To not let dd stay at my mums ?

[Ghostintheshell]

Some back story first she's almost two and we are an hr and a half away . My sisters got mental illness she self harms try's to kill her self on a weekly basis and she an my mum often have rows that can be herd from miles away . My mums always begging for her to stay and I told her the truth why I don't want her to stay . She's wasn't happy o say the least and said I don't allow her to be a proper gran but yet never vists . So Aibu .

Sounds perfectly rational to me. Regardless of circumstance, your child should only stay at places that you are 100% happy with. Especially so young.

YANBU.

Tell her she is very welcome to come and stay with you for the weekend if she wants to spend more time with your DD.

YANBU.

Blimey. Wasn't expecting it to be so easy....
Yanbu!

I would say you would BU to let her stay.

Yanbu

Am still newish to mm what's bu ? ... The way my mum reacted over it I started thinking I might've been mean .

BU is being unreasonable.

No way on this earth would I let my young child stay under the same roof with someone so openly suicidal.

I know "normal" family behaviour covers a plethora of things but not that. Ever. Not until your dd is of an age to cope with seeing something like that without being freaked out. It would challenge some adults.

If your mum wants to play Lovely Granny then she needs to come to yours or you all meet up in a nearby town to go to places that your dd will like.

No. But could you give her time with your dd, either at your house or a day out, while you give her a break from your sister?

Your DDs safety is ALWAYS the first concern. YAdefinitelyNBU.

No you are completely right op and the fact that your mother can't see the dangers here is exactly why you shouldn't let her have sole care of your dd.