Friend cancelled on me due to exercise

[krystellie]

I was meant to be meeting a friend tonight for dinner which had been planned for weeks. I was especially looking forward to it as I've been planning my wedding so had a lot to discuss with her - including the dress I've finally chosen today.

However, she texted me this morning to say she couldn't meet as had overdone it at the gym this morning!

I can't help but think this is a bit of a poor show. Whilst I understand that people sometimes need to cancel due to illness or family problems, cancelling 6 hours beforehand due to doing too much exercise (!) sounds pretty flaky to me.

AIBU to feel a bit messed around? Especially as I declined another invitation from a friend I haven't seen in months who has now made other plans?

I was thinking along the same lines as Luann perhaps easier to say she overdid it at the gym than her OH doesn't want to go or they had a fight. TBH I would be annoyed but if it was a good friend I'd just let it go. Go out for a romantic dinner with your fiancé!

I'd be really peeved!

I've been left feeling like death if I've overdone it at the gym (first pump and spin classes I'm looking at you). All I was able to do was crawl up the stairs and lie on my bed making sure I didn't puke. I did it the other week after an extreme bootcamp class, I got home, got the kids to bed and whimpered in bed.

So yanbu for being pissed off but she really might be feeling dreadful.

It was pretty thoughtless of her to overdo it at the gym, if she knows that can leave her felling so tired. Exactly the same as someone going out drinking the night before, overdoing it, then discovering they have a hangover and feel too rough to go out. Cause and effect and learning from experience, hmm?

She's rearranged four people's evenings because she was tired six hours ago? Really odd. Couldn't she have rested during the day? Drunk some coffee? Is there more to it, concerning her boyfriend?

I thought we were good friends.

However, I've invited another mate out instead so will still have a lovely evening.

Make it all about you and your partner now and have a romantic meal for two. Don't let it spoil your night.

Upsetting and annoying yes, but unless she has form for this I'd try and forgive her. Is she new to the gym? It can take a lot out of you when you start.

Wow, some of you are very miserable, the OP has made it clear the night wasn't purely about wedding chat but even so I would love to hear about a friend's wedding plans, that is surely what good friends do.

Sounds like a poor excuse however some people are like that, I would only ever cancel if I was actually too ill to attend but I know people who cancel last minute as they are tired or had a bad day at work, the ones I hate are the 'I have had a bad day and don't want to ruin your night by being miserable'!!

I know which of my friends are flakey and those who genuinely only cancel if they really have to and I tend not to let it worry me anymore.

Thanks everyone, I had a lovely evening with another friend and my OH.

ZanyMobster - agree completely. I have some friends who would never dream of cancelling unless something very serious had happened.

I am still a bit unhappy with my friend for cancelling last night, especially as she was on FB this morning talking about today's gym trip (!) She's not new to exercise either - far from it. It's seems like an addiction.

Maybe she is on a diet and doesn't want to ruin it by going out for dinner.

I avoid eating/drinking events when am trying to lose weigh.

However- cancelling without a really, really good excuse is bad form.

If she's a good friend I'd have a chat and say you are sorry she's feeling under the weather, but were a wee bit disappointed.

I am not new to exercise, but have inadvertently broken myself on a couple of occasions - not usually the same day though, more like 24-48hrs.

Could it be an excuse? I have IBD and whilst I am pretty upfront about it, I've probably made some poor excuses in the past where the excuse should have really been 'I don't want to spend the evening in pain at your house worrying I might shit myself'. That's perhaps a little extreme, but just wondering if there could be a 'real' reason she doesn't want to share (if she's otherwise reliable).

I know you might feel disappointed, but you are both obviously close enough friends that's she's told you the truth of why she wasn't up to meeting and not some fib. That's says a lot about your friendship... If she's not normally one to ditch last minute then forgive her.... It's totally possible after a hard session and long day she was just exhausted xx