day will not cut it, and tbh I don't think it fair on others to cover you for a non existent sick day.

Nope, don't pull a sickie - way too obvious, not to mention risky for all the reasons other pp have said.

What time is the presentation scheduled for? Sorry if I've missed that bit. Work back from that to see just how many hours you've got to work on it - and how little sleep you can function on. So, say the Dc's are sleeping now, you've got six hours between now and 3am, bed for four hours and back up at 7? Have you got time to pull the presentation together in the office in the morning?

I realise you'll look and feel like shit on four hours' sleep, but use that to your advantage. If the delivery is a little rough round the edges, people will think it's due to that virus you think you're coming down with, and your bosses will still view you as someone who never goes off sick. Win win.

If you throw a sickie, you'll feel crap this time tomorrow night - but if you get in and do it, you'll be glad it done and over with this time tomorrow night!

Good luck with it!

I agree with jocktsons. I had a very important meeting a few months ago. I'm never off sick and was in a horrendous state . Got back to bed and realised I had the meeting. Too late to cancel so I manned up , attended , did my bit and went straight home after. If I had of called in sick they would have thought I was pulling a sickie to avoid.

Damn Clash I should've checked the thread again after putting DC to bed; I missed your offer! Are you sure secretions weren't interesting?
Update Did some work but ended up having to mostly work on the more important presentation for Wednesday and The Meeting with External Hotshots on Thursday, basically so that I don't look like I can't do anything right at all. In other words I have chosen to look like a knob on one thing and an all-star on two things rather than a wash-out on three things.
I have phoned a super-keen colleague who works on similar things to ask that they represent me at the meeting, and let the other co-organiser know that I am a bit ill. Downplayed the importance of what I was going to say anyway, and up-played the other participants' brilliance with a "You'll have some extra time for questions on Tim and Isabelle and Greta's really useful material!"
I'll use what I've done last night and this morning to touch on the things I should've spoken about today in tomorrow's follow-on.
I'll also use the advice given earlier and ignore the mini-conference food on Wednesday and munch on crackers just to drive some random point home in case.
Sickie it is. I'll take the hit. Hopefully my reputation salvages itself.
to all contributors in thanks!

Make sure no foundation on Wednesday and try hugging a mug of green tea like your life depends on it, you'll ace it!

I don't think taking a single day off mid weeks is obviously a sickie - if you have been up all night with the squits then one day off usually gets you back to being ok.

But late now op as it's the day, burnt would (in order of preference):

1. Pull a mega late one and get it done to an acceptable standard and wing it. Coffee coffee coffee the next day. It's amazing that can be achieved in 2 to 3 hours of solid work.

1. Camcel due to 'client commitments' and reschedule.

1. Pull a super mega late one getting it done to a polished standard. Call in sick but distribute lovely slides.

People saying 'it's obvious and risky' to pull a sucky - why? Line manager "I don't believe you were really ill" and you reply "I had terrible diorrhea all night and most of the morning, terrible stomach cramps, never had pain like that before with D&V. Totaly wiped me out but luckily passed by the afternoon and I pretty much slept right through to the next day".

Can't be proved one way or the other.

Midweek sickie looks way more legit than a Monday or Friday sickie.

i am genuinely taken aback at all the posters who think it's acceptable (and funny) to lie and underperform like this. the OP is acting like a 14 year old who hasn't done her homework and you lot are backing her up like it's all ok.

OP, if you were on my team i'd likely have a quiet word with you about this ridiculous situation. you are an adult. you are paid to do a job. if you can't, you speak to your line manager.

this has strayed into the realm of pathetic and dishonest. OP, i hope there are repercussions so you can maybe learn how to conduct yourself like a responsible adult in future.

just...wow.

Too late now but I think it is always best to turn up and manage the situation rather than call in sick and be unavailable to manage your reputation.

A very charming engaging oral presentation in front of some slightly inadequate slides is a million times better than just not being there and everyone being able to look on the server and see that the slides weren't done.

Blimey, Exwife. That told her.

You lot who are saying no to pulling a sickie do realise the extent to which employers give a fuck about employees, don't you?

As in, not at all.

When you're no longer useful, you are cast aside like an old sock.

There's more to life than work. Read your kids a story, bash a few slides out, if it really is too embarrassing to present yourself, email it to keen colleague to present for you. At least you'll look like you attempted to work while ill.

Don't sweat it.

Yeah I would pull a sickie, get your mum to call it inbthough make it look more believable. Or you could just write the notes on your hand, or get your bestie to set the fire alarm off just after you start talking...

Just to add, I've made myself seriously ill over work before. Still on meds. Not worth it.

Don't do it. Get off MN and get on with the presentation!

puny but if OP told the truth that she's been too busy to do the presentation there's no pressure there. There's a happy medium between throwing a sickie and working yourself into illness.

If you are being paid to work then pulling a 'sickie' is technically stealing. I would sit up til stupid o'clock and do it tonight, at least then it's out of the way!

Depends how much of your own time you put into your work. Could be seen as reclamation, rather than stealing.

Depends on the repercussions. Not being able to do the job you've agreed to do might have greater repercussions than one unusual sick day.

I agree that you shouldn't internalise some sort sort of ethical dimension to this. If the OP has been working all day every day and didn't get a chance to write the presentation, it simply means the workload is too great. However, how you manage that can reflect well or badly on you. taking a sickie is usually not, speaking entirely pragmatically, the best solution in terms of its knock-on effects on you. Particularly as managing your message / image in absentia is practically impossible.

I was thinking about the situation that the OP finds herself in and it seems symptomatic of a very current kind of pressure that the prep for an event is incompatible with day to day pressures, so the solution is that she should give up a night's sleep and work at home. There was a time when people would clear their diaries to prepare for events, working normal day time hours; a time when the sort of people who had presentations to prep would have had junior staff in the office to take care of day to day stuff and keep things ticking over. Now it seems that the solution is just "do it on your own time". yes, in the long term, it will make you ill.

Good luck OP I realise this is today we are talking about so I hope whatever you have decided to do, goes well.

puny you're preaching to the choir, here. i haven't worked in 2 years after a serious breakdown. work stress contributed to it. no doubt in my mind.

however, if a person who is paid to do a job cannot manage their time adequately to perform as expected due to workload, the adult thing to do is to approach their line manager and discuss. not fabricate some elaborate story (of which the sum total seems to be 'i had the shits and/or my period - don't query it') and risk any professional reputation over it.

also, how is pulling a sickie changing anything? OP's manager still won't know that her workload is unmanageable - so what happens next time?

the glee with which some posters are suggesting various ways for the OP to duck out of this presentation (and if it's not that important WHY is the presentation required in the first place?) just saddens me.