To think it reasonable that DD got a late card this morning....

[hillbilly]

DD (9) is notoriously reluctant to tidy her room. We have a cleaner once a week and tbh her only chore is to make sure bedroom is tidied beforehand so that the cleaner can actually clean. She was supposed to do it yesterday before bedtime and made a half hearted attempt. Fast forward to this morning - she was up at 6.45am and when I got up at 7 I mentioned that it would need to be done before school and that I would not leave the house until she was absolutely ready to go with teeth cleaned, face washed, uniform on, bag ready etc and of course her room tidied. Sooo we did not leave the house till 8.55 and arrived about 6 mins past. If they are late for register then they have to go to the school office to collect a late card to hand to the teacher.

She was completely mortified, in tears and blamed me. I felt absolutely heartbroken but figure it will hopefully make her a quicker in the mornings. Or will she just hate me

Yanbu, she needed to learn by feeling the consequences. I agree about also contributing to the household and this is a life skill as well. Don't feel bad, discuss with her later about how you can help her but you have not done anything wrong to her.

OP, Yanbu.

The relationship with school is very important but there are other allegiances/duties too - your daughter can't just follow the ones that are important to her. By showing her that she can't just shirk the ones she sees no value in, you have taught her a valuable lesson

Bettercall put its much better than I would have. This is very, very important lesson to learn.

I think you were absolutely right to insist that she tidied her room, but wrong to let it affect school.

You should have insisted it was done before bed last night. You could have given her a deadline and then made it clear there would be a loss of some kind of privilege if it wasn't done in time.

She's started her school day on the wrong foot now which is unfair on her and her teachers who will have to deal with it.

I take your point vestandknickers - the problem yesterday was that there was no immediate consequence I could give - she would have just gone to bed later which she would have loved! I'm also trying to move away from nagging them in the mornings, I just gently remind them of what they need to do, and then give a time reminder at 8, 8.15 and 8.30.